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Naming names

An acquaintance of mine was agonizing over a new vacuum cleaner. More specifically, she is the type that needs to anthropomorphize everything, and apparently the poor thing needed a name. I promptly came up with three suggestions:

1) "Herbert."
B) "S.O.S.," or "Sultan Of Suck."
III) "Monica."

Anyone else got any bright ideas?

Comments (29)

She should have bought one ... (Below threshold)

She should have bought one of these. The anthropomorphising comes as part of the deal. ;-)

"Herbert" is no good since ... (Below threshold)

"Herbert" is no good since that was the insult used by the space hippies in that episode of the original Star Trek series.

Instead, I recommend H.E.R.B.I.E., the name of Mr. Fantastic's robot that replaced the Human Torch in the 1970s FF cartoon series.

She could call it troll. Tr... (Below threshold)

She could call it troll. Trolls definitely suck.

Sorry to post off topic but... (Below threshold)
Mr. Serious:

Sorry to post off topic but Just felt a mild earthquake here in Seoul Korea. This means that:

1) Korea just had a quake, which is really very rare.
2) Japan just had a pretty big quake (nothing up on the seismic pages yet)
3) KJI just popped another nuke (pretty unlikely) we didn't feel the last one.

Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Don't discount a fourth opt... (Below threshold)
Mr. Serious:

Don't discount a fourth option: Delirium Tremens.

The _______ power vacuum.. ... (Below threshold)
Steve Crickmore:

The _______ power vacuum.. You fill in the blanks! .. Pelosi? How bout 'The Bush/2007 power vacuum'?

How about:1. Ross ... (Below threshold)

How about:

1. Ross (You know..."giant sucking sound")
2. Ah-nuhld The Dirtinator (or just The Dirtinator)
3. The Republican 2008 Presidential list of choices. For obvious reasons.
4. V.I.N.C.E.N.T. (Robot from the book/movie The Black Hole)
5. Mustang Sally (Because I love the song)

Depending upon her politica... (Below threshold)

Depending upon her political persuasion:




Just call it the DNC. ... (Below threshold)

Just call it the DNC.

How about "Jimmy Carter?"</... (Below threshold)

How about "Jimmy Carter?"

I suggest "pucker puss" (le... (Below threshold)

I suggest "pucker puss" (lee lee)

H.R.Suckin'Stuff, Vacula, M... (Below threshold)

H.R.Suckin'Stuff, Vacula, Mikey ("he'll eat anything")

How about....."Bef... (Below threshold)

How about.....

"Before we got married"

Pornstar.... (Below threshold)


How about Jodi.Gave ... (Below threshold)

How about Jodi.
Gave the best head that I recall and to all my friends!

Hillary... (Below threshold)
Bill M:


Vacuum has 2 Us=W. Dubbyah... (Below threshold)

Vacuum has 2 Us=W. Dubbyah not such a bad name. 3 Us in Latin, now that U think about it. How 'bout Trippyuh?

I second "Hillary"... (Below threshold)
Bob Jones:

I second "Hillary"

let's see it sucks up dirt ... (Below threshold)

let's see it sucks up dirt and spits it back out in the same fashion over and over again.

how about the Media.

Tell her to buy a Dyson and... (Below threshold)

Tell her to buy a Dyson and the name will suddenly become unimportant even for your friend............


Nothing sucks like a Dyson, not the best marketing slogan, but it's true..........

how 'bout "jhow66 on his kn... (Below threshold)

how 'bout "jhow66 on his knees in the men's room on saturday night"?

"slingshot"? hmmm p'p' by a... (Below threshold)

"slingshot"? hmmm p'p' by another "sock". Only a queer could come up with that kind of response.

Nah Jhow66. Not all queers... (Below threshold)

Nah Jhow66. Not all queers are morons, nor all morons queer.
Tom: Maximilian is better. He was the evil robot that sucked into the hole. Vincent escaped.

Unmarried Woman... (Below threshold)
Dave G.:

Unmarried Woman

My wife bought a trashcan w... (Below threshold)

My wife bought a trashcan with an automaticlly opening lid. You hold your offering up to its electronic snout, and the maw gapes open to accept it. I've glued in some 'teeth' and named it 'Offler'.
Pratchet fans will understand.

I love my Dyson Animal (the... (Below threshold)

I love my Dyson Animal (the purple one). I have three cats, a Siberian, and a Shih Tzu. The Shih Tzu's the only one that doesn't shed.

I vote for Monica for the name... That's why Bubba went for her, Hillary wouldn't...

SCSI:Exactly! You... (Below threshold)


Exactly! You don't want a vacuum that sucks itself into oblivion! V.I.N.C.E.N.T. was the more useful one. (:-D)

Interesting thing about vac... (Below threshold)

Interesting thing about vaccums,

When they suck they don't suck
When they don't suck they suck

I don't know if this would ... (Below threshold)

I don't know if this would qualify, but my wife and I have an in-joke where whenever we come across something or someone that sucks in our opinion, we say they have (or it has) committed the "Hoover Maneuver."






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