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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Tiger Woods checks his cell phone during a practice round at the Masters golf tournament in Augusta, Ga. , Tuesday, April 6, 2010.

Winners will be announced Monday morning.

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.


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Comments (96)

Which one which one?... (Below threshold)

Which one which one?
Did her won't do that again.
Did her can't do that again.
She left the pancake house, can't do that again.
She's divorcing me can't do that.

Where is that number for David Letterman's intern?


Aw, crap. I'd completely f... (Below threshold)

Aw, crap. I'd completely forgotten about her. What does she want NOW?

Wil b playin ur holes l8r l... (Below threshold)
Jeff Medcalf:

Wil b playin ur holes l8r lolol

Gee, Elgin, I know you want... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

Gee, Elgin, I know you want to keep tabs on me but couldn't you just turn on the tv?

But look at it this way, Elgin, I'm even more energenic when I'm NOT playing golf.

But Mom YOU were the one who said that you wanted me to remember what Dad used to say to me.

DearOn greenR... (Below threshold)
retired military:

On green
Turn on TV & U will See

Ooops, Elin not Elgin. But... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

Ooops, Elin not Elgin. But Tiger may not get her name correct either!

Woods thought bubble - "gre... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Woods thought bubble - "great Obama wants another set of numbers"

Tigerreally hungry<b... (Below threshold)
retired military:

really hungry
Meet me behind clubhouse
Monica Lewinsky

Woods Thought bubble - "Whe... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Woods Thought bubble - "Where is that app for tracking mistress's phone numbers?"

Tiger unconsciously starts ... (Below threshold)

Tiger unconsciously starts stroking his putter while calling a phone sex line.

I am SO going to hole out. ... (Below threshold)

I am SO going to hole out. Good thing I'm not having any trouble with my putts.

"Sorry dad you won't be com... (Below threshold)

"Sorry dad you won't be compensated by Nike for your part in the Tiger brand rebirth."

Is there an app for this?</... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Is there an app for this?

lets see ... dubya dubya du... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

lets see ... dubya dubya dubya dot free porn..

While I was at the Masters ... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

While I was at the Masters the other golfers tied me to a tree, painted the n-word on me, and threw rocks at me. No one did anything about it.

"Just got myself the most b... (Below threshold)

"Just got myself the most beautiful pendant in the world, don't worry I paid for it out of your account. Better win this weekend! Elin."

"wow....nice rack...."... (Below threshold)

"wow....nice rack...."

"let's see.....how do you s... (Below threshold)

"let's see.....how do you spell 'gonorrhea' again....?"

"hmmmmm......according to t... (Below threshold)

"hmmmmm......according to this spreadsheet...there's going to be a surge of really good golfers in the next 15 years...."

Damn, maybe I gave that red... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Damn, maybe I gave that redhead at Denny's the wrong number...

Tiger stares intently at hi... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Tiger stares intently at his phone while trying to figure out how to spell "poontang."

"hmmm....turns out the 'hos... (Below threshold)

"hmmm....turns out the 'hospitality" tent doesn't offer that particular kind of hospitality..."

"Here's a quarter, call som... (Below threshold)

"Here's a quarter, call someone who cares...."

Looking for discrete skanks... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Looking for discrete skanks? There's an app for that.

Miss you too baby...btw who... (Below threshold)
geo Author Profile Page:

Miss you too baby...btw who is this?

The game pressure is easy..... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

The game pressure is easy... it's the pressure building in my pants that stresses me out.

Once a player, always a pla... (Below threshold)

Once a player, always a player...

The groupies know him as: ... (Below threshold)

The groupies know him as: Tiger "Would".

More whores in more locatio... (Below threshold)

More whores in more locations

Here kitty, kitty...... (Below threshold)

Here kitty, kitty...

With all the babes gone, Ti... (Below threshold)

With all the babes gone, Tiger is reduced to playing golf again.

"looking for someone to res... (Below threshold)

"looking for someone to reshaft my clubs, if you know what I mean....put a cover on my putter, clean my balls, carry my bag, get a hole-in-one, pull the flag, someone who can appreciate a looooong drive, OH FOR CHRIST SAKE, I'M TRYING TO GET LAID....!

