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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Former President Bill Clinton addresses the Netroots Nation Convention at the David L. Lawrence Convention Center in Pittsburgh, Pa., Thursday Aug. 13, 2009. Clinton says Republicans have turned to terrifying people in the debate over overhauling the health care system because the Republican Party has no political clout to fight it. (AP Photo/John Beale)

Winners for this weekend's contest, as well as last weekend's contest, will be announced Monday morning.

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entry. The contest is now closed.


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Comments (106)

"It was this big... Would ... (Below threshold)

"It was this big... Would I lie to you?"

Obama discovers a major sou... (Below threshold)

Obama discovers a major source of his constarnation.

....nope, didn't have sex w... (Below threshold)

....nope, didn't have sex with her either.

"...Ok, next question from ... (Below threshold)

"...Ok, next question from the Congolese student over there."

Oh crap, Kevin did use a 'k... (Below threshold)

Oh crap, Kevin did use a 'knob picture.

No, I won't be telling you ... (Below threshold)

No, I won't be telling you what my opinion is on a Chinese loan offer to the Congo. My wife is Secretary of State, not me.

"No, I'm not the Secretary ... (Below threshold)

"No, I'm not the Secretary of State. Hillary is the Secretary of State, and the last time I saw her, her ass was this wide."

"...so you see a wide Latin... (Below threshold)

"...so you see a wide Latino was a better choice."

Guys, guys, you know I shar... (Below threshold)

Guys, guys, you know I share your passion for social justice. But isn't the red star just a little heavy handed for right now?

I mean, why don't you just put up the hammer and sicle while you're at it?

Clinton is the perfect spea... (Below threshold)

Clinton is the perfect speaker for the Obama-nation.

"I love the logo, but somet... (Below threshold)

"I love the logo, but something's missing. I have a suggestion, take a hammer in this hand, a sickle in this hand cross them together and with that big red star, you've got a better logo for the Netroots."

And I think the single paye... (Below threshold)

And I think the single payer Viagra option needs to be a fundamental plank of any comprehensive health care bill.

And Hillary told that me th... (Below threshold)

And Hillary told that me that she'll be damned if she'll just sit by and watch some two-bit race hustler from Chicago pull off nationalized health care when she couldn't.

". . . and so I said, 'Bara... (Below threshold)

". . . and so I said, 'Barack, it's simple. Blame everything on Bush.'"

I'm NOT kidding......the at... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

I'm NOT kidding......the attorney general?? Her ass is this big.

Teleprompter? I don't need ... (Below threshold)

Teleprompter? I don't need no stinking teleprompter. I can spew Hopey Changey bullshit for the next hour or so off the top of my head.

Nah-only kidding. It's onl... (Below threshold)

Nah-only kidding. It's only half that long--

I like big butts and I cann... (Below threshold)

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

"No, Hillary only channels ... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

"No, Hillary only channels Eleanor Roosevelt. First she puts her arms out like this and then she chants: 'Ugly women shouldn't marry good-looking men, ugly women .....'"

I came this close to being ... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

I came this close to being a faithful husband.

Of course, Algore and I are... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

Of course, Algore and I are close friends.

Perfect quid pro quo: Bill ... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

Perfect quid pro quo: Bill Clinton promotes Obamacare and Obama keeps sending Hillary to remote corners of the world.

Clinton formalizes the Left... (Below threshold)

Clinton formalizes the Left's goal of making America a one-star nation.

OK. My room number is ...</... (Below threshold)
Sabba Hillel:

OK. My room number is ...

For some inexplicable reaso... (Below threshold)

For some inexplicable reason, Bill Clinton broke into the Macarena.

There was a lass from Nantu... (Below threshold)
Sabba Hillel:

There was a lass from Nantucket ...

Hey, wanna see my Al Jolson... (Below threshold)

Hey, wanna see my Al Jolson?

"I got this Asian flower, a... (Below threshold)

"I got this Asian flower, all giggly and dewy-like, and this hard-boiled navy nurse outta Omaha, on the other. We're three across the bed,
not a stitch of clothes on. It comes to me. Let east meet west. We'll build a golden bridge. I felt like I'd just joined the corps of engineers!"

Biggest lie I ever told??? ... (Below threshold)

Biggest lie I ever told??? No it's not "I did not have sex with that woman...Ms. LewinsKy"...Its "I'm this big"...

Somebody needs a hug!... (Below threshold)

Somebody needs a hug!

Bill Clinton responding to ... (Below threshold)

Bill Clinton responding to the audience question "What did you first notice about Hillary?"

