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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

As part of a promotion by Denver Water to promote awareness of fixing running toilets, a running toilet is tackled by an unidentified security man during the fourth quarter of Colorado's 31-28 overtime victory over Colorado State in a football game in Denver on Saturday, Sept. 1, 2007. Denver Water is sponsoring several promotions around the city to promote water conservation. (AP Photo/David Zalubowski)

Winners will be announced Sunday.

Update: Winners announced. Click on the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed. A new edition of the Weekend Caption Contest™ will debut Friday morning.


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Comments (162)

Gotta go Gotta go Gotta go ... (Below threshold)

Gotta go Gotta go Gotta go Gotta go Gotta go Gotta go Gotta go Gotta go Gotta go Gotta go Gotta go Gotta go Right Now!


Uh...when I said let's go b... (Below threshold)

Uh...when I said let's go bowling....

That is the LAST time I dri... (Below threshold)

That is the LAST time I drink Tequila until dawn.

"Somebody stop him before t... (Below threshold)

"Somebody stop him before the sh*t hits a fan!"

"Man, and I thought that go... (Below threshold)

"Man, and I thought that goat mascot smelled bad..."

And there go Michigan's tit... (Below threshold)

And there go Michigan's title hopes - right down the crapper.

NEWSFLASH - Man in vicinity... (Below threshold)

NEWSFLASH - Man in vicinity of toilet and seat cover left DOWN! Video at 11...

Chuck Schumer showcases the... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Chuck Schumer showcases the latest democratic plans to clean up congress.

Senator Craig carrying a pr... (Below threshold)

Senator Craig carrying a present for his gay lover. ww

"Hey buddy. The that's not ... (Below threshold)

"Hey buddy. The that's not the flush handle." ww

Stop running, I'm the one w... (Below threshold)

Stop running, I'm the one with the runs...

BREAKING NEWS: FBI agents c... (Below threshold)

BREAKING NEWS: FBI agents capture fugitive Democratic fundraiser Norman Poo...


Just How long do you expect... (Below threshold)

Just How long do you expect your toilet to take all of your sh--, without a good cleaning. Use bowl so brite, and your toilet will always be there for you.

Police arrest senator disgu... (Below threshold)

Police arrest senator disguised as toilet in stadium men's room...

While some people genuflect... (Below threshold)

While some people genuflect to the porcelain goddess during times of heightened alcohol inebriation, the acid tripper just likes to make friends with her and then frolic with a good game of grab-ass.

Caller: My toilet keeps run... (Below threshold)

Caller: My toilet keeps running.
911: You need to call a plumber. I needs a new flapper val...
Caller: No! It actually runs around the house. Now it has gotten out into the street!
911: The toilet swat team is on its way.


Disguised as Clinton Campaign Official

BarneyGrumble is tackled wh... (Below threshold)

BarneyGrumble is tackled while trying to disrupt a comment thread at Wizbang.

It's one thing to have an o... (Below threshold)

It's one thing to have an opinion about Vick, but this goes too far!

The Raiders show why they h... (Below threshold)

The Raiders show why they have a crappy backfield this season.

Blind, horny bisexual male ... (Below threshold)

Blind, horny bisexual male reacts to foot tapping recently.

The Toilet Bowl Faerie was ... (Below threshold)

The Toilet Bowl Faerie was tackled by a Michigan security guard, but by then it was too late.

Coach demonstrates a crack-... (Below threshold)
Mark L:

Coach demonstrates a crack-bowl tackle.

What ever happened to the P... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

What ever happened to the Pillsbury Doughboy? He's all grown up, and his life is in the crapper.

Suspect captured in the Tid... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Suspect captured in the Tidy Bowl Man murder investigation. News at 11.

French foil planned bidet a... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

French foil planned bidet attack by radical Islamotoilet.

Toiletgate...monument to cl... (Below threshold)

Toiletgate...monument to closeted Repubnlicans

Ted Kennedy's toilet attemp... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Ted Kennedy's toilet attempts to flee country in act of desperation - says he "just couldn't take it anymore."

(Sing)It's time for ... (Below threshold)

It's time for a Consti-, consti-, constitutional.
It's so, it's so institutional.
Slightly, slightly air pollutional.
Oh no! It's a constitutional.

I am hot to squat.
I am in the mode to explode.
I am pumped to dump.
I got the hope to hang a rope.
I have the urge to purge.
I feel the pain to watch that choo-choo train.

The Grand Old Potty's new l... (Below threshold)

The Grand Old Potty's new logo after November 4,2008.

