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Omnipotent moral busybodies now meddling in children's friendships

CS Lewis once said, "Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience."

No where have I seen a more salient example of tyrannical omnipotent moral busybodies than those who have decided that children should not have best friends:

But increasingly, some educators and other professionals who work with children are asking a question that might surprise their parents: Should a child really have a best friend?

Most children naturally seek close friends. In a survey of nearly 3,000 Americans ages 8 to 24 conducted last year by Harris Interactive, 94 percent said they had at least one close friend. But the classic best-friend bond -- the two special pals who share secrets and exploits, who gravitate to each other on the playground and who head out the door together every day after school -- signals potential trouble for school officials intent on discouraging anything that hints of exclusivity, in part because of concerns about cliques and bullying.

"I think it is kids' preference to pair up and have that one best friend. As adults -- teachers and counselors -- we try to encourage them not to do that," said Christine Laycob, director of counseling at Mary Institute and St. Louis Country Day School in St. Louis. "We try to talk to kids and work with them to get them to have big groups of friends and not be so possessive about friends."

"Parents sometimes say Johnny needs that one special friend," she continued. "We say he doesn't need a best friend."

This is beyond stupid; it's dangerous. Best friends are an integral part of childhood. The bond a child develops with a best friend helps him or her and the best friend develop and mature emotionally. Even if a best friendship should suffer a break, it is a learning experience that helps those children become more emotionally well-rounded. And each successive best friend experience provides a new level of development that children take with them as they grow into emotionally mature adults.

Besides, our culture has become far too superficial already. Take sex for example. There was a time when sex had a deeply emotional meaning to it, so it was done only within the confines of an emotionally fulfilling and committed relationship. Today, however, adults and even teenagers engage in it as if were nothing more than a handshake.

I also agree with the Anchoress's view on this new no best friends movement.


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Comments (21)

"Educators" and the NEA are... (Below threshold)

"Educators" and the NEA are the biggest threat to America today. Bigger and more dangerous than muslim terrorists, bigger than Envirowackos, and bigger than that jug eared community organizer.

Hmph. Seems to me the thin... (Below threshold)
James H:

Hmph. Seems to me the thing to do is to set up situations in which children can socialize with as many people as possible -- recess, group play, that sort of thing -- and when it comes to schoolwork to occasionally pair children with kids they don't socialize with very much.

Nothing tyrannical about that ...

Remember the german youth ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Remember the german youth movement where kids were encouraged to snitch on their friends, family and even parents.

If you have no friends than it is easier to report them to the state.

Thank you James, for provin... (Below threshold)
Geoffrey Britain:

Thank you James, for proving Kim's point.

We're watching the left commit societal suicide before our very eyes; neither Fathers nor Mothers needed. Everybody part of a victim class, except for the soft racism of white males. Cowardly appeasement of radical Islamic terrorists. Gullibility in trusting that unilateral disarmament will be met by Russia and China.

Destroying the institution of marriage by refusing to see that if banning two men from marrying is discrimination, then so is any other banned arrangement. Societal cohesion is lost, future generations the victims of social experimentation and when societal cohesion is lost it invites the barbarian's to the gate.

Indoctrinating children into hate for their heritage. Redistribution of financial assets and income. The emasculation of American business with Cap & Trade. The coming attempt to stop free speech on the Internet.

A mathematically unsustainable entitlement system.

The list goes on and on.

And like lemmings racing for the cliff's edge, the James and Lee's refuse to see, all the while yelling "la'la'la, I can't hear you!" to block out the warnings.

They shall have much to answer for, when they face their maker.

These are probably the same... (Below threshold)

These are probably the same 'educators' who believe that math is 'relative'. 1+1=5 if you want it to.

Does anybody ever lreally i... (Below threshold)

Does anybody ever lreally isten to these moronic so-called "experts"? I don't.