I had one hot asian chick o... (Below threshold)

I had one hot asian chick on my left side, and the other on my right; and if you ever been with two hot asian chicks when they've spent months in prison.

Well let's just say they were ... grateful.

So Ling says "We were taken... (Below threshold)

So Ling says "We were taken to a location and when we walked through the door we saw standing before us President Bill Clinton." The part she didn't tell ya was, my pants were around my ankles and I was standing like this...

"So I've got a layer of Jel... (Below threshold)

"So I've got a layer of Jello this deep on the Slip-n-Slide in the living room and the intern 'candidates' waiting in the dining room and then who calls to say she'll be home early but the Secretary of State herself. So I called Rahm and she was off to the Congo."

There has only been one per... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

There has only been one perfect man who ever lived, and they crucified me.

"Ladies, I'll be backstage ... (Below threshold)

"Ladies, I'll be backstage later, but remember that you must be at least this wide to ride this ride."

"You should of seen the int... (Below threshold)

"You should of seen the intern that got away..."

"You see my destiny was for... (Below threshold)

"You see my destiny was formed when I was born, as I was gifted with parts this big! From there I have been led by its aspirations more than my own!"

"Republicans are terrifying... (Below threshold)

"Republicans are terrifying old folks in the middle of the night. Razing health care town hall villages in a fashion remniscent of Genghis Kahn".

"Now.. wheres My intern?"

"My shlong is this long"</p... (Below threshold)

"My shlong is this long"

"I did not Impale."... (Below threshold)

"I did not Impale."

"That's what she said!"... (Below threshold)

"That's what she said!"

"My dingaling, My dingal... (Below threshold)

"My dingaling, My dingaling, You all wanna play with My dingaling."

"The truth is I've always t... (Below threshold)

"The truth is I've always taken an interest in foreign 'affairs.'"

"I gotta admit, President O... (Below threshold)
DJ Drummond:

"I gotta admit, President Obama is really something.

I screwed a few women while I was President, but he's screwing every one of you!"

"I've always wanted two chi... (Below threshold)

"I've always wanted two chicks at the same time"

I can't tell you how embarr... (Below threshold)

I can't tell you how embarrassed I was to find it was really pronounced 'Poo-ket'.

Hey, intern-baby, come to p... (Below threshold)

Hey, intern-baby, come to papa.

Why don't you ask my wife w... (Below threshold)

Why don't you ask my wife what I think? She really likes that.

Oh, about this wide....and ... (Below threshold)

Oh, about this wide....and that's BEFORE Hillary takes off her girdle. Heck, she took up a whole row of seats on Air Force One.

#45 is the best of all of t... (Below threshold)

#45 is the best of all of them. Not only is it funny, it is TRUE.

"I did not have sex with th... (Below threshold)

"I did not have sex with that teleprompter."

Trust me, there's no intern... (Below threshold)

Trust me, there's no intern under this podium!

Netroots Nation? I t... (Below threshold)

Netroots Nation? I thought this was Nutroots Nation!

And so; the Netroots Nation... (Below threshold)

And so; the Netroots Nation needs to move beyond partisan rhetoric. You need to stop trying to push your tired old agenda on the American people. You need to focus ALL your energy on getting ME an Nobel prize! Al Gore's head has gotten THIS big since he got his and I can't take it any more!

And now for the next magic ... (Below threshold)

And now for the next magic trick I'd like to pull off socialized health care, err... insurance reform.

I swear to God, she said "M... (Below threshold)

I swear to God, she said "Mr. Bill, you are too boku!".

Hey let me tell you about t... (Below threshold)

Hey let me tell you about the one that got away from me last week.

I swear it was this long</p... (Below threshold)

I swear it was this long

Audience member: What your manhood or the fish

"Who loves ya baby?"... (Below threshold)

"Who loves ya baby?"

Red Star Rising... (Below threshold)

Red Star Rising

"Oh well, it was good while... (Below threshold)

"Oh well, it was good while it lasted."

So I had three of these N K... (Below threshold)

So I had three of these N Korea women in bed and put together they weren't this wide. Man I love Kim's presents.

And BURGER KING is not the ... (Below threshold)

And BURGER KING is not the only place where they have whoppers

"So I'm just back from Nort... (Below threshold)
Upset Old Guy:

"So I'm just back from North Korea and Barack asks me what I think his chances are of getting the ObamaCare bill through Congress. And I say to him, 'Stick a fork in it, it's done. One about this big.' pretty funny huh?"

"Well all you conservatives... (Below threshold)

"Well all you conservatives who hated me in 90's, how you like me know".

When you've had enough, Ame... (Below threshold)

When you've had enough, America, I'm ready to come back!

