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Sharing. That's What This Is All About.

Last week was one of historically sad proportions for me..

This past Friday, one of the proudest personal achievements of my life came to an end.

When it comes to nausea, I have an iron stomach. The "runs," that's a different story. (People call me Mount Saint Mallow)

Anyway, I must have caught a nasty little stomach bug last week, 'cause, for the first time since I was 5 years old, I threw-up.

Thankfully, it was projectile vomiting, and not some drawn out, heaving all-day horror.

And it was just one time.

In any event, it was traumatic.

For last time it happened, I was a wee one. Not a care in the world.

I remember it vividly. It was a sparkling fall day. I was walking with my parents outside the Ocean County court house, and had just finished a pack of yummy M&Ms.

Suddenly, I felt a bizarre sensation: Queasy tummy, dizzy, with a cold/hot sweat.

Before I knew it, I barfed in a bayberry shrub that lined the sidewalk.

I was horrified. From then on, I made a pact with myself never to vomit again.

I've held true to that pact ever since. Had every other gastro-intestinal event, no matter whether it was caused by a virus, food, or too much booze.

Then came Friday.

I tried all my tricks: Seltzer, "Tummy Mint" tea, Mylanta, Pepto, praying over my bloated stomach.

It was all for naught.

I stared into the toilet, and before I knew it, my record was shattered.

Thankfully, it only happened once. And just as thankfully, I felt better immediately. (I'll spare you the contents.)

For the next couple of days, though, it felt like someone took a sledge-hammer to every joint in my body.

All around, it's been a tumultuous year for me.

I busted my back at work in May of '09. Had three surgeries in six months. Back is still a wreck, and my future is very uncertain.

But this was one heart-breaking event.

In one second, a record of 33 years literally went down the drain.

It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it.


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Comments (16)

You didn't, per chance, con... (Below threshold)
Alan Orfi:

You didn't, per chance, consume a black-and-white cookie last week?

You should probably stop wr... (Below threshold)
Senor Cardgage:

You should probably stop writing; remember what happened to Grunthos.

Alan,No black and ... (Below threshold)


No black and white cookie.

But I know the Seinfeld episode of which you speak.

I've seen that one a couple of times and always knocked on wood after for good luck.


Well, I hope you feel bette... (Below threshold)

Well, I hope you feel better after getting that out of your system...


You never have been drunk e... (Below threshold)

You never have been drunk enough to worship at the porcelain altar have you...

I also bet you've never had one of the nastier varieties of flu that roll through. The kind that turns you into a firehose on either end and makes you feel like someone fine tuned your body with a 2x4...

Let's never bring it up aga... (Below threshold)

Let's never bring it up again.

You have ignored the porcel... (Below threshold)

You have ignored the porcelain goddess and she has exacted penance, bringing you to your knees in worship of her power over all things excreted or propelled from the human body. Blessed be the puke, cleanser of the inner man. Go and heave no more.

ShawnYou have live a... (Below threshold)

You have live a too shelter life. Passing on strange food, some that end up giving you food poison, not pushing you body to its limit wither it simple physical exertion or humping through the jungle on time constraint mission with little water. Visiting places that are off the tourist beat where you likely to pick up a strange flu.

Don't get upset I'm just having fun with you. People are proud of many things and as I usually say "to each their own". It just cracks me up when people brag about not having scares, breaking a bone, etc. To someone like me, that means you haven't live life enough. However like I said already "to each their own".

Lucky bastard. Have a kid a... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Lucky bastard. Have a kid and that'll change.

Last summer, The Boy, The Wife and Yours Truly all got sick in a 24-hour period. The Boy, 9 times. The Wife, 10, and Yours Truly 13. I haven't gone near a Taco Bell since.

On more than one occasion, ... (Below threshold)

On more than one occasion, I've had the stomach flu (gastroenteritis) where I end up needing to purge from both directions at once. That's when you learn how to prioritize damned fast.


Im closing in. Date with J... (Below threshold)

Im closing in. Date with Jim Bean in 1979 at college was my last gastric expulsion.

I suspect under Obamacare t... (Below threshold)
Don L:

I suspect under Obamacare this little incident puts you in catagory C-4. Which means when the bureacratic code is broken, you get one more chance at exhibiting perfect health and then after that if you fail no one will see(C) you for(4) a long, long, time....

JT, what a hoot. Very funny... (Below threshold)

JT, what a hoot. Very funny.

Shawn, I am still holding onto my record of 47 years. I recently had major back surgery which last 12 hours. Fusions, metal, screws, clamps, etc. Very difficult surgery to recover from. IT took an enourmous amount of willpower to try to stand up, use the bathroom, etc. Well, after the twelve hour surgery, I must have picked up a bug and had the runs for two days. The pain in my back going to the porta-john was incredible. I refused a bed pan. That was two months ago. All during the hospital stay I was nauseated to the point of almost vomiting but I held out. Here is is two months later, still have pain but not near as bad and am feeling somewhat optimistic. I cannot drive yet. Cannot BLT. Bend, lift or twist. But overall, I am encouraged. So, having had a bad back for a number of years and tried everything but surgery for most of those years, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there.

Sorry for going on. ww

Had a double hernia repaire... (Below threshold)

Had a double hernia repaired endoscopically on an outpatient basis - they put me under completely, and in recovery I refused the phenergan anti-nausea shot. The nausea wasn't all that bad, you know? Until my wife got me home, and I got into the bedroom - and had to stagger to the bathroom to empty my already empty stomach. The nausea crested and ebbed for the next 36 hours, beating anything we could do (including phenergan suppositories we had for the little guy) and towards the end of it I was bringing up dark green bile.

Now, as unpleasant as the upchucking was, think about doing it IMMEDIATELY after a mesh implant, and NOT being able to keep down pain meds.

It was memorable.

Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentl... (Below threshold)
Jim Addison:

Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen (and I use the honorific in its loosest possible sense)!

With all due respect to the heartfelt sincerity of your narratives, I feel compelled to point out that society has certain boundaries which exist for valid reasons - not to constrain freedom or institute tyranny, but rather to corral public discourse into channels which do not offend the delicate sensibilities of, say, normal human beings.

As the young folks say nowadays, "TOO MUCH INFORMATION!"

Damn, for a minute I though... (Below threshold)

Damn, for a minute I thought this was a medical blog, 'til Jim A woke me up.

But really Jim, this is less "Too Much Information" than some of the stuff about the current administration that gets published, as far as the gross out effect goes.






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