Sweet! This Tigers Tracks a... (Below threshold)

Sweet! This Tigers Tracks app really works!

"can you blow me now...?"</... (Below threshold)

"can you blow me now...?"

IM to Billy Payne. 'Huge cr... (Below threshold)

IM to Billy Payne. 'Huge crowd. Enthusiastic support. How do you like me now?'

So Sandra, let me put the "... (Below threshold)

So Sandra, let me put the "O" in Oscar for you ;)

"Never up, never in?... (Below threshold)

"Never up, never in? Thanks Mom, I hadn't heard that one before."

Few people appreciate the a... (Below threshold)

Few people appreciate the athletic enhancement that comes from internet pron.

"Damn GPS keeps sayin' I'm ... (Below threshold)

"Damn GPS keeps sayin' I'm in some river, in Egypt?"

Baby, when I said I was goi... (Below threshold)

Baby, when I said I was going to put my balls in some holes today, I meant golf. I gave up that other stuff. Really.

Elin honey, please don't le... (Below threshold)
DJ Drummond:

Elin honey, please don't leave me, it would KILL my endorse- er, it would be bad for the kids!

I can play 18 holes and a r... (Below threshold)

I can play 18 holes and a round of golf, too.

More pars in more locations... (Below threshold)

More pars in more locations

Tiger and Toyota. You trust... (Below threshold)
Rachel Edith:

Tiger and Toyota. You trusted us before. Just do it again. (Endorsed by Earl.)

Tiger updates his Facebook ... (Below threshold)

Tiger updates his Facebook status. "Having trouble on the 10th hole cuz Erin took my balls."

argh... proofreading is you... (Below threshold)

argh... proofreading is your friend.

Change that to:

Tiger updates his Facebook status. "Having trouble on the 10th hole cuz Elin took my balls."

Need a Ho in a hurry?... (Below threshold)

Need a Ho in a hurry?
There's an app for that!

(text) "Wishing you as many... (Below threshold)

(text) "Wishing you as many bad lies as Obama has had.- Elin"

Ahhh, it's that 22 year old... (Below threshold)

Ahhh, it's that 22 year old from the rehab center. Now a blond....niiiice!

"Hugh, I have to cancel my ... (Below threshold)
Dodo David:

"Hugh, I have to cancel my participation in Playboy's 18-ho tournament. I have to play golf, instead. - Tiger"

Damn, I told them not to ca... (Below threshold)

Damn, I told them not to call me here.

Could you please take your ... (Below threshold)

Could you please take your name off your phone.

Tiger, the twatter... (Below threshold)

Tiger, the twatter

Earl Woods needs look no fu... (Below threshold)

Earl Woods needs look no further to answer the question of whether or not Tiger learned anything from his recent issues...

New bio-pic being filmed ab... (Below threshold)

New bio-pic being filmed about Tiger Woods. The working title is a combination of two previous movies, "Save the Tiger" and "Bang the Drum Slowly", new movie is called "Bang Tiger Slowly". This movie is not yet rated.

"Michelle O. again? Not now... (Below threshold)

"Michelle O. again? Not now, woman."

"Damn it,I told her never t... (Below threshold)

"Damn it,I told her never to call me at work!"

Hmmmm.....offer of a '4-som... (Below threshold)

Hmmmm.....offer of a '4-some' later tonight. Kinky!

Wow! first my dad contacts ... (Below threshold)
Bill Shives:

Wow! first my dad contacts me through a add for nike now he is text messaging me from the grave. DAD I GET THE POINT.

"Man I need the help of a P... (Below threshold)

"Man I need the help of a PR Jedi" (texting) Help me Oprah-wan Winfrey-obi, you're my only hope.

"Oh no....hot babes on the ... (Below threshold)

"Oh no....hot babes on the green....let's remember those sex addiction exersizes.....10 deep knee bends, picture of Nancy Pelosi on the phone, let out some gas....."

If you are without sin then... (Below threshold)

If you are without sin then cast the first stone! Give the guy a break. He is trying to fly right and put the past behind him. Shame on you...let it go!

Is his putter ready ?... (Below threshold)

Is his putter ready ?

#62 and caption:Wh... (Below threshold)

#62 and caption:

What an asshole!

