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Microsoft To Patent Phone Tag

OK This has got to be the best Microsoft story ever...

CNET has the juicy details. Read every word from the impressive headline to end of the cut.

Microsoft aims to end 'phone tag'

For a long time now, Microsoft has been touting the end of phone tag.

Next week, the company may finally take a step in that direction. For several years, Microsoft has shown demos in which people can choose who contacts them, and when--and through the miracle of software, we are seamlessly connected to those with whom we want to communicate. It's one of the company's favorite technology-of-the-future demos, right up there with the one in which the computer dutifully responds to our every spoken command.

Decent voice-command, however, still seems a bit far off. But Microsoft has some products it says will bring us closer to that reality of unified messaging.

The company has scheduled an event Monday in San Francisco where business division president Jeff Raikes and unified messaging VP Anoop Gupta will launch several new products.

"Imagine a world without jet lag, without phone tag, and without time wasted waiting for feedback," the software maker said in an invitation to reporters. "Join us as Microsoft reveals its strategy for delivering Unified Communications--a new way to collaborate, communicate and get things done across a global work force."

Microsoft has already announced some steps in this direction. Earlier this year, the company combined its Exchange unit with the real-time communications group that handles its Live Communications Server for instant messaging and presence management--software that detects whether you are online or offline. The company has also said that the next version of the Exchange e-mail server will be able to handle voice mail...

So Microsoft wants to end your regular phone tag and replace it with... Say it with me, "Microsoft Tag."

For a $3000 server license and an EULA that gives Bill Gates the right to data-mine your phone messages, you too can use "Microsoft Tag" and be free of the burden of regular phone tag.

Now before you hear your messages, a voice will interrupt you and ask you if you are sure you want to listen to the messages you just told Microsoft Tag you wanted to listen to. Then it will warn you that your verison of Microsoft Tag needs updating. Then it will interrupt you and ask...

More innovation from the minds of Microsoft.

Comments (10)

Will it come with a Blue Sc... (Below threshold)

Will it come with a Blue Screen of Death for your cell phone?

Only 3 grand? Gates must be... (Below threshold)

Only 3 grand? Gates must be hard up for cash?

Microsoft is so stupid, any... (Below threshold)
curtis kreutzberg:

Microsoft is so stupid, anyone can make a OS with 40,000,000 lines of code.Unix/linux is so much faster/more efficient(so, you set your mom up on linux?).And of course we wouldn't want to forget religion, Apple.If you got $3000 to spend on a $800 computer, you're golden.As an audio/visual machine Mac's are wonderful(good thing Bill keeps Steve afloat).I'm so happy my clients are so stupid that they purchase products that a retard like me can keep them running.

No, I disagree, only Micros... (Below threshold)

No, I disagree, only Microsoft can write a 40,000,000 line OS. Nobody else can work out what you can possibly need so many lines for. Animated paperclip mapbe?

[email protected] /usr/src $ find linux/ -name "*.c" -o -name "*.h" | xargs wc -l | tail -1
402421 total

So I guess that makes Linux 1% the size of Windows. Sweet.

No I haven't set my mother's computer up with Linux but I plan to as soon as I get a chance. That should eliminate all the problems she keeps having with the Microsoft software, hopefully.

Without phone tag, the busi... (Below threshold)
Josh Cohen:

Without phone tag, the business world would die a horrible death. People play phone tag on purpose sometimes -- I know I've called people with the intent of leaving them voicemails, knowing they wouldn't be in the office at a certain time.

MicroSoft ... In case you'r... (Below threshold)

MicroSoft ... In case you're not organized enough to run yourself ragged on your own.

This service already exists... (Below threshold)

This service already exists. I subscribe to a system which answers your phone, and then tries to find you at your various phone numbers. You can also answer on your computer. If you don't answer, it takes a message and text messages your cell phone with the number of the caller. You can then call the person back, or check the message on any internet device by logging into your account. Faxes get converted to pdf files for instant access anywhere, as well. It will even use ocr to read faxes over the phone, if necessary.
I have no financial interest in the service, I'm just a happy user.

Who Do You Want to Hide Fro... (Below threshold)

Who Do You Want to Hide From Today?™

...I'm sorry, "Microsoft" is not a valid answer. Who Do You Want to Hide From Today?™

...I'm sorry, "Go f*ck yourself Who Do You Want to Hide From Today?™

...I'm sorry...

(Dang it. Let's try that ga... (Below threshold)

(Dang it. Let's try that gag again...)

Who Do You Want to Hide From Today?™

...I'm sorry, "Microsoft" is not a valid answer. Who Do You Want to Hide From Today?™

...I'm sorry, "Go f*ck yourself is not a valid answer. Who Do You Want to Hide From Today?™

...I'm sorry...

[email protected] /u... (Below threshold)
[email protected] /usr/src $ find linux/ -name "*.c" -o -name "*.h" | xargs wc -l | tail -1 402421 total

So I guess that makes Linux 1% the size of Windows. Sweet.

Uh no. You counted the lines for the kernal and a bunch of kernal modules, but you left out the code lines for the bootstrapper, various daemons, login program, shell(s) and any other programs that are essential to make a bare installation of Linux usable (and that doesn't even include X11, so no GUI for you).






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