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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Actress Lindsay Lohan, left, reacts with her attorney Shawn Chapman Holley after the sentencing by Superior Court Judge Marsha Reve during a hearing in Beverly Hills, Calif., Tuesday, July 6, 2010. The judge sentenced Lindsay Lohan to 90 days in jail Tuesday after ruling she violated probation in a 2007 drug case by failing to attend court-ordered alcohol education classes. (AP Photo/David McNew)

Winners for last weeks contest as well as this weeks will be announced Monday morning.

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.


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Comments (124)

Tell her she can't send me ... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

Tell her she can't send me to jail cause I'm a star.

"It was my f**king twin fro... (Below threshold)

"It was my f**king twin from England, I swear!"

But, but, but "I was in Mor... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

But, but, but "I was in Morocco working with children, it wasn't a vacation, it wasn't some sort of joke."

(Now how can we top her own words!)

It was Bush's fault.... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

It was Bush's fault.

I HAD to leave the country.... (Below threshold)

I HAD to leave the country. That crazed sex poodle was begging me to release his second chakra again or the planet would die...

And yet James O'Keef... (Below threshold)
Adrian Browne:

And yet James O'Keefe walks around a free person.

What do you mean we cant do... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

What do you mean we cant do this on ESPN?

I need a screwdriver and I ... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

I need a screwdriver and I need it now.

But WHY would Yogurt un-fri... (Below threshold)

But WHY would Yogurt un-friend me in FB??

How about a prisoner trade ... (Below threshold)

How about a prisoner trade with France? They've got Roman Polanski, don't they?

Think about it as Mean Girl... (Below threshold)

Think about it as Mean Girls.

But for real this time.

Though balloon, Atty Holley... (Below threshold)
Upset Old Guy:

Though balloon, Atty Holley: She blobs on my shoes in court and then wants me to "fix-it" with the judge, this girl is so gone.

Mean Girls.This ti... (Below threshold)

Mean Girls.

This time it's real.

Tell them I'm a Black Panth... (Below threshold)

Tell them I'm a Black Panther.

Then, they'd have to let me go. Right?

Do you know I was banned fr... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Do you know I was banned from Wizbang???

Rioting broke out in West H... (Below threshold)

Rioting broke out in West Hollywood when the verdict was announced. Rodeo Drive looks like a war zone.

But.... How could he give m... (Below threshold)

But.... How could he give me jail time? Didn't the judge get the offer I made him on my fingernail?

WHAT!!!! I also have to lis... (Below threshold)

WHAT!!!! I also have to listen to ninety hours of the audacity of hope when I'm in the joint...better get me some joints!!

Any chance we can work out ... (Below threshold)

Any chance we can work out a trade with Russia for the redhead?

A priest, a rabbi and a BP ... (Below threshold)
Texas Tom:

A priest, a rabbi and a BP exec walk into a bar.
They buy me a drink...no...wait...how does that go again?

"Jail? But, I'm a democrat!... (Below threshold)
Mark W:

"Jail? But, I'm a democrat!"

"Do you and Michelle Obama ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"Do you and Michelle Obama work out together. You biceps are awesome"

An Obama supporter goes to ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

An Obama supporter goes to jail - I guess Holderer was asleep at the wheel.

If I promise to show up at ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

If I promise to show up at a Beverly Hills polling place in Nov with a billy club do you think they will let me go for now.

In an alternate sex changin... (Below threshold)
retired military:

In an alternate sex changing universe the Rev Lee Ward Wright looks with awe upon his hero Barrack Obama.

No I didn't. Honest... I ra... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

No I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD.

I am so screwed all because... (Below threshold)
geo Author Profile Page:

I am so screwed all because I wanted to help the children understand what drugs can do to you.

Miss D'Meaner ... (Below threshold)

Miss D'Meaner

"Dont look so serious. I'm... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"Dont look so serious. I'm a star. They wouldnt dare put me in jail"




"So what time do the bars i... (Below threshold)

"So what time do the bars in prison close?"

"Close? Lindsay, there aren't any bars or nightclubs in prison..."


But he promised me hope and... (Below threshold)

But he promised me hope and change.

But... but... I'm a Democra... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

But... but... I'm a Democrat!... I'm not supposed to have to face consequences.

"I can bring my coke....rig... (Below threshold)

"I can bring my coke....right....?"

Ain't liberalism grand?... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Ain't liberalism grand?

"I coulda had class. I coul... (Below threshold)

"I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it!"

This is all Bush's fault!</... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

This is all Bush's fault!

I should have swallowed the... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

I should have swallowed the blue pill.

The look that speaks to the... (Below threshold)

The look that speaks to the knowledge that she really IS about to become someone's bitch.

They're just doing this to ... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

They're just doing this to me because you're black.

"I swear I will pay all my... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"I swear I will pay all my back tanning taxes. really I will".

"They're only putting me in... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"They're only putting me in jail because there is a black man in the White House"

Lawyer _ "Quiet Lee"

Lohan: "The judge can't do ... (Below threshold)
Dodo David:

Lohan: "The judge can't do this to me. Doesn't she know that it will ruin my acting career?"
Attorney: "What acting career?"