Next, we've got Woody from ... (Below threshold)

Next, we've got Woody from Augusta, Georgia! Woody, welcome to the Dr. Laura show!"

"Is his putter ready ?"<... (Below threshold)

"Is his putter ready ?"

Ha ha ha ha ha ha

The real question is, is his driver handy?

Or does he require a sand w... (Below threshold)

Or does he require a sand wedge to get out of the trap his 5 wood put him in?

" Can you feel me now?"</p... (Below threshold)

" Can you feel me now?"

Announcer - "And here are a... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Announcer - "And here are at the 8th hole of the Masters, ladies and
gentleman. Tiger woods lining up the putt under incredible pressue as he
finds out his attorneys have just raised their fees."

"Wow those are the nicest b... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"Wow those are the nicest birdies I have seen all day"

Hooter scoot bogie!... (Below threshold)

Hooter scoot bogie!

"Let's see....it says I sho... (Below threshold)

"Let's see....it says I should contact my doctor if it lasts more than 4 hours....5, 4, 3, 2, 1.....SEND"

Of course I played a round ... (Below threshold)

Of course I played a round yesterday. Today I'm golfing.

I see Tiger's still putting... (Below threshold)

I see Tiger's still putting them in the hole.

Crouching Tiger, putter dra... (Below threshold)

Crouching Tiger, putter draggin

"sudn deth OTkaaj ma... (Below threshold)

"sudn deth OT
kaaj mach
tigr V TBA lg Kat
1000K$ tix"
seets avail
Sponcerd by elin entrpriz
remove from mail list? Y/N"

wtf? uh uh _Y_

"Dad....you spoke to me fro... (Below threshold)

"Dad....you spoke to me from the grave. But the texting is creepin' me out'

"867-5309? Who the hell is ... (Below threshold)

"867-5309? Who the hell is that?"

When asked later why he stu... (Below threshold)
retired military:

When asked later why he studied the hole for so long, Tiger Woods responded "She was f*cking HOT!!!!"

"Hey, Elin, it's Tiger. I n... (Below threshold)

"Hey, Elin, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My girlfriend went through my phone...."

Thought bubbleKeep... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Thought bubble

Keep my mind on the game!
Got to keep my mind on the game!
What do I do?
What do I do?
Got it.
One nude picture of Helen Thomas coming up.
Okay ready to putt now.

V for Vagina... (Below threshold)
Dave G.:

V for Vagina

Still holing, I see. ... (Below threshold)

Still holing, I see.

Dear Cherry and Candy, this... (Below threshold)

Dear Cherry and Candy, this threesome today can't compare to the ones we had.



To keep his AT & T sponsors... (Below threshold)

To keep his AT & T sponsorship, Tiger has to pretend to make a phone call every other hole, even though the television audience knows that it's impossible to get reception in Augusta.

mini golf... (Below threshold)

mini golf

"Wheres a damn mailbox when... (Below threshold)

"Wheres a damn mailbox when you need one?"

Bunny Ranch, Bunny Ranch ..... (Below threshold)

Bunny Ranch, Bunny Ranch ... Dammit I thought I had them on speed dial..

Twit ...errrr... (Below threshold)
Lindy R. Dole:

Twit ...errrr

Pondering the 19th hole... (Below threshold)

Pondering the 19th hole

Tiger making a date to play... (Below threshold)
Hangtown Bob:

Tiger making a date to play the 19th hole of the day!

"...sure glad Obama gave me... (Below threshold)

"...sure glad Obama gave me his secret Blackberry contact info..."

Hey Barak, can you read the... (Below threshold)

Hey Barak, can you read the break?

News announcer. "... (Below threshold)
retired military:

News announcer.

"Well folks here we have Tiger Woods answering questions on Twitter. Lets look over his shoulder at the question he is answering now."

"Tiger, why did you return to golf so soon?"

And his answer ladies and gentlemen is ..

"I heard I could a lay on the green"

"and this is Jim Anderson reporting on the 2nd hole at Augusta".

Here is Tiger looking at hi... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Here is Tiger looking at his Star Wars horoscope.

"These are not the lays you are looking for"

Update: <... (Below threshold)
Kevin Author Profile Page:

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.






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