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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

President Barack Obama, First Lady Michelle Obama, President Felipe Calderón of Mexico, and his wife, Mrs. Margarita Zavala, ride a trolley to a tent on the South Lawn of the White House, for the State Dinner reception, May 19, 2010. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

Winners will be announced Monday morning.

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.


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Comments (160)

"The ride will be pretty sm... (Below threshold)

"The ride will be pretty smooth from this point, Felipe. That was Dennis Blair and he's the last bump on this road."

The Obamas and Calderons re... (Below threshold)

The Obamas and Calderons rehash their experiences from the most recent episode of International Wife Swap.

You know... The best taco s... (Below threshold)

You know... The best taco stand in town is right over there.

Dude, did you leave your wa... (Below threshold)

Dude, did you leave your water bottles and backpack over by the cactus? You know that littering isn't very green..."

Well, Felipe, why don't I j... (Below threshold)

Well, Felipe, why don't I just give back Arizona to you. That should fix the problem, right?

A Streetcar name Chutzpah!<... (Below threshold)

A Streetcar name Chutzpah!

As you can see in Michelle'... (Below threshold)

As you can see in Michelle's dress, they only support boobs on the left.

It was a pretty good speech... (Below threshold)

It was a pretty good speech, Felipe, and I know you got the standing ovation and all. But, trust me, you did leave out the part about it being Bush's fault.

Our new "Undocumented Worke... (Below threshold)

Our new "Undocumented Worker Express" will allow us to route them around Arizona in comfort and style

"I have your name in the wh... (Below threshold)

"I have your name in the white house "dead pool 2010" contest, don't let me down Felipe!"

Obama shows his usual techn... (Below threshold)

Obama shows his usual technique for reaching across the aisle.

You know, Felipe, love mean... (Below threshold)

You know, Felipe, love means never having to say you're sorry. So the best I can tell you right now is that I'm in like with you.

And this is the exact bus I... (Below threshold)

And this is the exact bus I use to run over former friends and associates...

Yeah, the white guy has to ... (Below threshold)

Yeah, the white guy has to go to the back of the car.

Pull my finger. ... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Pull my finger.

Just the thought of you giv... (Below threshold)

Just the thought of you giving a speech to Congress was enough to damage our economy almost 5% yesterday.

What's your secret?

Four Muggles plot a way to ... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Four Muggles plot a way to lie, cheat, or steal their way into Hogwarts.

Are we talking free trade o... (Below threshold)

Are we talking free trade or immigration with this swap?

Obama: If my plan is succes... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Obama: If my plan is successful, our people will soon be as poor as yours.

If she doesn't have papers,... (Below threshold)

If she doesn't have papers, I'll have to hold her for a while.

Pterodactyl airlines.... (Below threshold)

Pterodactyl airlines.

Sadly, in Obama's administr... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Sadly, in Obama's administration, the dark-skinned black man still has to sit at the back of the bus.

Yes, "illegal immigrants" i... (Below threshold)

Yes, "illegal immigrants" is very harsh.

Why don't we call them: "expats"?

Obama always seeks out the ... (Below threshold)

Obama always seeks out the advice of leaders of failing states, because the job of trashing America is never done.

"And in MY church there are... (Below threshold)

"And in MY church there are rules, MY rules, not those cracker rules that are laws.

The reason it's so empty, F... (Below threshold)

The reason it's so empty, Felipe, is that so many who used be here with me have gone under the bus.

I'm going off the rails on ... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

I'm going off the rails on a crazy train.

Yes, I always cross my legs... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Yes, I always cross my legs like a girl. Why do you ask?

Ahhhh the folly of the trol... (Below threshold)

Ahhhh the folly of the trolley

El Presidente, I personally... (Below threshold)

El Presidente, I personally have never had a problem pressing "1 for English" on my teleprompter....except for that one time when I accidentally pressed "2" and spoke in complete gibberish for 25 minutes....almost as if I had no teleprompter at all.

Street car named DEBT!... (Below threshold)

Street car named DEBT!

Underground? No, I'll run ... (Below threshold)

Underground? No, I'll run this borderline railroad right over the top of Arizona. Votes for me, cash for thee.

Turn out the lights...the p... (Below threshold)

Turn out the lights...the party's over...

President Obama "It was cro... (Below threshold)

President Obama "It was crowded when I first got on. Now there is only him left."

So where is your sombero? I... (Below threshold)

So where is your sombero? I thought you people wore somberos.

