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Burglars should be choosers

There are times when I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense...

But I just can't do it like this guy. (NSFW for language, but damned funny)

Instead, I just sit back and laugh as other people do all the heavy lifting in making themselves look stupid.

Especially dumb criminals.

Most especially dumb criminals.

And right now, I need those good laughs. Fortunately, I found two great ones in the papers today.

I've never really ventured into the field of crime, but it seems to me that one of the most important elements of commiting crimes has to be properly choosing your victims. The ideal victim is not only one that won't fight back, but won't go to the authorities. A little homework up front in this will save the average crook a lot of time in the long run -- a long run that might end up being spent behind bars.

For example, if you're going on a car-robbing spree, choose your area carefully. Find a poorly-lit and little-travelled area, where the chances of being caught in the act are slim.

I would NOT recommend you start in the parking lot of the city jail.

But their stupidity quite possibly pales next to that of a couple of Boston-area burglars. They broke into a cheese shop in Boston's North End and stole the cash register.

Had they done a little asking around, they would have known that Fresh Cheese was owned by a fellow by the name of Carmen Salvatore DiNunzio, a convicted gangster who is the reputed underboss of the New England mob.

Of course the New England mob itself isn't what it used to be. At its peak, the Winter Hill Gang -- the leader of the "Irish Mafia" -- ran Boston to the point where the local FBI branch itself was a wholly owned and operated subsidiary. But ever since James "Whitey" Bulger got a tip from his Fed buddies that his indictment was pending and fled back in 1995, they really haven't been the same feared gang of thugs and brutes.

Still, I wouldn't be surprised if the register mysteriously turned up, still with all its money intact. Perhaps with even a smidgen extra tossed in.


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Comments (6)

Reminds me of an incident a... (Below threshold)

Reminds me of an incident a few years ago when a couple robbers burlgarized the home of the Don's mother.

The cops received visits from well-dressed men who said, "Don't worry about this one. It will be taken care of."


Jay, You do realiz... (Below threshold)
P. Bunyan:


You do realize that the term "dumb criminals" is pretty redundant? Kinda like "socialist democrats".

This is like the two clown ... (Below threshold)
Kevin Weeks:

This is like the two clown burglars, Robert Denadi and David Houghton who robbed the Gardner museum Boston St Patricks day 1990.

They were killed trying to make a deal with Whitey Bulger, who, in turn, subsequently had the Gardner Art shipped to Ireland, where they remain, in the hands of the IRA's Chief of Staff, General Thomas (Slab) Murphy, waiting to be recovered, as does Whitey Bulger.

When the truth comes out about further duplicitious actions by the FBI,Gardner museum, TK, it will rock the feds, Mass Democrats, from top to bottom.

Democrats in Boston have been turning a blind eye to these actions for years and therefore the blame for collusion is a democratic shortcoming.

Mitt Rommny should investigate, round them up, and collar the lot, then use the exposure as a springboard for his 2008 Pres run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Calling them burglars is ra... (Below threshold)
Mac Lorry:

Calling them burglars is racist; these people are just undocumented owners ;-)

Undocumented owners???... (Below threshold)
Dr No:

Undocumented owners???

That proved fatal for those on the above post!!!!!!!!!!!!

With fine art, the ownership is only brief in historical terms.

This has been highlighted by the recent attempts to recover Nazi looted art.

That proved fatal ... (Below threshold)
Mac Lorry:
That proved fatal for those on the above post!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course I'm talking about Jay's piece with it’s lighthearted tone. Undocumented owner is a play on the term undocumented worker used by some to describe illegal aliens. I assumed I wouldn’t need to explain my quip in detail, but there’s always someone who doesn’t get it even when there’s a winking face ;-) tag.






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