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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

In this July 7, 2008 file photo, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of Calif. gestures during a news conference in San Francisco to discuss gas prices. On Tuesday, July 8, 2008, Pelosi called on President Bush to release oil from the government's emergency reserve to knock down gasoline prices she says 'are helping push the economy toward recession.' (AP Photo/Paul Sakuma, File)

Winners will be announced Monday morning.

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.


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Comments (141)

"I know in 2006 I said I wo... (Below threshold)

"I know in 2006 I said I would do something about the high price of gas, but now I really, really mean it." ww

With approval ratings at an... (Below threshold)

With approval ratings at an all time low, congressional members force Speaker Pelosi to give her next speech in traffic.

"I am very proud of lowerin... (Below threshold)

"I am very proud of lowering congresses approval rating to the lowest ever in history." ww

Pelosi commenting to the pr... (Below threshold)

Pelosi commenting to the press on how well her interview went with the Shell gas station. ww

If I had my way, I'd grab B... (Below threshold)

If I had my way, I'd grab Big Oil by the cojones and give 'em the Jesse Jackson treatment!

"To increase our approval r... (Below threshold)

"To increase our approval ratings, I will now wear my hair like Cameron Diaz in 'There's Something About Mary.'"

Let them fly Gulfstreams.</... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Let them fly Gulfstreams.

Nancy realized if they can'... (Below threshold)

Nancy realized if they can't hear you over the traffic noise, they pretty much can't hold you to your promises.

"Ask not what your Congress... (Below threshold)

"Ask not what your Congress can do for you, ask what you could do for your Congress...."

Drill our way to lower gas ... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Drill our way to lower gas prices? That's sillier than fucking our way to higher birth rates.

Caving to public pressure, ... (Below threshold)

Caving to public pressure, Nancy Pelosi approves a piece of public land for gas exploration.

Today I will be outlining a... (Below threshold)

Today I will be outlining a comprehensive plan to deal with the soaring cost of cosmetic surgery.

"Democrats have a commonsen... (Below threshold)

"Democrats have a commonsense plan to help bring down skyrocketing gas prices by cracking down on price gouging, rolling back the billions of dollars in taxpayer subsidies, tax breaks and royalty relief given to big oil and gas companies, and increasing production of alternative fuels." - Nancy Pelosi April 24, 2006 when gas prices were $2.91/gal

So I've asked President Bus... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

So I've asked President Bush to draw down our Strategic Petroleum Reserves to ensure the vital flow of wrinkle cream for my face is not interrupted...

When we took over Congress ... (Below threshold)

When we took over Congress we pledged to remake America according to our vision.

Mission Accomplished.

Bride of Skeletor... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Bride of Skeletor

The American people demand ... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

The American people demand lower gas prices?
Better tune up my grandma voice for a stern, yet caring, "No!".

Just because Congress is le... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Just because Congress is less popular than forced sodomy doen't mean I can't emblazen household objects with the Seal of the Speaker.

"It's all just a Shell game... (Below threshold)

"It's all just a Shell game," the Speaker declared.

Let's ram some Platformate ... (Below threshold)

Let's ram some Platformate up her ass and see if it helps her think any clearer.

Go to Shell Nancy, and reme... (Below threshold)

Go to Shell Nancy, and remember that the "S" is silent.

"Greed is good."... (Below threshold)

"Greed is good."

The left's new plan to redu... (Below threshold)

The left's new plan to reduce oil consumption is to post prominent democrats in front of gas stations.

That'll scare 'em off.

The photographer made a goo... (Below threshold)

The photographer made a good editorial comment on Pelosi's depth.

One of these things in oili... (Below threshold)

One of these things in oilier than the other.

Astute placement of a ga... (Below threshold)

Astute placement of a gas source next to a distribution point.

Shell has been experimentin... (Below threshold)

Shell has been experimenting with democrat gassification.

Never thought I'd see Pelos... (Below threshold)

Never thought I'd see Pelosi posing with F*ckme pumps.

Pay attention to the signs.... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Pay attention to the signs. Invasion of the Body Snatchers is real.

