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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Republican presidential hopeful, Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., adjusts his collar after telling a joke while speaking at a GOP dinner Thursday, Feb. 7, 2008, in Halethorpe, Md. (AP Photo/Rob Carr)

Winners will be announced Monday morning.

Update: Winners announced. Click on the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed, but a new edition of the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™ will debut Friday morning.


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Comments (106)

{Burp!} Nothing like the ta... (Below threshold)

{Burp!} Nothing like the taste of Romney in the morning...

Excuse me, I've got another... (Below threshold)

Excuse me, I've got another conservative caught in my throat.

"Never give a sucker an eve... (Below threshold)

"Never give a sucker an even break, and you can't cheat an honest man..."

yup, yup, yup took care of ... (Below threshold)

yup, yup, yup took care of another one....

My God, McCain is the reinc... (Below threshold)

My God, McCain is the reincarnation of WC Fields!

"Five will get you ten, ten will get you twenty, beer flowing through the estate over your grandmother's paisley shawl..."

"I'd rather have two girls of 21 each, than one girl of 42!"

"I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast."

"She drove me to drink, it's the one thing I'm indebted to her for."

Just because I was for amne... (Below threshold)
Jim in Cleveland:

Just because I was for amnesty, curtailing freedom of speech, and closing Gitmo, I get no respect. No respect at all!

Pull my finger.... (Below threshold)

Pull my finger.

No repect, I tell ya. No re... (Below threshold)

No repect, I tell ya. No respect.

My immigrant workers? They're trying to deport me!

No respect.

Known for poking his finger... (Below threshold)
Jim in Cleveland:

Known for poking his finger into conservative's eyes, McCain pokes himself in the throat.

Oswald Cobblepot plans for ... (Below threshold)

Oswald Cobblepot plans for the demise of his arch enemy... Batman.

"I will not loose my temper... (Below threshold)

"I will not loose my temper" "I will not loose my temper" "I will not loose my temper..."

What color is that tie, Joh... (Below threshold)

What color is that tie, John?

"Marxist red..."

"...'cause I'm a wiiiill... (Below threshold)

"...'cause I'm a wiiiillld and craazzzeeee guy!"

People are horrified as McC... (Below threshold)

People are horrified as McCain demonstrates how tough he is by giving himself a tracheotomy using just his finger. ww

And I was lying about amnes... (Below threshold)

And I was lying about amnesty before any of my competitors lied about amnesty...

And as President, I'll reac... (Below threshold)

And as President, I'll reach across the aisle to my democratic colleagues to pass a campaign finance, anti-blogger law, so I'll never have to listen to you assholes again...

Riiiiiiiicoooooolaaaaa... (Below threshold)


I like to announce my new V... (Below threshold)

I like to announce my new Vice Presidential running mate: Al Franken!

John McCain misses his eye ... (Below threshold)

John McCain misses his eye as he demonstrates where he likes to poke conservatives.

Since when did Republicans ... (Below threshold)

Since when did Republicans let he New York Times select their candidates?

Weekend At Bernie's Part 3 ... (Below threshold)

Weekend At Bernie's Part 3 - Staring John McCain

John McCain hopes to distra... (Below threshold)

John McCain hopes to distract attention from the alien growing on the side of his face by sticking his finger into his throat.

Conservatives using Gunnery... (Below threshold)

Conservatives using Gunnery Sergeant Hartman's voice from "Full Metal Jacket":

"Now choke yourself, goddamn it with my hand num nuts"

♬I'm strong... (Below threshold)

I'm strong to the finish,
cause I eats me spinach,
I'm Popcheek the liberal guy

yuk yuk yuk yuk

John "Pinocchio" McCain: hi... (Below threshold)

John "Pinocchio" McCain: his left cheek bulges whenever he adopts liberal positions.

John, buddy, what the hell ... (Below threshold)

John, buddy, what the hell is wrong with that left cheek of yours?

It's starting to swell more than a Hillary ankle!

You considered covering that thing with a pantsuit?

I guess we should've taken ... (Below threshold)

I guess we should've taken that right turn toward Prosperity...

Romney Schomney... (Below threshold)

Romney Schomney

East Coast Posseeeee!!!<br ... (Below threshold)

East Coast Posseeeee!!!

Nothin' like a nice chaw of... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Nothin' like a nice chaw off a plug of tobackee.

Dick Cheney finds McCain's ... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Dick Cheney finds McCain's lack of faith disturbing.

Blow Rush Limbo, never! I'd... (Below threshold)

Blow Rush Limbo, never! I'd go back to Nam first.

Even Senator McCain hes tro... (Below threshold)

Even Senator McCain hes trouble swallowing his own bull$hit.

"Unable to adequately impre... (Below threshold)

"Unable to adequately impress the CPAC audience, McCain realized that it was time to try the most daring move of all: To reveal his secret, superpower identity.

He didn't have a phone both, but now wasn't the time for pleasantries. Reaching for his collar, he knew this would be a moment that would live forever."


"No ticket."

The Senator's throat began ... (Below threshold)

The Senator's throat began to constrict in an apparent allergic reaction when he attempted to sound like a conservative.