"You're black. Cant you ch... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"You're black. Cant you channel Johnie Cochran or something? Work with me here"

"90 days in jail?? Come on... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"90 days in jail?? Come on, where's the cameras? I'm on that TV Show Punked right? Right??? RIGHT?????"

The ageless look of liberal... (Below threshold)
retired military:

The ageless look of liberalism when they cant believe that reality has slapped them in the face yet again.

"Ninety days without alcoho... (Below threshold)

"Ninety days without alcohol or drugs??? I can't do that! That's like, what, a whole 4 or 5 weeks, right?"

Refuting claims that he bla... (Below threshold)
DJ Drummond:

Refuting claims that he blames Bush for all his problems, President Obama today blamed the BP disaster on Lindsay Lohan.

But, I'm a shovel-ready pro... (Below threshold)

But, I'm a shovel-ready project. Can't I get a government bail-out?

But I'm too big to fail! Do... (Below threshold)

But I'm too big to fail! Does Barney Frank know about this?

"You tell the judge, I was ... (Below threshold)
Upset Old Guy:

"You tell the judge, I was applying for the post of Drug Czar. This is how you do these things for the Obama Administration. The judge is making a mistake. I'm not supposed to go to jail, I'm supposed to get the job."

but I've already tried that... (Below threshold)
just bob:

but I've already tried that girl on girl thing, this is'nt going to teach me anything.

"Gimme a break! I drank. I ... (Below threshold)
Rachel Edith:

"Gimme a break! I drank. I drugged. But I told Al Gore 'No freakin' way!'"

"you ain't mother f*cking S... (Below threshold)

"you ain't mother f*cking Sally Field, they don't really like you... and I don't like you either."

From Parent Trap to ... (Below threshold)

From Parent Trap to Apparent Crap

"...no really, I'm the g... (Below threshold)

"...no really, I'm the good twin!!!!"

"But they told me Obama was... (Below threshold)

"But they told me Obama was competent and super duper smart! Now there isn't an acting job in sight!"

Lawyer: "Just think of it a... (Below threshold)

Lawyer: "Just think of it as prep work for Scream 4"

I clicked my heels three ti... (Below threshold)

I clicked my heels three times and I'm still here. Where's Toto?

Who's going to do my nails?... (Below threshold)

Who's going to do my nails?

"Guess I picked the wrong w... (Below threshold)

"Guess I picked the wrong week to give up sniffing glue."

WHAT!! You mean it's not li... (Below threshold)

WHAT!! You mean it's not like in the movies? I can't get crack in prison?!?!?! What am I going to do?!?!

"I voted for Obama! He'll g... (Below threshold)

"I voted for Obama! He'll give me a pardon right? At least I think I voted. I CAN'T REMEMBER THAT FAR BACK!"

"So you have a lot of relat... (Below threshold)

"So you have a lot of relatives in prison to watch my back, right?"

That dumb-ass judge don't k... (Below threshold)
jerry evans:

That dumb-ass judge don't know who she's screwing with. Didn't you tell her I'm Lindsey Lohan?

Sober for the first time si... (Below threshold)

Sober for the first time since early 2008, Lindsay Lohan is finally able to comprehend that Barack Obama really is the President.

I'd still do Her.... (Below threshold)

I'd still do Her.

"Sober? I don't even know h... (Below threshold)

"Sober? I don't even know her."

"Ebony and sobbery, living ... (Below threshold)

"Ebony and sobbery, living together in perfect harmony".

"But Lebron can't leave Cle... (Below threshold)

"But Lebron can't leave Cleveland!"

Why won't you look at me!<b... (Below threshold)
Texas Tom:

Why won't you look at me!
I think your kind make great lawyers!
We can go for some fried chicken if you get me off!

Damn I wanted to be comment... (Below threshold)

Damn I wanted to be comment # 69..

Tell the judge, Herbie was ... (Below threshold)

Tell the judge, Herbie was driving, I was just drinking in the driver seat.

"...but I didn't ask the ju... (Below threshold)

"...but I didn't ask the judge to pull that finger."

Lawyer: "I'm dropping this ... (Below threshold)

Lawyer: "I'm dropping this nut job in 3...2...1...."

90 days!!! But that's....th... (Below threshold)

90 days!!! But that's....that's....that's like 3 rehabs, 2 DUIs, 4 coke binges and 6 relationships long!

Line!... (Below threshold)
Natty Dark:


You're BLACK, get Holder on... (Below threshold)

You're BLACK, get Holder on the phone! I want a DOJ investigation!

You're black; Obama's black... (Below threshold)

You're black; Obama's black!! I thought we were a shoe-in!!

"Really, don't you think I ... (Below threshold)

"Really, don't you think I should get an Oscar nomination for my courtroom performance?"

"JAIL! Oh God, I think I ju... (Below threshold)

"JAIL! Oh God, I think I just had an uncontrolled bowel movement!"