You Jets are pretty cool, j... (Below threshold)
John Sheehan:

You Jets are pretty cool, just like us Sharks - now, repeat after me "OK for me in AmeriKKKa......"

So, say one of our Texan ci... (Below threshold)

So, say one of our Texan citizens has a little trouble paying off his new taxes, so he slips across the border to do a little yard work on your side. If he gets injured, he does get health care in Mexico, doesn't he?

No comprende, senor...

Obama: "Mi casa es su casa"... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Obama: "Mi casa es su casa" -- and I really mean that!

"What do you mean,"Are you ... (Below threshold)

"What do you mean,"Are you gay"......"

Taco Bell? oh...the nearest... (Below threshold)

Taco Bell? oh...the nearest one is at 14th and U ST...

Thanks to the special telep... (Below threshold)

Thanks to the special teleprompter windows in his magic bus, Obama was able to carry on a conversation with the Mexican president.

I've been heavily criticize... (Below threshold)

I've been heavily criticized and embarrassed for gifting the British PM a set of DVD's he can't watch, the Queen my book she doesn't want to read and the Indian premier a side of beef he can't eat.
So, before I give you California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas, el Presidente, I need your assurance that you can and will use them.

Hmmm we're having Mexican..... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Hmmm we're having Mexican...

No,no...we really do want t... (Below threshold)

No,no...we really do want the American Southwest back.

What? You thought we were really interested in dialog?

That's funny, senor!

I don't think "A Day Withou... (Below threshold)

I don't think "A Day Without a Gringo" would make much sense in our country Barry...

Sorry. The bus is a little ... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Sorry. The bus is a little slow with all the people I have thrown under there.

Showcasing the GM/US Motors... (Below threshold)

Showcasing the GM/US Motors all electric vehicle.
And the expected ridership.

The two red dots behind my ... (Below threshold)
Mark W:

The two red dots behind my head? You know, I used to worry about the red dots around me too, but even the secret service is starting to tell me not to worry about them.

I can feel it, comin' in th... (Below threshold)

I can feel it, comin' in the air tonight, oh Lord
I've been waitin' for this moment, for all my life, oh Lord
Can you feel it comin' in the air tonight, oh Lord?
Oh Lord

BHO: "As soon as you are no... (Below threshold)

BHO: "As soon as you are no longer useful to me, I'll be throwing you under the bus."

Presidente Calderone: "I ta... (Below threshold)

Presidente Calderone: "I tawt de Kobay beeef were like you, El Presidente; well dun on de outside but berry, berry red in de center."

Obama: "I've upgraded my bu... (Below threshold)

Obama: "I've upgraded my bus to a trolley. It's much heavier, so be careful what you say."

On the train to nowhere....... (Below threshold)

On the train to nowhere....

Can you ease up on the leaf... (Below threshold)

Can you ease up on the leaf blower at six in the morning? I was up late working on my putting.

BHO: "Aye, yi-yi-yi, I am d... (Below threshold)

BHO: "Aye, yi-yi-yi, I am de Freedom Bandito.."

Wrong church, Wright prophe... (Below threshold)

Wrong church, Wright prophet.

A street car named undesire... (Below threshold)

A street car named undesire~

'Prince of Darkness'?</b... (Below threshold)
DJ Drummond:

'Prince of Darkness'?

Try 'President of Darkness'!

Obama - "So Felipe, once yo... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama - "So Felipe, once you deport all your opposition's voters to the US we can make them citizens and they can vote for me. It is a win win"

Obama - "The drug smugglers... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama - "The drug smugglers are a real problem"

Felipe - "We stop as many as we can"

Obama - "Well the quality of the mexican coke I have been getting has been really going down lately"

Obama - "As you can see Fel... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama - "As you can see Felipe, now that I am President, the whites have to ride in the back of the bus"

Felipe - "That was a massiv... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Felipe - "That was a massive bump we hit no?"

Obama - "yeah, we just went over Rev Wright"

Don't worry. No one ever as... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Don't worry. No one ever asks for a ticket or boarding pass here. This train is a free ride...

Calderón: "I think you're ... (Below threshold)
P. Bunyan:

Calderón: "I think you're ignoring the '800 pound gorilla in the room'."

Obama: "I'm not ignoring my wife... I just don't like to look at her."

Felipe: "Su casa es mi casa... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Felipe: "Su casa es mi casa"

Imagine this aisle down the... (Below threshold)

Imagine this aisle down the middle is the border between our two countries, only not as difficult to cross...