Senator McCain was unaware ... (Below threshold)

Senator McCain was unaware the mike was on as we did his voice exercises


"I'm a true Reagani-"</i... (Below threshold)
DJ Drummond:

"I'm a true Reagani-"






I'll make them an offer the... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

I'll make them an offer they can't refuse.

I work my whole life, I don... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

I work my whole life, I don't apologize to take care of my family. And I refused to be a fool dancing on the strings held by all of those big shots. I don't apologize for that. That's my life. But I always thought that when it was your time that you would be the one to hold the strings.

I am the conserv... AhhUm. ... (Below threshold)

I am the conserv... AhhUm. I am the conerva... AhhUhm AhhUhmm. By God I am the conservat... Ack! AhhUm. Ack!

Golly, this Republican Red-... (Below threshold)

Golly, this Republican Red-State Tie is too restrictive - it's making it hard for me to turn left.

Unfortunately for all in at... (Below threshold)

Unfortunately for all in attendance, John had a vast repertoire of Vogon poetry.

"And it's about time for th... (Below threshold)
Mark L:

"And it's about time for the fat lady to sing. . ."

I Yam what I Yam!... (Below threshold)

I Yam what I Yam!

D*mn shock collar! I've got... (Below threshold)

D*mn shock collar! I've got to stop turning to the left.

"Chew MAIL POUCH Treat your... (Below threshold)
Howie Felterbush:

"Chew MAIL POUCH Treat yourself to the best."

Separated at Birth -- Alfre... (Below threshold)

Separated at Birth -- Alfred E. and John Sidney -- What we worry?

There is something about a ... (Below threshold)

There is something about a liar that is distasteful.

I'm John Ke...GAAAK,,,Ahem.... (Below threshold)

I'm John Ke...GAAAK,,,Ahem...I'm John McCain and I am reporting for doody.

Skoal... (Below threshold)
Lindy R. Dole:


I'd still rather see that f... (Below threshold)

I'd still rather see that for four years than Hillary

What have I ever done to ma... (Below threshold)

What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd come to me in friendship, then this scum that is ruining our country would be suffering this very day. And if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you.
Romney's a pimp. He never could've out fought Hillary. But I didn't know until this day that it was Limbaugh all along. Now, as for Rush, I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse.

My family name wasn't alway... (Below threshold)

My family name wasn't always McCain.

It used to be Hfuhruhurr, but no one could pronounce it correctly.

Las Vegas is calling!... (Below threshold)

Las Vegas is calling!

Pull my ding-a-ling... (Below threshold)

Pull my ding-a-ling

Nice job Huckabee! now the ... (Below threshold)

Nice job Huckabee! now the right side needs a buff job.

Fred Thompson off camera: ... (Below threshold)

Fred Thompson off camera: "I find your lack of conservatism disturbing."

John McCain desperately tri... (Below threshold)

John McCain desperately tries to pull himself to the right against his natural leftward lean, evidenced by the obvious (leftward-pulling) facial symptoms.

"Excuse My leftist tic.."</... (Below threshold)

"Excuse My leftist tic.."

~And You follow til Your se... (Below threshold)
Al 914 Stewart:

~And You follow til Your sense of which direction completely disappears~

The Year of the Rat

"Go away Mit, you bother me... (Below threshold)

"Go away Mit, you bother me!"

Rodney Dangerfield - reload... (Below threshold)
Vegas Vic:

Rodney Dangerfield - reloaded!

Ann Coulter: "I find your l... (Below threshold)
kbiel Author Profile Page:

Ann Coulter: "I find your lack of faith disturbing."

Mitt Romney: "Enough of this. Ann release him!"

Ann Coulter: "As you wish."

Some claim Bush is dumb, we... (Below threshold)
Mac Lorry:

Some claim Bush is dumb, well here's dumber.

"Whare's dat wascally wabbi... (Below threshold)

"Whare's dat wascally wabbitt"

McCain at CPAC: "Excuse me ... (Below threshold)

McCain at CPAC: "Excuse me I just thew-up a little in my mouth".

I what? I won? You're kid... (Below threshold)

I what? I won? You're kidding right? Is it hot in here?

"I made Mitt an offer he ca... (Below threshold)

"I made Mitt an offer he can't refuse..."

Instructions1.) Pu... (Below threshold)


1.) Push red button.

2.) Recite rino talking points.

3.) Pretend to care and reach out.

4.) Confer with illegals representative Hernandez on how to grant amnesty.

5.) Further restrict free speech to insure rino control in future elections.

6.) Go out to lunch with Al Gore,George Soros, Bono and Sean Penn to discuss "Gorebal Warming" the plight of the African people and legalizing pot Nationwide..

GetOnb... (Below threshold)


"Rocky's REALLY mad now."</... (Below threshold)

"Rocky's REALLY mad now."

As McCain gave the universa... (Below threshold)

As McCain gave the universal choking sign, conservatives in the audience feigned ignorance of the 'Good Samaritan' laws that absolved them from liability when administering the Heimlich Maneuver.

