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Well, That About Wraps It Up For God (And Politics)

I've often cited P. J. O'Rourke's "Parliament Of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts To Explain The Entire U. S. Government" as one of the greatest influences on my political beliefs. With DJ's piece yesterday, I'm starting to wonder if I'm not the only Wizbanger who can say that.

DJ wrote "The God Who Votes." PJ's Preface to "Parliament Of Whores" is titled "Why God Is A Republican and Why Santa Claus Is A Democrat." I'm going to quote a bit of that here, as a sort-of response to DJ's piece:

But although this is a conservative book, it is not informed by any very elaborate political theory. I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is that God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat.

God is an elderly or, at any rate, a middle-aged male, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men strictly accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well-being of the disadvantaged. He is politically connected, socially powerful and literally holds the mortgage on everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God's heavenly country club.

Santa Claus is another matter. He's cute. He's nonthreatening. He's always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who's been naughty and who's been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without thought of a quid pro quo. He works hard for charities, and he's famously generous to the poor. Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus.

I know it's odd for a declared agnostic like me to so favorably quote something that affirms the existence of God, but that pretty much sums it up. Well, that and a couple other PJ quotes, conveniently put on the back of my copy of Parliament Of Whores:

Democrats are... the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, taller, and get the chickweed out of your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government can't work, and then they get elected and prove it.

And this one says it all:

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
(Got your copy yet, Oyster?)


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Comments (16)

Actually, over the last 12 ... (Below threshold)

Actually, over the last 12 years the GOP has managed to be more like the boozed up adolescent driver mentioned above: fiscally irresponsible--handing out tax cuts willy-nilly AND expanding government faster than any dem in the recent memory, ballooning the federal deficit, and generally acting irresponsibly and petty. The uber-Santa Claus of all time.

I mean, what a shame for one party to hold both houses and the presidency for so long and to just make a joke of the genuine gains of the Gingrich revolution and make so few real gains.

By the O'Rourke description above, God is not a Republican--sober, rational, accountable, fiscally responsible, forward looking.

We must continue or search for political God, it seems.

Sadly, I must agree with Ri... (Below threshold)

Sadly, I must agree with Rick. Although in this age of victimhood and distain for having to face the consequences of one's own actions, perhaps this explains why God seems so unpopular.

PJ and Mark Twain are favor... (Below threshold)

PJ and Mark Twain are favorite authors of all time. It's hard for me to read one of his book's without laughing out loud.
Holidays in Hell and CEO of the Sofa are two that come right to mind in that vein.

And Parliament of Whores is a classic for its accurate depiction of government and ought to be a must-read for college students- or any students for that matter.

He and I are of a similar mind.

Now I need to go mix that drink.....

Now I need to go m... (Below threshold)
Now I need to go mix that drink.....

A little early, but I'll drink to that. Try my Geriatric Screwdriver:

1 oz. vodka
6 oz. water
1 Tablespoon orange flavored Metamucil

Two or three of those in the morning should get things movin'.

Okay, weird. I was just lo... (Below threshold)

Okay, weird. I was just looking at the cover of the book (it was at the front door when I got home from work last night) and how odd it is that Jay posts about it again this morning :) Then I read to the end of the post.

Rick K: we see that and we understand that they have essentially tossed their principles out the window. But they didn't do it alone.

While the Democrats have bitterly complained over and over out one side of their mouth that Republicans have "cut funding" for this or that social program (when indeed we usually find that it wasn't cut, it was just not expanded as much as the Democrats wanted), out of the other side of their mouth they complain about the Republicans over-spending.

The Democrats are just as complicit in the spending. They simply used the opportunity to blame it all on Republicans because they held a majority.

Don't get me wrong. The Republicans have their own bloated programs for which they are responsible. This is nothing more that an in-fighting issue and a race to prove who is the more compassionate. All at our expense.

They all forgot to ask us.

So what, Rick, does Reid sa... (Below threshold)

So what, Rick, does Reid say when Bush vetoes the biggest expansion of socialized medical care since 1993? "Bush abandons children". Sure, there's a problem, but think how Republicans would be demonized had they resisted mightily all that expansion of the government. You want to chastise Republicans? Start with Democrats.

Besides, we know your tears are crocodilian.

I know it's odd fo... (Below threshold)
I know it's odd for a declared agnostic like me to so favorably quote something that affirms the existence of God
In exactly the same way that it affirms the existence of Santa Claus.
What was that about taking ... (Below threshold)

What was that about taking responsibility? It is always someone else's fault when it comes to the Republicans. Here is another example courtesy of oyster:

"The Democrats are just as complicit in the spending. They simply used the opportunity to blame it all on Republicans because they held a majority."

LOVE PJ - Especially "Parli... (Below threshold)

LOVE PJ - Especially "Parliament of Whores". Also Mark Twain. I have to add one more writer who slays me - in fact I just picked up an older book of his from the library yesterday, and he's had me in stitches ever since: Dave Barry.

Jay Tea, I use a similar analogy (regarding teenage boys, whiskey and car keys) when I tell parents that having a kid in a room with a closed door and internet access is even scarier than giving them a loaded gun and a bottle of booze. I have several variations on this, but they all scare the piss out of the parents, which is important. At least it stops the "Well, MY little Johnny would NEVER do a google search for 'boobs'..."

...that 'boobs' story is tr... (Below threshold)

...that 'boobs' story is true, by the way.... and Little Johnny was guilty.

"Giving money and power to ... (Below threshold)

"Giving money and power to Government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."

Or a Kennedy!

Ambrose Bierce is my favori... (Below threshold)

Ambrose Bierce is my favorite, and of his, 'Chickamauga'. Well worth a read, Rick et al; it is short.

Parliment... should ... (Below threshold)

Parliment... should be required reading in college government classes. Particular attention should be paid to "Would You Kill Your Mother To Pave I-95?" and "Agricultural Policy: How To Tell Your Ass From This Particular Hole In The Ground". (I wounder if that federal Mohair program is still around?)

Another O'Rourke work that deserves "required reading" status is Holidays In Hell. Particularly "The Holyland - God's Monkey House" and "Among The Euro-Weenies" P.J.'s clarity is summing things up is usually dead-on.

So what, Rick, does Reid say... (Below threshold)
So what, Rick, does Reid say

Reid? Find Reid anywhere in the post above. What are you talking about? The quote was from PJ O'Rourke.

You want to chastise Republicans? Start with Democrats.

Huh? I seem to remember pay as you go during the Clinton years, thanks to Newt and the revolution. It wasn't the Dems that ditched pay as you go. In the last 12 years the Republicans invented away to both cut taxes AND give everyone they wanted by just putting it on the debt (as long as they were GOP, of course).

Bush pushed through the largest expansion ever of Medicare with the Rx Benefit, 100% put on the national debt and completely unsustainable at current revenues.

I used to be afraid of tax and spend Democrats, but that was before they invented borrow and spend Republicans.

At least the Dems had a system at least had a chance of being fiscally responsible.

BTW, if you do the math, every living citizen--children, too--owes the federal government $435,000.00.

Hey the health freaks are a... (Below threshold)
Spurwing Plover:

Hey the health freaks are already after santa they want him to slim down and give up his pipe and they urge kids to leave him apples or carrots i mean these wheat germ inhaling wackos just never end do they? SCREW THE HEALTH FREAKS SANTA FEEDS HIS REINDEER ON CARROTS AND APPLES

Seems obvious to me that JT... (Below threshold)

Seems obvious to me that JT's last quote applies equally to donkeys and elephants, but it seems some of the pre-adolescent probably XY genotypes didn't fathom that subtlety.






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