Toilet detained by Chuck Sc... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Toilet detained by Chuck Schumer in "Koran flush" incident.

The proper recepticle for a... (Below threshold)

The proper recepticle for a BACKFIELD BLITZ!

I saw his left hand waving ... (Below threshold)

I saw his left hand waving under the stall divider.

A flag is down; the play is... (Below threshold)
Senor Cardgage:

A flag is down; the play is called for unnecessary roughage.

Come back! I was only tryin... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Come back! I was only trying to demonstrate my "wide stance."

The Chicago White Sox (un)o... (Below threshold)

The Chicago White Sox (un)official mascot inadvertently shows up at the Iowa Hawkeyes-NIU game at Soldier Field. Having your vision obscured by a toilet tank can do that.

/ & yes, I am a White Sox fan. :(

A stadium guest became angr... (Below threshold)

A stadium guest became angry when the toilet took a wide stance.

Enough with the college bow... (Below threshold)

Enough with the college bowl games!

The new Nifong Award was co... (Below threshold)

The new Nifong Award was commissioned by the Duke Lacross players and designed by the TidyBowl man.

Democrats criticize Preside... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Democrats criticize President Bush for distracting Americans from the "real threat"; vow to arrest all toilets in violation of eco-friendly GPF regulations.

Looks like I hit a nerve. Y... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Looks like I hit a nerve. Yeah baby!

the shit is going down.... (Below threshold)

the shit is going down.

"Where's Jack Parr when I n... (Below threshold)
george marshall:

"Where's Jack Parr when I need him?

Michigan figures that if "T... (Below threshold)

Michigan figures that if "The Bus" could take the Steelers to a title, "The Porcelain Bus" can do the same for the Wolverines.

The Mummenschanz half-time ... (Below threshold)

The Mummenschanz half-time tribute to Larry Craig goes horribly awry.

Norman Hsu Arrested.... (Below threshold)

Norman Hsu Arrested.

Denver (AP) A tragedy was ... (Below threshold)

Denver (AP) A tragedy was narrowly averted today as alert security guard Al Kyder tackles a potential terrorist who ran onto the field during the CU game on Saturday. Reports say the terrorist was carrying a biological weapon in the form of drinking water from Mexico which he was planning to dump into the football teams Gatorade cooler.

Police are still questioning the suspect and plan on filing additional charges including "impersonation of a bathroom weapon of mass destruction" later today.

"Here comes the pressure...... (Below threshold)

"Here comes the pressure...Crapper is flushed out of the pocket...and dumped for a loss."

... when Immodium wears off... (Below threshold)

... when Immodium wears off.

"Okay, that's it for you, b... (Below threshold)

"Okay, that's it for you, buddy! I'm sticking this plunger where the sun don't shine!"

In response to Wizbang user... (Below threshold)

In response to Wizbang user complaints about the troll problem getting out of control, Kevin Aylward springs into action.

Brought down just 4 yards s... (Below threshold)

Brought down just 4 yards shy of the fan

Coach: OK team, let me demo... (Below threshold)

Coach: OK team, let me demonstrate how I think your tackling lately has been so crappy.

Man, I hate getting the run... (Below threshold)

Man, I hate getting the runs in public!

Who does number two work fo... (Below threshold)

Who does number two work for?

Norman Hsu's disappearing a... (Below threshold)

Norman Hsu's disappearing act takes a dump.

After a "wardrobe malfuncti... (Below threshold)

After a "wardrobe malfunction", the Tydee bowl man yelled "Jiggle the Handle"! Security responded quickly.

If you don't jiggle the han... (Below threshold)

If you don't jiggle the handle, the toilet will run all day!

"Hey, he had a potty mouth.... (Below threshold)

"Hey, he had a potty mouth. I was just doing my dootie."

A new version of the "strea... (Below threshold)

A new version of the "streaking" phenomenon. The "Skid Mark".

Could someone grab the big ... (Below threshold)

Could someone grab the big white telephone, please?

"Hail! Hail! to Michig---aw... (Below threshold)

"Hail! Hail! to Michig---aw, crap."

Hsu nabbed in Colorado ... (Below threshold)

Hsu nabbed in Colorado

In a twist on the college b... (Below threshold)
No One of Consequence:

In a twist on the college bowl scene, the NCAA announces the "Denver Water Toilet Bowl", which will feature two teams whose seasons have been "in the crapper"

Campus medics in a desperat... (Below threshold)

Campus medics in a desperate attempt to save the Ty-D-Bowl man after a fraternity pledge spiked the toilet water with human growth hormones.