Playing hookie with the woo... (Below threshold)

Playing hookie with the wookie

"I've sat in pews before! A... (Below threshold)

"I've sat in pews before! And whitey, these aint no pews!

I see dead people!... (Below threshold)

I see dead people!

Okay, you can have Californ... (Below threshold)

Okay, you can have California, but Arizona's gonna be a problem.

Felipe - "Mr President this... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Felipe - "Mr President this bus is much nicer than we have in Mexico"

Obama - "Well we have to keep expanding it with all the people that are going under it."

There is an important quest... (Below threshold)

There is an important question that I have been wanting to pose to the leader of Mexico for sometime now. Can all of the Chihuahuas in Mexico speak like the one on the Taco Bell commercials?

And so I told him, "Stop th... (Below threshold)
Natty Dark:

And so I told him, "Stop the finger-pointing!"

"Ive met hustlers ... (Below threshold)

"Ive met hustlers before, but this one has no class"

Can we register them as dem... (Below threshold)
just bob:

Can we register them as democrats before they leave Mexico?

Ha hahahaahahaha... (Below threshold)

Ha hahahaahahaha

Obama: "What would I do if ... (Below threshold)
Dodo David:

Obama: "What would I do if I discovered that there were two undocumented Mexicans riding on this trolley? I don't know, Felipe. Why do you ask?"

No class, no balls, no serv... (Below threshold)

No class, no balls, no service!

SHAMTRAK - Dare to ride ... (Below threshold)

SHAMTRAK - Dare to ride the rail

"Pardon me.... Do you have ... (Below threshold)

"Pardon me.... Do you have any Grey Poupon?"

"Papers? I don't need no st... (Below threshold)

"Papers? I don't need no stinkin' papers."

"STELLA!!!"... (Below threshold)


"...and now you'll see why ... (Below threshold)

"...and now you'll see why Rahm calls me... El Chorizo Grande..."

Felipe, after the hard left... (Below threshold)

Felipe, after the hard left turn up ahead you and your lovely wife will have to exit the trolley before it crosses into Arizona.

Streetcar Named Denial... (Below threshold)
Michael Hamm:

Streetcar Named Denial

...and that's where I play ... (Below threshold)

...and that's where I play golf... and that's my basketball court... and that's where I plot my next move to destroy America.

Obama: "I'm sorry, Felipe, ... (Below threshold)
Dodo David:

Obama: "I'm sorry, Felipe, but I can't arrange for your illegal-immigrant relatives to be granted asylum. I can only do that for my own illegal-immigrant relatives."

[NYTimes headline: Obama's Aunt Is Granted Asylum]

"When Biden comes in on his... (Below threshold)

"When Biden comes in on his knees sayin', "de train, boss, de train," it's just best to ignore him."

Putting the Loco in Locomot... (Below threshold)

Putting the Loco in Locomotive, since 2009.

"Release the Barack'n,</... (Below threshold)

"Release the Barack'n,... That's good Felipe, can I use it? I'll have Rahm add it to the TOTUS."

This is the Polar Express, ... (Below threshold)
Robert Koslover:

This is the Polar Express, right? So why the hell are you saying I can't have waiters dancing on the ceiling?

"Y'know, I got a diebold ri... (Below threshold)

"Y'know, I got a diebold right out back!"

Obama--"Hey, this reminds m... (Below threshold)
Joe Miller:

Obama--"Hey, this reminds me of something...oh yeah, the movie Dreamscape. It starts with the President on a subway car and ends with a mushroom cloud. I love that movie!"

Barack: "Can we stand... I ... (Below threshold)

Barack: "Can we stand... I really feel the urge to bow to you right now."

We have to work together to... (Below threshold)

We have to work together to keep your shithole country as is so all those future dem voters can come here without any papers, carrying all those diseases that will eventually kill off all those old white conservative people.

Barack: "I'm very sorry, I ... (Below threshold)

Barack: "I'm very sorry, I promise that Biden won't refer to dessert as Pie Alamo, again."

"..umm, and then there's Lo... (Below threshold)

"..umm, and then there's Los Stupidos down the street - I hear they make a great gringo burger..."

Hey Caldy, that was a nice ... (Below threshold)

Hey Caldy, that was a nice rip! That Mexican food really tears yo ass up, yo. Check dis one out.

So what you're telling me i... (Below threshold)

So what you're telling me is I can have my coke delivered right to my door? And the only thing I have to do is to ignore the fact your people are breaking our laws and are trespassing, murdering and raping our citizens and stealing our jobs? And I wouldn't be acting stupidly? Done.

