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The Knuckleheads of the Day award

Today's winners are Patrolman T.E. Parsons and the South Charleston Police Department(West Virginia). They get the award for the following-

SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va. - South Charleston police have charged a man with battery after they say he intentionally passed gas on an officer while under arrest for suspicion of drunken driving.

Police say they were fingerprinting Jose Antonio Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, at police headquarters Tuesday when Cruz moved near Patrolman T.E. Parsons, lifted his leg and passed gas "loudly" on the officer, according to a criminal complaint.

Cruz then waved the air in the direction of Parsons, who was preparing a breath test machine nearby.

"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint says.

The defendant was initially arrested after police observed him driving his Mazda 626 east on W.Va. 60 without headlights, the complaint says. Police say Cruz was unsteady on his feet and smelled of alcohol when they pulled him over at the corner of Park Avenue and W.Va. 60.

Cruz allegedly failed to give an adequate breath sample because he has asthma, the complaint says. Cruz asked to be taken to a hospital, but allegedly resisted when emergency medical technicians showed up. Police say they struggled to get Cruz handcuffed while he was on a cot.

Cruz was charged with DUI, battery on a police officer and obstructing. He was jailed on $5,000 bond.

Passing gas is battery on a police officer? What a wimp, and that includes this patrolman's superiors. Did any of these men ever arrest their pregnant wife or a pregnant woman because they blow gas? If everyone was arrested for passing gas near the police, jails across the nation would be overwhelmed.

Patrolman T.E. Parsons and the South Charleston Police Department should be made into national laughingstocks because of the battery charge brought against Mr. Cruz. The story getting national attention via AP will help, as may be my naming them both today's Knuckleheads of the Day.


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Comments (7)

In the patrolman's defense,... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

In the patrolman's defense, the gas was very odorous.

How will they prove it in court? Did Parsons manage to somehow capture some of the odorous gas to be released later for the jury?

What about the bank robber ... (Below threshold)

What about the bank robber that spent 6 hours trying to break into a safe that wasn't even locked? That is a true knucklehead criminal.

At least he didn't soil him... (Below threshold)

At least he didn't soil himself. Prisoners are known to do that knowing they have to be strip-searched when they get to prison.

Disagree with this award...... (Below threshold)
Son Of The Godfather:

Disagree with this award... Butt-burps can be lethal.

Ever hear if "silent but deadly"?

Cork 'im up, then lock 'im up.

<a href="http://www.foxnews... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:


Charges dropped. Well, at least the "I fart in your general direction" charge...

WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP... (Below threshold)
d bruhn:


I'm not happy with the char... (Below threshold)

I'm not happy with the charge simply being droppped. I want to see disciplinary action taken against Patrolman Parsons and his superiors. This is one of the most retarded things I've seen. I recall reading a similar case not too long ago where an officer filed assault charges against a man who coughed on him while the officer was writing the man a ticket.

If you're that big of a pussy you really have no business being a cop.






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Section Editor: Maggie Whitton

Editors: Jay Tea, Lorie Byrd, Kim Priestap, DJ Drummond, Michael Laprarie, Baron Von Ottomatic, Shawn Mallow, Rick, Dan Karipides, Michael Avitablile, Charlie Quidnunc, Steve Schippert

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In Memorium: HughS

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