Down goes Hillary!... (Below threshold)

Down goes Hillary!

Down goes Hillary!

Congress finally outlaws in... (Below threshold)

Congress finally outlaws installing older toilets that actually work. Enforcement from the Federal Bureau of Nannies employ tough enforcement measures.

Fan promotion idea for the ... (Below threshold)

Fan promotion idea for the American Standard Bowl - "One lucky home renovator will have a chance to win during the halftime show! Catch the runaway toilet in under 30 seconds and win an outlawed full-flow toilet!"

Incident at Flushing Meadow... (Below threshold)
Norm F.:

Incident at Flushing Meadows - Alleged government leaker Loo Latrine caught by F.B.I. agent Rusty Pipes during game between the Roto Rooters and the Septic Tanks.

Harry Ried attempts to rais... (Below threshold)

Harry Ried attempts to raise his approval numbers from their current level.

Not only is he still alive,... (Below threshold)

Not only is he still alive, but Abe Vigoda can still make an open field toilet tackle that would make Mike Ditka proud.

Hey, where ya goin'? I got... (Below threshold)

Hey, where ya goin'? I gotta take a wicked Wizbang!

It must be Bush's fault.</p... (Below threshold)

It must be Bush's fault.

Some people call it a john,... (Below threshold)

Some people call it a john, other people call it a toilet bowl. I call it a john, mmmmpHmmmmmp. Anyhow, I had too many of them french fried pataters and biscuits and don't care what ya call it, I need it right quick, I reckon, mmmmpHmmmmmp.

Crapper Grappler.... (Below threshold)

Crapper Grappler.

While many feel that academ... (Below threshold)

While many feel that academic and athletic standards in Colorado are slipping, the new mascot designed to raise awareness was not a success.

Following Fred's lead, John... (Below threshold)

Following Fred's lead, John Thompson also decides to make a run for it.

Now there's a shitty job...... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Now there's a shitty job....

On the very next play, he h... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

On the very next play, he horse-collared the septic tank for a loss.

"...and he's down at the 5!... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

"...and he's down at the 5! The ball is loose!...Wait! That's not the ball..."

A new throne being delivere... (Below threshold)

A new throne being delivered to Coach Lloyd Carr after Michigan's loss to ASU.

Purdue University's new mas... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Purdue University's new mascot, "P.U."

After the tackle, the gentl... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

After the tackle, the gentleman asked if he could borrow a magazine and wasn't seen for the next 20 minutes.

The best seat in the house ... (Below threshold)

The best seat in the house goes prime time.

As Larry finally nabbed the... (Below threshold)

As Larry finally nabbed the runaway crapper and the bowl divulged its contents, a thought flashed across his mind, "Tackling a full toilet? What WAS I thinking?"

Wife: "How was your day, ho... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Wife: "How was your day, honey?"

Man: "Oh, the boss just had me tackle some crappy job today..."

The ball in the toilet fake... (Below threshold)

The ball in the toilet fake draws the defense.

Joe, the lowest man on the ... (Below threshold)

Joe, the lowest man on the security force totem pole, wondered angrily to himself why he was always the one catching the sh*t around here.

Abigail wins!... (Below threshold)

Abigail wins!

Succumbing to his wife's co... (Below threshold)

Succumbing to his wife's complaints, Joe finally tackled the leaky toilet in the downstairs bathroom.

Crowd: "RUN FLUSHER, RUN!!!... (Below threshold)

Crowd: "RUN FLUSHER, RUN!!!"

The consensus was that Ron ... (Below threshold)

The consensus was that Ron Paul won the debate.

Terry Tate, Security Lineba... (Below threshold)

Terry Tate, Security Linebacker: "AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!! That TV Timeout was over 10 minutes ago. JOHN!!! WHOOOOOO!!!"

These half-time shows are g... (Below threshold)

These half-time shows are getting weirder every year.

One of the many highlights ... (Below threshold)

One of the many highlights from the 2006 Stanford Marching Band awards ceremony.

Shyster Shitter, Fitter ... (Below threshold)

Shyster Shitter, Fitter Fetter

Tony Dungy's first commerci... (Below threshold)

Tony Dungy's first commercial appearance for Dulcolax, "You too can tackle constipation".

Frustrated with his team mi... (Below threshold)

Frustrated with his team missing the top spot in the poll for another week, the team's mascot runs out to the field in fit of rage yelling, "#2 ain't shit! #2 ain't shit!".

"An unidentified man preven... (Below threshold)

"An unidentified man prevents the Democrats' best ideas from escaping."

