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The Up Side Of Illegal Aliens

Usually, whenever I write about illegal aliens, I talk about the harm they do to our nation. They erode respect for the law, they represent a great potential threat to our security, and do damage to our economy. They also cheapen the efforts of those who do take the time and show the respect for us and our ways by coming here legally, following the regulations, and -- in short -- doing it right.

But it occurs to me that there are a lot of benefits to having this group of people in our country. As a lot of their advocates say, they do a lot of jobs that Americans can't be bothered to do, at least at the wages employers like to pay.

And they also are great at being victims to the crimes Americans don't want to be victimized by.

Let's face it. Despite our best efforts, we're never going to be able to completely stop crime. So instead of futilely trying to end it, why not simply try to contain it? Illegal aliens are a tremendous asset in this struggle. Since they're here illegally in the first place, they're highly unlikely to report crimes to the authorities -- they prefer to avoid any attention from authorities. So most crimes against them will go unreported, meaning our statistics will be better.

Even more meaningfully, every illegal alien represents an American citizen or a legal immigrant who has not been victimized. They're protecting us, suffering the assaults and robberies and sundry other attacks that the criminals would otherwise inflict on the citizenry.

I have to admit, I was partly inspired to this thought by the recent spate of shootings in "gun-free zones." I started thinking of them as "hunting preserves for psychos," and realized that the same principle holds here. The illegal alien community can serve a similar function, allowing our criminals to prey freely without fear of the police.

So the next time you see an illegal alien, say "thank you" for what they do us.

Then, if you feel like it, whack 'em upside the head and steal their wallet. They aren't likely to call the cops.


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Comments (11)

"A Modest Proposal". ww... (Below threshold)

"A Modest Proposal". ww

Neither will they report th... (Below threshold)

Neither will they report those 3 leaky barrels of PCBs they were told to keep driving around until they were empty.

Do you have a cheaper solut... (Below threshold)

Do you have a cheaper solution to getting rid of those pesky pcb's jpm100?

LOL, nice idea for an Onion... (Below threshold)
civildisobedience Author Profile Page:

LOL, nice idea for an Onion article or non-PC SNL skit.

Illegals, doing the jobs American's don't want; cleaning woman, ditch digger, fruit picker, crime victim...

JT, you wake up a little cr... (Below threshold)

JT, you wake up a little cranky by any chance?

You are right though, they make great victims. I like the fact that they are exploited by businesses so that U.S. Citizens don't have to be. They'd be a perfect victim class if they'd just stop protesting, stay in the dark and refuse to be legalized.

The problem I see in this p... (Below threshold)

The problem I see in this post is that it will surely be cited by lib types. Snappleface or The Onion could get away with it, but not anyone else. Even if it is labeled satire or given a title like "A Modest Proposal - 2008 Update", it will still be used.

Another upside is that most... (Below threshold)
Mac Lorry:

Another upside is that most illegals work and pay into the Social Security system, which they are unlikely to ever draw from. Without this influx of money the Social Security system would be paying out more than it takes in much sooner than currently projected (2017). Some argue that illegals are paid in cash, but that's only true for day workers and self-employed. Anyone who has a regular job with a legitimate business is paying the FICA tax, which is paid on every dollar earned up to a max few workers hit.

It's actually cheaper for business to pay wages and the employer's half of FICA than to pay cash because wages and FICA taxes are 100% deductable for businesses. To pay cash a business has to cook the books or take it out of the after tax earnings of owners, and owners usually pay higher tax rates than their workers. Get caught employing illegals and it's a slap on the wrist. Get caught cooking the books and you could go to jail.

The solution to the Social Security problem is to minimize boarder security and scrutiny of potential illegals. Keep them illegal, but don't get too worked up about enforcing it. However, when someone applies for Social Security benefits then a background check needs to be done to ensure no illegals collect.

" Another upside is that... (Below threshold)
Les Nessman:

" Another upside is that most illegals work and pay into the Social Security system, which they are unlikely to ever draw from. "

How long do you think that will last?
Watch for the lawsuits in the coming years. The arguments will be along the lines of 'It's just not fair! They paid in, so they should collect.' and ' How can anyone disagree with them collecting if they paid in all this time?'

There will be plenty of advocate groups pursuing this and plenty of pandering politicians who will support this.

Les,While illegals... (Below threshold)
Mac Lorry:


While illegals pay in, it's unlikely they have their own valid Social Security number. Thus, what they paid in can't be credited to them.

Also, they are in the U.S. and working illegally, so they have no case. It's like a crook asking for interest on the money they heisted for the time it was locked up as evidence.

Mac, your grasp of what a g... (Below threshold)

Mac, your grasp of what a great lawyer can do is astonishing? Les is absolutely correct. ww

ww,I disagree that... (Below threshold)
Mac Lorry:


I disagree that illegals will gain access to Social Security funds. The reason is that by 2017 paying out to millions of illegals would require either higher taxes or reduced benefits or both. The "pandering politicians" Les talks about will be pandering to tax payers and current retirees. There's no quicker way to commit political suicide than to threaten age 50-plus voters with reduced retirement benefits.






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