Empty Shell.... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Empty Shell.

Nancy just assumed that the... (Below threshold)

Nancy just assumed that the service station attendant job was a public speaking position.

In a new ad, Shell points o... (Below threshold)

In a new ad, Shell points out that there's enough oiliness in Congress to last us into the next century.

Pelosi pretending that Demo... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Pelosi pretending that Democrat obstructionism has nothing to do with high gas prices.

The Dems new "Blood for Oil... (Below threshold)

The Dems new "Blood for Oil" campaign hits its stride in San Francisco as patrons give a pint for a tank full of gas. Unfortunately Speaker Pelosi was only able to spare enough to fill the community lighter at the local medical marijuana clinic.

There's a lot of gas in thi... (Below threshold)

There's a lot of gas in this picture.

Nancy Pelosi is living proo... (Below threshold)

Nancy Pelosi is living proof that gas DOES come from dinosaurs.

"Elect us, again, and we wi... (Below threshold)

"Elect us, again, and we will produce a common-sense plan to help bring down the price of gasoline at the pump. No, really."

Nancy has spoken. The probl... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Nancy has spoken. The problem is solved.

Speaker Pelosi standing nex... (Below threshold)

Speaker Pelosi standing next to the numbers that (not coincidentally) add up to Congress' historically low approval ratings.

Nancy is announcing the mer... (Below threshold)

Nancy is announcing the merger of Total, Shell and BP. The merged company is to be called: Total BS.

Nancy Pelosi's first remark... (Below threshold)

Nancy Pelosi's first remarks at the grand opening of her new Shell station: "When gas topped $4.50 here in San Francisco I knew that I simply could not resist, as they say, 'gettin' me sum o'dat!'"

"You see, in Europe they pa... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

"You see, in Europe they pay eight dollars a gallon for gas..."

Under Nancy's leadership, C... (Below threshold)

Under Nancy's leadership, Congress is a Shell of its former self.

Who keeps texting me with "... (Below threshold)

Who keeps texting me with "71077345"

"President Bush is a failur... (Below threshold)

"President Bush is a failure. My Congress has managed to do in 18 months what he could not do in 7 1/2 years - watch the price of gasoline double."

It really wasn't nice of th... (Below threshold)

It really wasn't nice of the Shell station owner to bring out the podium to mock Nancy during her job interview.

"... and after my plan to m... (Below threshold)

"... and after my plan to mirror Canada's pricing model regular will only be $1.20."

"To the 80% of Americans th... (Below threshold)

"To the 80% of Americans that say they want more domestic drilling, I say, 'You want more gas? Pull my finger.'"

"How bad is it? Gas is so e... (Below threshold)

"How bad is it? Gas is so expensive these days that people's budgets are stretched tighter than the skin on my face!"

Nancy really got ticked whe... (Below threshold)

Nancy really got ticked when gas went over $4.50 locally since her Speaker's-Podiumobile gets only 8 miles to the gallon.

"**Chortle**! How great is... (Below threshold)

"**Chortle**! How great is it that the price of gas is this high so we can try to exploit it on camera and blame it on that f'ing Bush? What? These mics are on? *%$#[email protected]!!!"

Combustible Huckster Bull</... (Below threshold)

Combustible Huckster Bull

"Squawk!! It's Bush... (Below threshold)

"Squawk!! It's Bush's fault, it's Bush's fault! Squawk!! Pelosi wanna cracker! Squawk!!"

Which came first? The Harpy... (Below threshold)

Which came first? The Harpy or the Shell?

"I didn't mind Bush doing a... (Below threshold)

"I didn't mind Bush doing all the illegal spying and war-making and stuff like that, but gasoline prices are a different matter. Impeachment is definitely back on the table."

"What did the President kno... (Below threshold)

"What did the President know about gasoline prices and when did he know it?"

Inflammable Substance vs. I... (Below threshold)

Inflammable Substance vs. Inflammable no-substance.

"I Have A High Octane Mouth... (Below threshold)

"I Have A High Octane Mouth, Powered By A Low Octane Brain."