This is not what Mohammed e... (Below threshold)
Vegas Vic:

This is not what Mohammed envisioned when he volunteered to become a martyr.

A predictable outcome as ev... (Below threshold)

A predictable outcome as everyone wanted to be the first to purches Apple's new "Itoilet".

A Mpls undercover sting net... (Below threshold)

A Mpls undercover sting net's one shitty comode complete with it's own lefty senator.

The democrap presidential f... (Below threshold)

The democrap presidential field has a new more qualified frontrunner.

Eventually, somebody will j... (Below threshold)
Nony Mouse:

Eventually, somebody will just get sick of this kind of crap.

The Charmin, you idiot! Yo... (Below threshold)

The Charmin, you idiot! You're supposed to squeeze the tiolet tissue, not the toilet!

Dennis Kucinich tries to fi... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Dennis Kucinich tries to find out where his Presidential aspirations have gone.

Tackling those bottom of th... (Below threshold)

Tackling those bottom of the bowl rust stains.

Crowds pushed and shoved to... (Below threshold)

Crowds pushed and shoved to get the new American Standard toilet, now with automatic wiping hands.

John Edwards tackles the Hi... (Below threshold)
retired military:

John Edwards tackles the Hillary operative, who disguissed as a toilet, stole the hairpiece from his bathroom.

So that is what the democra... (Below threshold)
retired military:

So that is what the democratic party meant when they said that they had a JOHN in serious running for the President.

The Crapper was arrested by... (Below threshold)

The Crapper was arrested by Inspector Clouseau, an Officer of the Loo

Bush, Bush no not on the Ja... (Below threshold)

Bush, Bush no not on the Japanese Prime Minister!

How fitting... for a field ... (Below threshold)

How fitting... for a field awash in yellow.

Now THAT's gonna leave a ma... (Below threshold)

Now THAT's gonna leave a mark!

1)Captain Tidybowl battles ... (Below threshold)

1)Captain Tidybowl battles the evil Potty Man.

2) China unveils the newest Olympic event, porcelain wrestling.

3)Q. What did the toilet bowl say to the garbage man?
A. I've seen more cans than you!

guido #74: Were you channe... (Below threshold)

guido #74: Were you channeling Woody Hayes?

If you think that the team'... (Below threshold)
Dodo David:

If you think that the team's mascot is weird, then you should see the team's cheerleaders.

Urlacher flushes the Quarte... (Below threshold)

Urlacher flushes the Quarterback out of the pocket.

Michael Strahan demonstrate... (Below threshold)

Michael Strahan demonstrates his open field tackling skills to Jets coaching staff in Flushing.

The big problem with those ... (Below threshold)

The big problem with those free range toilets is ya gotta catch 'em.

DRUDGEBREAKING: Scandal rei... (Below threshold)

DRUDGEBREAKING: Scandal reignited. Larry Craig tackles Idaho HS football team mascot -- The Crapper. Craig quoted as saying, "I didn't tap on his floor, I only wanted to bang on his pipes."

AP BREAKING: Greenpeace ope... (Below threshold)

AP BREAKING: Greenpeace operative apprehends toilet that is obviously not the 1.6 gallon per flush variety. John Edwards claims all 14 toilets in his mansion are the 1.6 GPF type. Al Gore states he invented the 1.6 GPF toilet.

When Earl said he wanted to... (Below threshold)

When Earl said he wanted to take a sh*t, that wasn't what I thought me meant.

The only witness in the Cra... (Below threshold)

The only witness in the Craig matter refuses to testify.

Larry Craig make's an open ... (Below threshold)

Larry Craig make's an open field tackle at the "Tidy Bowl" named in His honor.

Barrack Obama tackles Chuck... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Barrack Obama tackles Chuck Hagel stating "We need you" after Mr Hagel announced he will retire from the Senate and then tried to leave the building in disguise.

Another Republican stops De... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Another Republican stops Democrats from serving excrement sandwiches.

Please obtain excretorial c... (Below threshold)

Please obtain excretorial confluency

The tackler was immediately... (Below threshold)

The tackler was immediately beheaded by an over-imbibing fundamentalist sect that worships the Porcelain Idol

An Obama campaign staffer t... (Below threshold)

An Obama campaign staffer tackles the nemesis of where Barack's campaign is headed due to his foreign policy statements.

Sen. Craig was hoping he wo... (Below threshold)

Sen. Craig was hoping he wouldn't be recognized in the new duds.

Jay Tea demonstrates the ne... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Jay Tea demonstrates the new Wizbang policy for Left Wing Trolls.

The new Michigan uniforms p... (Below threshold)

The new Michigan uniforms proved to be prophetic.