John McCain suddenly realiz... (Below threshold)
Jason Author Profile Page:

John McCain suddenly realizes that his secret earpiece wire (as previously worn by President Bush) has rebelled and is starting to choke him to death.

Ever get that feeling Your ... (Below threshold)

Ever get that feeling Your right hand wants to kill You?

"Mmph mm mphhh mmmm..." (Tr... (Below threshold)

"Mmph mm mphhh mmmm..." (Translation: "I will do a lot to sway you conservatives, but I have my principles; I don't swallow.")

~~~~~¡Maldito que ... (Below threshold)


¡Maldito que era cercano! Ahora todo que tengo que hacer es convencen a los conservadores soy verdadero.


Damn that was close! Now all I need to do is convince the conservatives I'm real.

"John, you didn't throw up ... (Below threshold)

"John, you didn't throw up in front of the conservatives. You threw up on the conservatives."

Folks I'm pretty certain yo... (Below threshold)

Folks I'm pretty certain you're not supposed to form the circular firing squad until after the election

"Ann Ann let go with the Je... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"Ann Ann let go with the Jedi mind trick"

McCain tries to loosen the ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

McCain tries to loosen the Conservative Garrotte while Rush says "Not so fast Juan, the election isnt over with yet"

"and folks here we are on e... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"and folks here we are on election night, John McCain is giving his acceptance speech. He takes a drink of water graciously handed to him by his defeated rival Hillary. He starts to speak and, and .. Uh oh whats that? McCain goes down McCain goes down, And is that Hillary I see behind him with a bottle of arsenic in her hand."

John McCain speaking at the... (Below threshold)
retired military:

John McCain speaking at the DNC. " Damn that CPAC speech is hard to swallow"

Pretty hard to lie under pr... (Below threshold)
Dave W:

Pretty hard to lie under pressure

No more waterboarding at CP... (Below threshold)
Gitmo Mo:

No more waterboarding at CPAC

DAMN! That lie didn't go ov... (Below threshold)

DAMN! That lie didn't go over too well!

I'm old I tell ya, Old! Why... (Below threshold)

I'm old I tell ya, Old! Why my Social Security Card is a rock with a fraction on it! I don't get no respect.

Looks like I picked the wro... (Below threshold)

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit pandering.

So I was drivin' down my st... (Below threshold)

So I was drivin' down my street and I sees Joe Lieberman jogging nude. I says, "Do you always do that?" and he says, "Only when you come home early." So I goes home and when I enters my house my Parrot says, "Quick, out the window."

So, if I wet my finger and ... (Below threshold)

So, if I wet my finger and stick it in my tracheotomy hole and blow, I can make farty noises. That totally grosses out Mom.

The joke's on us!... (Below threshold)

The joke's on us!

I can't believe they're act... (Below threshold)

I can't believe they're actually buying any of this!

[in a thought bubble above his head]

Cue Marlon Brando Godfather... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Cue Marlon Brando Godfather voice

"As for Huckabee, why I made him an offer he cant refuse"

" I said that he had a ches... (Below threshold)
linda Tarricone:

" I said that he had a cheshire grin, not I'll let all the mexicans in".

"....and only slightly less... (Below threshold)

"....and only slightly less well known, never go in against a Scotsman when death or taxes are on the line."

John McCain begins to know ... (Below threshold)
reitred military:

John McCain begins to know how the Patriots feel. (*choke*)

I will now demonstrate my c... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

I will now demonstrate my conservative power by raising Ronald Reagan from the dead. Many thanks to my Santerian friends. Bring me the chickens!

I just came from the Senate... (Below threshold)

I just came from the Senate private men's room and I saw Hillary peeing standing up.

... and I gotta tell ya, sh... (Below threshold)

... and I gotta tell ya, she's well hung!

Ulp..Now that Mitt's... (Below threshold)

Now that Mitt's out, I can imagine what the main stream media is going to with me.

Keeping true to his pledge ... (Below threshold)

Keeping true to his pledge to initiate a more conservative style of play, Coach McCain flashes the 3-0 take sign to cleanup hitter Mike Huckabee. McCain said later that he also didn't want to run up the score against his counterpart Mitt Romney.

Presidential candidate John... (Below threshold)

Presidential candidate John McCain (D-AZ) is unable to respond to a question from the media due to political speech restrictions resulting from McCain-Feingold.

DRUDGEBREAKING: Presidentia... (Below threshold)

DRUDGEBREAKING: Presidential hopeful John McCain upon hearing statement from a trusted advisor, Martin Brody -- "I think We're gonna need a bigger vote." Developing...

"Killed any Conservative te... (Below threshold)

"Killed any Conservative tenets today, John?"
"Day ain't over yet."

"And and no amnesty for ill... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"And and no amnesty for illegals, yeah yeah, I am telling you I got a million of them. Thank you thank you very much"

John's campaign jumps the s... (Below threshold)

John's campaign jumps the snark

Update: <... (Below threshold)
Kevin Author Profile Page:

Update: Winners announced. Click on the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed, but a new edition of the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™ will debut Friday morning.






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