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Act like you got a pair

I love the English language. it never ceases to amaze me how it works, and what sorts of things one can do with it. For example, just try explaining to a non-native speaker of English how the terms "overlook," "lookover," "look over," "see over" and "oversee" have totally different meanings and connotations.

Another fun word is "pair." It's a simple term, meaning two matching items. They don't even have to be the same thing, just complementary.

Or it can be a singular item.

A pair of pants, a pair of underwear, a pair of scissors.

I once had a bit of fun with that last one.

I dated a woman who didn't care for that term, so she would instruct her son to "go get her a scissor." After the umpteenth time of hearing that, I decided to act.

I found a pair of scissors that separated. (I can't believe that I paid over $6.00 for this cheap gag.) I smuggled them into her house, showed them to her son, and stashed them in her kitchen.

Shortly thereafter, she told him to "go get her a scissor." And the look on her face when he returned with exactly half a pair of scissors made that six bucks so, so worthwhile...


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Comments (10)

Jay,One of my favo... (Below threshold)
Dave A.:


One of my favorite words is "sesquipedalian." If you use it, you are it.

Jay, a very thoutful post, ... (Below threshold)

Jay, a very thoutful post, but you didn't address the burning question: why are panties a pair and a bra is a singular item?

Bo,If that's a 'bu... (Below threshold)
Sheik Yur Bouty:


If that's a 'burning' question, I'd say you've got bigger problems to worry about!

I don't want anything to do... (Below threshold)

I don't want anything to do with a woman who has got anything burning in her panties!

And my favorite, cleave, me... (Below threshold)

And my favorite, cleave, meaning to split apart or to join together.

If you want to make the pan... (Below threshold)

If you want to make the pants last,

make the jacket first.

Ah, yes. Trials tribulatio... (Below threshold)
Cousin Dave:

Ah, yes. Trials tribulations of people shorten English language by eliminating articles conjunctions.

Awsome gag Jay! Well worth... (Below threshold)

Awsome gag Jay! Well worth 6 bucks. : )

How about "hyperpolysyllabi... (Below threshold)

How about "hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianist"
for someone who enjoys using really long words.

(from http://www.worldwidewords.org/weirdwords/ww-ses1.htm)

If you should step out of t... (Below threshold)

If you should step out of the elevator and find yourself naked ... take two deep breaths.

Because then you will have a pair of pants.






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