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Where There's Smoke...

There's a reason why there are so many dumb criminals stories: it's because that, by and large, criminals are dumb. If they weren't so dumb, then they'd see just how dumb their actions were, and how likely the chances they'd get caught.

Witness one Alan Hernandez.

Alan is 18 and lives in Manchester, New Hampshire. He was quite enamored of a younger lady (age 14), and she apparently returned his feelings. Her family didn't approve, so the two figured they would present them with a fait accompli: he'd get her pregnant.

Well, her big brother reacted in a fairly typical big-brother fashion: he got mad as hell at Hernandez, and threatened him. Not a typical threat, though -- he said he'd report Hernandez as a likely illegal alien.

That sent Mr. Hernandez through the roof, and he responded by threatening to kill his lover's brother, even holding a knife over his head to his throat. (Always a great way to secure the affections of one's paramour -- didn't Charles Starkweather try something similar?) The girl's mother conned him into taking a ride to see the girl (she was with relatives) and instead turned him into the police.

Where he is now, facing charges of statutory rape, criminal threatening, and simple assault. There is no word on his immigration status, but considering his reaction to the brother's accusation, I suspect there is some substance to the charge.

"To live outside the law, you must be honest." A lesson Mr. Hernandez never learned.


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Comments (6)

Big props to Mom for findin... (Below threshold)

Big props to Mom for finding a clever way to defuse the situation and get that loser into police custody.

It will be interesting to see if that cat is illegal, or not.

I heard of a case of the IO... (Below threshold)
spurwing plover:

I heard of a case of the IOWA PORK QUEEN few years ago where animal rights wackos were protesting and one of them in a pig mask hit the pork queen in the face witha pie her brother belted the assalent in the face and the animal rights wacko ended up with a blody nose some missing teeth and ablack eye YEAH PETA JERKS STAY OUT OF IOWA OR ELSE

That story has all the maki... (Below threshold)

That story has all the makings of a Lifetime TV movie.

Just doing young ladies tha... (Below threshold)

Just doing young ladies that Americans won't do.

Where There's Smok... (Below threshold)
Where There's Smoke...

there's Tony Stewart.

Read about a real dumb crin... (Below threshold)
spurwing plover:

Read about a real dumb crinimal he was in jail and with $100:000 bail so he so he wrote a little thing where he had only $500 bail and asked a freind to fax it to the county court house unfortunatly he mispelled the name of the county so instead of having to pay $100:000 he has to pay $250:000 bail






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