What's really going on here... (Below threshold)

What's really going on here is the losers who thought this up done have friends of any kind and they're jealous. In the generation 10 years or so younger than my friends and I (-60)people don't have really close friends. People they can trust. Must be sad.

There was a time w... (Below threshold)
Senor Cardgage:
There was a time when sex had a deeply emotional meaning to it, so it was done only within the confines of an emotionally fulfilling and committed relationship.

Were you born in a Doris Day movie?

Seriously, I know I'm a cynical bastard, but nobody could truly be this naïve.

Admin: There was a time when sex meant a lot more than it does today. It isn't naïve to admit that.

I don't care if you are 2 o... (Below threshold)

I don't care if you are 2 or 102, everyone needs a best friend to confide in, someone they ultimately can trust. Cliques and bullying are all apart of growing up. It teaches us early on that life sometimes is not fair and not always sunshine and lollipops. It teaches us how to deal with conflict. Something the last few generations know nothing about because they learn in school how to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and bad decision making. It's simply never my fault!

Senor Cardgage,Wel... (Below threshold)
Sky Captain:

Senor Cardgage,

Well, you have one here. And it is not naivete - it is how one was raised, the friendship their parents have, and finding the love of their life.

This is beyond stupid; i... (Below threshold)

This is beyond stupid; it's dangerous.

It came from liberals. What else would you expect?

Great re-direct, li'l bryan... (Below threshold)

Great re-direct, li'l bryanD -

Yet again a smooth-brainer directs away from the content of the article - which isn't fluff. The content is that another moron 'counselor' (person of authority) has declared thousands of years of normal behavior to be off-limits.

Re-read the verbiage of that brainless scrunt - "I think it is kids' preference to pair up and have that one best friend. As adults -- teachers and counselors -- we try to encourage them not to do that."

News flash to scrunt - kids aren't adult, and it's not the job of these Cracker-Jack University edu-tards to remove childhood from children.

Clearly a kid's - hell, eve... (Below threshold)
Jay Guevara:

Clearly a kid's - hell, everyone's - closest attachments should be to his commissar and block captain. Report counter-revolutionary activity immediately! The Party is your best friend.

This is so easy to explain,... (Below threshold)

This is so easy to explain, people. Liberals are much more likely, in their youth, to have suffered emotional abuse and social exclusion at home, at school, or at church. This has been studied.

What three institutions are they most active in opposing?

Any teachers who are friend... (Below threshold)

Any teachers who are friend might bully students, so they should be transferred or forced to retire.

James, you deftly sidestepp... (Below threshold)

James, you deftly sidestepped the point. The point is that they're actively discouraging children from having a best friend.

Of course there's nothing wrong with placing children in the situations you've described. We don't really want our children avoiding social situations that would benefit their development.

Admin: There was a... (Below threshold)
Senor Cardgage:
Admin: There was a time when sex meant a lot more than it does today.

No, there wasn't.

It isn't naïve to admit that.

Yes, it is.

(Is this the five-minute argument or the full half-hour?)

For the leftists it all boi... (Below threshold)
P. Bunyan:

For the leftists it all boils down to:



#11Stupid, dangero... (Below threshold)


Stupid, dangerous and hopelessly unselectable.

And I would expect we all pay for it!

"There was a time when sex ... (Below threshold)

"There was a time when sex had a deeply emotional meaning to it, so it was done only within the confines of an emotionally fulfilling and committed relationship."

As SC notes, there was never a time this was true for the majority of working class people EXCEPT for the possibility of Victorian England. Maybe. Probably not though. The idea that sex is precious and that it should ONLY be done with one's mate evolves from the fact that women are less able and consume more resources in any pre-industrial setting. Thus it was developed as a form of social control.

That being said, sex without any emotional connection is also a bad idea long term.

The reasoning behind this b... (Below threshold)

The reasoning behind this bit of lunacy is plainly obvious.

If you don't have a best friend, you're less likely to plot against ------.






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