"And as Speaker of the Hous... (Below threshold)

"And as Speaker of the House, I call upon President Bush to tap into our Strategic Oil of Olay Reserves."

"Dorian Gray? Who's that?"<... (Below threshold)

"Dorian Gray? Who's that?"

Cirque de Shelloil... (Below threshold)
Lindy R. Dole:

Cirque de Shelloil

Pelosi said, "We Democrats ... (Below threshold)
P. Bunyan:

Pelosi said, "We Democrats think these high gas prices are a good thing and our policies will drive them even higher to be on par with our fellow leftists in Europe who are currently paying around $10 per gallon, but as our messiah proclaimed, 'the only problem is they went up too fast', and THAT is all George Bush's fault of course."

Reality is whatever refuses... (Below threshold)
Al Pennam:

Reality is whatever refuses to go away after I stop believing in it.

Congressional errmark... (Below threshold)
rodney dill:

Congressional errmark

Uhh Nancy, thats a shell st... (Below threshold)

Uhh Nancy, thats a shell station, not a shill station....

"But you said you would low... (Below threshold)
Al Pennam:

"But you said you would lower..."

"I have altered the deal, pray I don't alter it further."

One last time, Navin....gas... (Below threshold)

One last time, Navin....gas BAG, gas STATION. Be careful of the gas BAG.....they cost a lot!

Nancy gives her Seal of the... (Below threshold)

Nancy gives her Seal of the Speaker new meaning as she seals off drilling anywhere.

There's really nothing to s... (Below threshold)

There's really nothing to say but to quote the old Texas politician Jim Hightower: "If ignorance ever reaches $40 a barrel, I want drillin' rights to [her] head."

Both of the objects in this... (Below threshold)
Big Mo:

Both of the objects in this picture deliver gas. Both objects make you pay for their gas. Both types of gas are highly combustible. The difference? One object puts gas in your car's wazoo, is quite useful and you pay for it once. The other puts gas up your wazoo, serves no purpose, and you pay for it long after it goes away.

And the signs say "-SHE'LL ... (Below threshold)

And the signs say "-SHE'LL keep gas prices at $5.12 FOREVER!!!!!"

We could have caused even h... (Below threshold)
Al Pennam:

We could have caused even higher price increases, but didn't. So you see, we... uh... actually lowered gas prices.

"Go prices <i... (Below threshold)

"Go prices go! Go all the way to 5, I said go prices go! Go all the way to 5; skyrocket to the SKY!!! Yayyyyyyyy!!! C'mon, Dems! Go Dems!!"

Here's a Quarter, go play i... (Below threshold)

Here's a Quarter, go play in traffic...

Unfortuantely, the Live Act... (Below threshold)

Unfortuantely, the Live Action film "Frogger", had a very limited budget.

We cannot drill our way out... (Below threshold)

We cannot drill our way out of this problem.
It's like my mother used to tell me, when life gives you lemons, criticize the grocer to release frozen concentrated lemonade from the supermarket's strategic warehouse reserve.

Look closely at this ancien... (Below threshold)
Al Pennam:

Look closely at this ancient photograph and you can see the symbol of what was once an unhealthy dependence, a burden on wealth creation, and a greedy institution which profited by bleeding money from the pockets of working people.

That is, before the moratorium on politicians within the lower 48 states and Alaska.

Nancy is telling them that ... (Below threshold)

Nancy is telling them that she proposes to have the oil company's signs changed to, US OIL COMPANY before her term is over.

"If Preshident Bush could u... (Below threshold)

"If Preshident Bush could unfreesh my fashe I wouldn't be sho hoshtile towartsh him."

"Go ahead. Ask me what gas ... (Below threshold)

"Go ahead. Ask me what gas costs NOW."

To propel the economy towar... (Below threshold)

To propel the economy toward alternative fuels, Pelosi announces that Congress has abandoned gasoline rationing in favor of a simple ban on gasoline.

In case folks not facing th... (Below threshold)

In case folks not facing the podium were confused, the back of Nancy's jacket proclaims "Speaker of the House"

A weasel on the price of di... (Below threshold)

A weasel on the price of diesel

Oil makes me sick. It reall... (Below threshold)

Oil makes me sick. It really does.