"Okay then Felipe, we have ... (Below threshold)

"Okay then Felipe, we have a deal. Arizona, New Mexico, California, and Texas, in return for a life-time supply of high-quality blow for me and the missus."

"Badges? I don't have to sh... (Below threshold)

"Badges? I don't have to show you any badges...we don't have to show you any stinking badges"

OK let's try it one more ti... (Below threshold)

OK let's try it one more time - Michelle will do the Judy Garland part - 1, 2, 3

"Chug, chug, chug went the motor
Plop, plop, plop went the wheels
Stop, stop, stop went my heartstrings
As he started to go then I started to know how it feels
When the universe reels"

♬One toke o... (Below threshold)

One toke over the line,
Felipe de Jesus,
One toke over the line

"I also, President Obama, v... (Below threshold)

"I also, President Obama, value our country's special relationship with your country. And thank you again for the farting, sombrero shaped bean dip bowl."

Michelle: "Then that little... (Below threshold)

Michelle: "Then that little girl says, 'but my mama ain't got no papers,' and I says, 'That's OK dear, neither does my husband.'"

"Got a light?"... (Below threshold)

"Got a light?"

"No, Joe couldn't make it, ... (Below threshold)

"No, Joe couldn't make it, the engineer said he could drive the choo choo."

This train is taking us all... (Below threshold)

This train is taking us all straight to Hell, MICHIGAN, right?!?!?!

You know mr calderon, i nev... (Below threshold)

You know mr calderon, i never expected to train to hell would be so luxurious.

"So, I'll just issue an Exe... (Below threshold)
Maggie Gara:

"So, I'll just issue an Executive Order saying that all border crossings must now be black-tie affairs and just bus your cheap labor in."

Stupidity knows no borders!... (Below threshold)

Stupidity knows no borders!

Look Caldy, we ain't gettin... (Below threshold)

Look Caldy, we ain't gettin now where till you stop makin fun of my wife's face. She can't help it if her lower jaw sticken out the way it does make her face look lika a cash register wif the drawer open.

Back then I told Rosa Parks... (Below threshold)

Back then I told Rosa Parks that if she....

Make sure you clean the toi... (Below threshold)

Make sure you clean the toilets daily.

Train of fools on the road ... (Below threshold)

Train of fools on the road to nowhere. mpw

"Have you ever done it on a... (Below threshold)

"Have you ever done it on a real train?"

Before the cock crows thric... (Below threshold)

Before the cock crows thrice, he'll deny he was there.

A Streetcar Named Despair..... (Below threshold)

A Streetcar Named Despair...

Hold on tight! You see, we... (Below threshold)

Hold on tight! You see, we're now going to show that the light at the end of the tunnel really is an oncoming train!

Presidente Clouseau: "Don't... (Below threshold)

Presidente Clouseau: "Don't say 'si' are screwed', say 'oui' are screwed."

The Wheels on the Bus go UP... (Below threshold)

The Wheels on the Bus go UP and DOWN.
UP and DOWN, UP and DOWN.

The Wheels on the Bush go UP and DOWN,
Over the BODIES thrown on the GROUND!

Presidente Calderone: "We a... (Below threshold)

Presidente Calderone: "We are not so far apart, no?"
Chauncey Obama: "Si, our borders are almost not touching".



What is your name? "Phillipe Calderone".
What is your quest? "The abolition of racial profiling".
What is Mexican policy on illegal immigration with nations on your south border? "HUH"?

[Presidente Calderone is cast into the Fiery Pit of Sophistry.]

Obama - "Felipe what is the... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama - "Felipe what is the main difference you see between our countries"

Felipe "In my country the bus has people in it and not under it"

Obama: Seriously, you'll p... (Below threshold)

Obama: Seriously, you'll put up your nasty skunkweed against what comes out of Humbolt County? Dude, you are delusional.

"Why, yes, Mr. Calderon, th... (Below threshold)

"Why, yes, Mr. Calderon, that is AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" coming over the speakers...."

"Do you like it, Mr. C? Ins... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

"Do you like it, Mr. C? Instead of traveling over scorching desert while dodging rattlesnakes and scorpions, we thought we'd just bring folks over in this nice, airy trolley. We'll even serve a five-course meal while we grant them instant citizenship even if they don't have papers!"

"Like how I pimped out the ... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

"Like how I pimped out the presidential limo?"

Yes I am a finger pointer. ... (Below threshold)
Bill Shives:

Yes I am a finger pointer. Now this is the finger i use to call out those teabaggers . it is very effective in getting my point across.