I met Hillary when her ass ... (Below threshold)

I met Hillary when her ass was only this wide

Now as the good Rev Sharpto... (Below threshold)

Now as the good Rev Sharpton once told me 'Let's pork all these whities while we can and then go get a message down in Harlem.'

Geezh it somebody in the fr... (Below threshold)

Geezh it somebody in the front row just cut the cheese!

Do you see the poster on th... (Below threshold)

Do you see the poster on the front of this podium? Well they spelled "NUTROOTS" wrong.

I trust Obama about half th... (Below threshold)
just bob:

I trust Obama about half this much, but he does keep Hill outa my space.

... So, the goats we are ge... (Below threshold)

... So, the goats we are getting for Chelsea are about this big!

"I've been having this recu... (Below threshold)

"I've been having this recurring dream about a reality show, where middle-class Americans are screwed during the commercial break, then fall through a trap door during the closing credits. I want to call it Process and Elimination. Huh? Huh?? Is that a great idea or what?!"

First thing you do is get a... (Below threshold)

First thing you do is get a BIG cigar..........

Monica's? Oh, I thought you... (Below threshold)
Patrick S:

Monica's? Oh, I thought you meant Hillary's.

Hello Tokyo, come in Tokyo.... (Below threshold)

Hello Tokyo, come in Tokyo.

The ass that gave everyone ... (Below threshold)
LIndy R. Dole:

The ass that gave everyone a negative vote is this big.

One nation under God? No, '... (Below threshold)

One nation under God? No, 'one nation over clod'.

"Ok, we all know how to def... (Below threshold)

"Ok, we all know how to define is. Let's now define nation."

And I told Kim, if you can ... (Below threshold)

And I told Kim, if you can get this close you can usually close the deal.

Well, con - star - nation.<... (Below threshold)

Well, con - star - nation.

"Have you seen Obama's surg... (Below threshold)

"Have you seen Obama's surgeon general nominee? She has an ass this big."

I am not kidding. When I m... (Below threshold)

I am not kidding. When I met Sarah Palin...Well let's just say it was HUGE to see that hot sexymama in person!

"Wow, a red star as your sy... (Below threshold)
Dodo David:

"Wow, a red star as your symbol. How Communist of you. I feel like I'm back in North Korea."

I've got your NetRoot right... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

I've got your NetRoot right here.

Red Star Czar.... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Red Star Czar.

It's this big - just ask Mo... (Below threshold)

It's this big - just ask Monica.

...and as Bertie said: "Com... (Below threshold)

...and as Bertie said: "Commie chicks are hot in bed!"

......and so I said to her,... (Below threshold)

......and so I said to her, I said "Hillary, its not the pants suit that makes you look fat."

So I go to Korea and get me... (Below threshold)

So I go to Korea and get me an asian sandwich...

You'd better put some grand... (Below threshold)

You'd better put some grandma on that, Ice.

B A - L A - CA -- and The Far Away

One Nation, over god.... (Below threshold)

One Nation, over god.

"I did. I really did! After... (Below threshold)

"I did. I really did! After answering the phone I said, 'Al who'? That really got him!"

"This is my first gig as th... (Below threshold)

"This is my first gig as the new Billy Mays."

"I'm BaaaAAACK!Bac... (Below threshold)

"I'm BaaaAAACK!

Back in the headlines again!"

"It depends on what your de... (Below threshold)

"It depends on what your definition of Communism is."

Remember this week and reme... (Below threshold)

Remember this week and remember it well. Week One of the 2012 Hitlery Cli'ton Campaign.

My ego is still this big an... (Below threshold)

My ego is still this big and I'm hear to say, I'm still available to be president when Obama completely messes-up the economy, health care and foreign policy, In fact, I'll even name Hillary Secretary of State if you'll only take me back.

"Sorry Al, but with Barry a... (Below threshold)

"Sorry Al, but with Barry and Hillary in charge, Global Smarming is a bigger problem than Global Warming."

Thought bubble "Th... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Thought bubble

"There they go again, every time I hold my hands like this they think I am talking about a woman"

...so I said, Barack, help ... (Below threshold)
krkrjak Author Profile Page:

...so I said, Barack, help me get her off my back, please, give her something, anything.

"...now if you had elected ... (Below threshold)

"...now if you had elected John Edwards, you would have had a sex scandal this big in the whitehouse..."

It's still my party and I'l... (Below threshold)

It's still my party and I'll cum if I want to ...

Wow, a whole room full of w... (Below threshold)

Wow, a whole room full of women and I forgot my viagra.

Update: <... (Below threshold)
Kevin Author Profile Page:

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entry. The contest is now closed.






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