Berkeley's annual Running o... (Below threshold)

Berkeley's annual Running of the Liberals always brings out the tourists.

(toilet) "Come on, put up y... (Below threshold)

(toilet) "Come on, put up yer dookies!"

Better dream sequences, ... (Below threshold)

Better dream sequences, that's why "The Twilight Zone" was better than "The Outer Limits".

Proof positive why, Lord of... (Below threshold)

Proof positive why, Lord of the Rings: The Poos' Power, "tanked".

These two are clearly in th... (Below threshold)

These two are clearly in the tank for water conservation.

"I just said, 'Wanna see my... (Below threshold)

"I just said, 'Wanna see my scrubbing bubbles?', and BAM, it took off."

Sen. Craigs' favorite wet d... (Below threshold)

Sen. Craigs' favorite wet dream.

Homosexual ? No. But, did b... (Below threshold)

Homosexual ? No. But, did bone white porcelain make him hot ? You betcha!

"There I was, mindin' my ow... (Below threshold)

"There I was, mindin' my own business, and this Senator says he wants to take a crap in me! So I booked it outta there."

#1 in the series,"Liberal R... (Below threshold)

#1 in the series,"Liberal Reworkings of Bad 70s Books": Jonathan Livingston Crapper

"#2" in the series: Everyth... (Below threshold)

"#2" in the series: Everything You Wanted to Know About 'Pinching a Loaf', but were Afraid to Ask

Tickets to Appalachian Stat... (Below threshold)

Tickets to Appalachian State: $50. Tickets to Oregon: $75. An opportunity to tackle the icon that represents your season: Priceless.

"You damn, stinking, dirty ... (Below threshold)

"You damn, stinking, dirty crappers!"
Edited scene from "Planet of the Crappers!"

"I am not a human being! I'... (Below threshold)

"I am not a human being! I'm a toilet!"

Other famous movie lines:"F... (Below threshold)

Other famous movie lines:"Frankly Mr. Craig, I don't give a crap!"

"Why dontcha come up and, crap on me sometime ?"

"Just put your cheeks together and push. You know how to push don't you ?"

"Hold on folks, it's going to be a dumpy ride!"

"You can't handle the poop!"

"I'll be back...I had lunch at Dennys'."

"My precious!"

"Wait a minute! Wait a minute! You aint flushed nothin' yet!"

"Here's dumpin' on you kid."

"Jiggle it again Sam."

Newly-appointed EPA Adminis... (Below threshold)

Newly-appointed EPA Administrator, Sheryl Crow, hit the ground running this week by announcing a nationwide crackdown -- Code Name: Operation One-Sheet. Undercover poolicemen were instructed to roundup all material witnesses.

JOHN: No no senator! I said... (Below threshold)

JOHN: No no senator! I said defacate! not irrigate!

"What's that smell?"... (Below threshold)
Rachel Edith:

"What's that smell?"

Strange. I could have swor... (Below threshold)

Strange. I could have sworn Bowl Games are played after the regular season.

It looked like a sure touch... (Below threshold)

It looked like a sure touchdown, but at about the 10 there was nothing left in the tank.

Toto, we're not in the bath... (Below threshold)
sixpercent Author Profile Page:

Toto, we're not in the bathroom anymore!

(Toto is a company that makes toilets, very good ones. http://www.totousa.com/index.asp)

Now that's what I call bein... (Below threshold)

Now that's what I call being flushed out of the pocket!

It is turd down and poo fro... (Below threshold)

It is turd down and poo from the shitsteen yardline for the delta flusher's.

Cheryl Crowe's number 1 fan... (Below threshold)
reatired military:

Cheryl Crowe's number 1 fan shows the lengths he is willing to go to impress her.


The head of the UNs latest global warming group People Opposing Toilets (AKA P.O.Ts) stars in the latest ad campaign to highlight the dangers to the environment of using more than 1 square of toilet paper.

Senator Craig playing Scate... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Senator Craig playing Scategories tries to out act the song "50 ways to leave your lover"

With two losses, Michigan i... (Below threshold)

With two losses, Michigan is headed for the Tidy Bowl Game.

"Who's the U-Boat commander... (Below threshold)

"Who's the U-Boat commander?"

"Stop with the potty mouth ... (Below threshold)

"Stop with the potty mouth or I'll kick the crap out of you!"

Update: <a href="ht... (Below threshold)
Kevin Author Profile Page:

Update: Winners announced. Click on the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed. A new edition of the Weekend Caption Contest™ will debut Friday morning.






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