Then we'll make all the WHI... (Below threshold)

Then we'll make all the WHITE people sit in the back.

There I am, explaining that... (Below threshold)
Barack Obama:

There I am, explaining that even though I am black, my dick is only that big.

Barack Hussein Obama
President of the United States

Felipe - "So you gave the u... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Felipe - "So you gave the unions $100B and you are only getting $100m back to help your reelection? I get a bigger cut from the drug trafficers and coyotes"

Felipe m- "I can see Arizon... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Felipe m- "I can see Arizona from my house"

Obama - "You're right Felip... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama - "You're right Felipe, I did forget to apologize for America's wrongdoing during the press conference. It's just that when I saw that rat crawling in front of the podium I thought someone let Henry Waxman out by mistake"

Obama - "So Felipe, you say... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Obama - "So Felipe, you say you have someone that will take care of the rats in the White House on the cheap?"

Felipe - "Si, but you have to pay them in cash"

Obama - "Cool, I can use the "Jobs that Americans wont do " line in my next speech"

BHO: "Si. I rested on day '... (Below threshold)

BHO: "Si. I rested on day 'siete'".

No, Felipe, this trolley do... (Below threshold)

No, Felipe, this trolley doesn't stop in Aztlan. Why do you ask?

Presidente Calderone: "I sm... (Below threshold)

Presidente Calderone: "I smell sulfur."
Presidente El Diablo: "I don't smell anything."

Poncho and Leftie.... (Below threshold)

Poncho and Leftie.

Calderone: "You are de clea... (Below threshold)

Calderone: "You are de cleanist, mosd articulad negro man, I hab eber meet."

Obama: Did you say in Spani... (Below threshold)

Obama: Did you say in Spanish that I was "full of 'sevens'"?
Calderone: No. I was speaking in English.

Coming soon to theaters, "D... (Below threshold)

Coming soon to theaters, "Dumb & Dumber: Affirmative Action Edition."

The Hellbound Train.... (Below threshold)

The Hellbound Train.

Barry: "So let me get this... (Below threshold)

Barry: "So let me get this straight, Feli-pay, you people speak Mexican down there, right?

We'll make them ride in the... (Below threshold)

We'll make them ride in the back of the bus.

I see dummycrats!... (Below threshold)

I see dummycrats!

Ok, lets see/If it... (Below threshold)

Ok, lets see/

If it gets any stupider then this, I 'll run for office!

America needs to stop point... (Below threshold)

America needs to stop pointing fingers and doing the "homophobe seating" thing...after tonight.

We're just waiting for the ... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

We're just waiting for the whites to be seated
in the back. Everyone have his "E" ticket

It's the smallest church in... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

It's the smallest church in the world, Presi-
dente Calderon.... when he gets goin', Rev.
Wright be bustin' some smug white ass. I wore
earplugs for 20 years. Here's a pair for you
and your main squeeze.

So we're going down into th... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

So we're going down into the deepest coal mine
in West Virginia....probably half a mile.
Don't worry... Wagyu beef, lobster salad,
and the Dom Perignon are in the car ahead.
The Press will NOT be present. The Boston
Pops orchestra will.

I thought the Clintons woul... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

I thought the Clintons would pick a, you know,
slightly bigger church for Chelsea's wedding.
Well, times ARE tough........

These unisex bathrooms are ... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

These unisex bathrooms are da BOMB!

Here at the White House we ... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

Here at the White House we call it the SOUL
TRAIN. Aretha Franklin will be asking for your ticket right after the piped-in
Marvin Gaye track ends.

Obama: "Lemme try again. <i... (Below threshold)

Obama: "Lemme try again. 'America, vete a la CHINGada!"

Calderon: "No no no. You still putta accent all wrong. Amerrrica, vete a la chingADA! And you use meedle feenger."

Felipe - "Mr President, I h... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Felipe - "Mr President, I have heard that your favorite movie is Jaws"

Obama - "Yeah, We're gonna need a bigger bus"

Felipe m- "I can s... (Below threshold)
Felipe m- "I can see Arizona from my house"
That's hilarious retired military.
America's first couple shar... (Below threshold)

America's first couple share a private moment with Barack and Michelle Obama.

The Obama administration ro... (Below threshold)
Anon Y. Mous:

The Obama administration rolls out its latest economic program with the slogan, "Let's party like it's 1929!"

Update: <... (Below threshold)
Kevin Author Profile Page:

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.






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