[background conversation... (Below threshold)
DJ Drummond:

[background conversation]

Customer (white shirt): "Who's that?"

Station Owner (red shirt): "Pelosi."

Customer: "She sure is noisy. Is she hurting sales?"

Owner: "Sorta. Gas still sells, but the deli counter is slow. Seeing' Pelosi up close kills the appetite."

Customer: "Roger that."

Queen Botoxia addresses the... (Below threshold)

Queen Botoxia addresses the little people.

Announcing her nuanced Euro... (Below threshold)

Announcing her nuanced Eurostyle DNC platform, Nancy advocated $8 gas, mandatory French speaking and immediate US retreat.

It's Bush's fault - he make... (Below threshold)

It's Bush's fault - he makes me stupid.

"Funny, I didn't know Gaseo... (Below threshold)

"Funny, I didn't know Gaseous Windbags was a new alternative fuel. Go figure."

Don't pay any attention the... (Below threshold)

Don't pay any attention the the prices you see, gas is really cheap here in California - you just pay more for the privilege of driving here in California.

We have a solution to these... (Below threshold)

We have a solution to these high gas prices. We will force car manufacturers to put smaller gas tanks in all new cars. That way you wont be paying as much when you fill up.

"... and after my ... (Below threshold)
rodney dill:
"... and after my plan to mirror Canada's pricing model regular will only be $1.20."

... price per liter

Big MoBot... (Below threshold)

Big Mo

Both of the objects in this picture deliver gas. Both objects make you pay for their gas. Both types of gas are highly combustible. The difference? One object puts gas in your car's wazoo, is quite useful and you pay for it once. The other puts gas up your wazoo, serves no purpose, and you pay for it long after it goes away.

The gas up your wazoo causes among other things, heartburn and ulcers.

Nancy, just wait a second t... (Below threshold)
Al Gore:

Nancy, just wait a second to roll the cameras, so I can get my Mercedes out of the picture.

If cars could run on hot ai... (Below threshold)

If cars could run on hot air, Nancy could fuel the whole country.

"And I promise you that if ... (Below threshold)

"And I promise you that if we continue to follow our policies, the prices you see behind me will *look* low by this time next year..."

Five Dollar (a gallon) Whor... (Below threshold)

Five Dollar (a gallon) Whore

The most ethical gas statio... (Below threshold)
The brain:

The most ethical gas station in history!

Drill Me, Drill Now, Pay Mo... (Below threshold)

Drill Me, Drill Now, Pay More

Nancy Pelosi and the Democr... (Below threshold)

Nancy Pelosi and the Democratic Part is the largest source of untapped energy this country has.....Hot Air!

"Dick Cole Called, I Told H... (Below threshold)

"Dick Cole Called, I Told Him I Was Busy."

"You like me! You really li... (Below threshold)

"You like me! You really like me! What? That's our DISapproval rating?"

Starting Monday, all gasoli... (Below threshold)
Roy Lofquist Author Profile Page:

Starting Monday, all gasoline will be priced in pounds sterling

Nancy: "And to show how ser... (Below threshold)

Nancy: "And to show how seriously I take the gas crisis, I am today supporting the legislation to bring back the national speed limit of 55."

The podium is hiding Nancy'... (Below threshold)

The podium is hiding Nancy's sandwich board which reads "Will Pontificate For Gas"

"America...NO GAS FOR YOU!"... (Below threshold)

"America...NO GAS FOR YOU!"

"Batman was quickly called ... (Below threshold)

"Batman was quickly called and the Joker was returned to Arkham Asylum."

Wow! Heath Leger's portraya... (Below threshold)

Wow! Heath Leger's portrayal of the The Joker really is horrifying!

I know the Strategic Petrol... (Below threshold)

I know the Strategic Petroleum Reserve is plenty full because I dipped my hair into it just this morning...

That's right! I will person... (Below threshold)

That's right! I will personally top off the gas tank of the first fifty people to step on up and give me a big, wet, sloppy one. Come on, you know you want the gas. Come to Mama Bear.

I am here today to unveil t... (Below threshold)

I am here today to unveil the new Honda Podium, which gets up to 43 miles per gallon if you supply your own hot air to the fuel injectors.

It's a bit hard to explain,... (Below threshold)

It's a bit hard to explain, but I think it comes from dinosaurs.

Gouge this!... (Below threshold)

Gouge this!

The oil companies are playi... (Below threshold)

The oil companies are playing a shell game... What? Why are you laughing?

"You say this thing behind ... (Below threshold)
Elroy Jetson:

"You say this thing behind me is a gas station? What the hell is a gas station?"

Then you hide your "finger ... (Below threshold)

Then you hide your "finger gun" under your shirt, and you go in and say, "Stick 'em up! I want a full tank of gas and a packet of Ding Dongs!" Problem solved.

"The reason gas prices r... (Below threshold)
DJ Drummond:

"The reason gas prices remain so high, is because some of you still refuse to accept the Obamessiah!"

"Some things will be taken ... (Below threshold)

"Some things will be taken from you for the common good"

After all, it worked so well for Hillary

A gallon of gas here will c... (Below threshold)
retired military:

A gallon of gas here will cost you $4.55 and going at 60 miles per hour will last you about 20 min. I only charge half that for a 20 min ride.

" . . . and I am afraid tha... (Below threshold)

" . . . and I am afraid that I might have to rethink my views on drilling for oil. As it turns out, many of my constituents actually drive cars."

"And in conclusion I am pro... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"And in conclusion I am proud to say that only a democratic congress under my leadership could have done as great a job as we did in keeping gas prices down."

"And I say to all my... (Below threshold)

"And I say to all my fellow Americans: Go fuck yourselves.."

Travel by hot-air balloon i... (Below threshold)

Travel by hot-air balloon is cheaper.

Pelosi at the old shell gam... (Below threshold)

Pelosi at the old shell game again

The FEDS have now mandated ... (Below threshold)

The FEDS have now mandated installing airbags at all filling stations

And I will not stop complai... (Below threshold)

And I will not stop complaining about President Bush or the price of oil, until it reaches $10, or Bush leaves office, whichever is later.

Don't cry for me big oil co... (Below threshold)

Don't cry for me big oil company.

Pelosi reveals the new Cong... (Below threshold)

Pelosi reveals the new Congressional Shield....sponsored by Shell.

"Oil companies demand a lot... (Below threshold)

"Oil companies demand a lot of money from the Public for the services that they provide. They say they are providing a service that is good for, and is needed by the Public. Yet I am concerned about value of the inflated prices over the good that is actually provided. I am also concerned about the affect of greed and corruption on the process."

"In contrast your Congress is uh... uh..."

There's something about Nan... (Below threshold)

There's something about Nancy!

If I'm not telling you the ... (Below threshold)
Wondering Woman:

If I'm not telling you the truth may a horn grow out of my head.

"I know we have stopped eve... (Below threshold)

"I know we have stopped every new exploration project, kept new refineries from being built, and tax each gallon 63 cents......It is Bush's Fault"

See what the "Blood for Oil... (Below threshold)

See what the "Blood for Oil" war in Iraq has gotten us? We have to bring the troops home now to force gas prices down.

Nancy: Is that hair gel? Gr... (Below threshold)

Nancy: Is that hair gel? Great! I just ran out.

Nancy called for BIG OIL to... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Nancy called for BIG OIL to drill on land already leased. They responded by inserting a natural gas line into her mouth to capture the rest of the hot air she was spewing.

Shell shocked.... (Below threshold)

Shell shocked.

BDS Shell(for UNIX... (Below threshold)

BDS Shell

(for UNIX nerds only)

Shell introduces promotiona... (Below threshold)

Shell introduces promotional giveaway in spirit of old Sinclair dinosaur.

Pelosi reveals already leas... (Below threshold)

Pelosi reveals already leased land where gas is already being pumped.

House Speaker demonstrates ... (Below threshold)

House Speaker demonstrates new alternative power source: facial skin tension.

Update: <... (Below threshold)
Kevin Author Profile Page:

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.






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