"Please, please! Tell that ... (Below threshold)

"Please, please! Tell that judge not to put me in a cell with any nappy-headed hos!"

Please mister please, dont ... (Below threshold)

Please mister please, dont play B 17, it was his song it was our song but its oooooveeerrr! Please mister please, if you know what I mean.

I dont ever want to see this judge again.

CTRL..ALT...DELETE... (Below threshold)


New York Post: "LiLo Laid L... (Below threshold)

New York Post: "LiLo Laid Lo"

Lohan breaks down as she re... (Below threshold)

Lohan breaks down as she realizes her life's purpose is to serve as the Bad Example.

They have bars in prison, r... (Below threshold)

They have bars in prison, right?

(stealing a bit from JP #31)

Lohan models the new fall l... (Below threshold)

Lohan models the new fall look that all liberals will be wearing after Election Day 2010.

Looks like stripes will be ... (Below threshold)

Looks like stripes will be in fashion this fall.

"They cant find me guilty o... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"They cant find me guilty of something when I was too drunk to realize what I was doing can they?"

"Why didn't you tell me abo... (Below threshold)
David Spence:

"Why didn't you tell me about that tanning salon tax?"

"I'm the one going to priso... (Below threshold)

"I'm the one going to prison... and you're the one that's the lawyer... why are you asking me if I'm a cunning linguist?"

What do you call putting a ... (Below threshold)

What do you call putting a Hollywood star like Lindsay Lohan in prison? A good start.

"But...but...he seemed so <... (Below threshold)
Jay Guevara:

"But...but...he seemed so clean, so ... articulate!"

"That judge is either gay o... (Below threshold)
Silver Bullet:

"That judge is either gay or can't read. I sent him a clear message on my finger nail."

Lindsay Lohan realizes h... (Below threshold)
DJ Drummond:

Lindsay Lohan realizes her cellmate will be Blago.

"you quit!!! What do you m... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"you quit!!! What do you mean you quit?? You cant quit!! Who am I gonna pay to do my jail time?"

Lohan - "Ummm do I know you... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Lohan - "Ummm do I know you ? hic "

Why oh why did Johnnie Coch... (Below threshold)

Why oh why did Johnnie Cochran have to die a few years ago? I could've really used him now.

"Wait!... tell the judge I'... (Below threshold)

"Wait!... tell the judge I'd like to plead for a fifth."

Lohan: "Inconceivable!"<br ... (Below threshold)

Lohan: "Inconceivable!"
Lawyer: "You keep using that word, I don't think it means what you think it means."

"If I'm a twit, she ... (Below threshold)

"If I'm a twit,
she must acquit!"

"Mongo like nose candy!"</p... (Below threshold)

"Mongo like nose candy!"

Seriously. If you get me of... (Below threshold)

Seriously. If you get me off, I'll get you off.

I just heard Malia got brac... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

I just heard Malia got braces!

"Tell me it's not true! Ob... (Below threshold)

"Tell me it's not true! Obama's middle name is Hussein?!?!?!"

Lindsey: "Why doesn't that ... (Below threshold)

Lindsey: "Why doesn't that Judge understand that I am an actress - my life is hard."

Lindsey: "What does she know? Just because she studied hard in high school, got a great SAT score, got into a great college and studied hard, got a great LSAT score and a scholarship to a great law school, worked her butt off and made law review, passed the bar...what does she know?"

Lawyer: "She knows a dipstick when she sees one ... and so does my dog."

So I got 90 days. So I can ... (Below threshold)

So I got 90 days. So I can still go out and party at night...right?

Use the Chewbacca defense d... (Below threshold)
Mark W:

Use the Chewbacca defense damnit!

YOU MEAN HE'S GONNA BE PRES... (Below threshold)


"But I can be cute again!! ... (Below threshold)

"But I can be cute again!! Really can't we just go back to my being cute ?"

"Wizbangblog banned Rev Lee... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"Wizbangblog banned Rev Lee Ward Wright!! NO WAY !!!"

"What do you mean when you ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"What do you mean when you say Ron White is right?"

"I need a freakin' Midol...... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

"I need a freakin' Midol...and I need it NOW!"

"I'm SORRY I put the Whoopi... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

"I'm SORRY I put the Whoopie cushion on your
chair. There, I've said it!"

"The nail?! The NAIL?! You'... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

"The nail?! The NAIL?! You're pissed at me
for the NAIL?!! Hell, I WAS going to tattoo
a swastika on my forehead!!!!"

"They're all laughing at my... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

"They're all laughing at my Bruno Magli shoes."

"So WHEN do Joe Pesci and M... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

"So WHEN do Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei take
over......it's getting LATE!"

f*ck who?... (Below threshold)

f*ck who?

Who fafafufingered me?... (Below threshold)

Who fafafufingered me?

There's got to be a dumb bl... (Below threshold)

There's got to be a dumb blonde joke in here somewhere!

I'm sorry I didn't mean you... (Below threshold)

I'm sorry I didn't mean your ass was way fatter than Michelle Obama's.

"Well as my mentor, Don Imu... (Below threshold)

"Well as my mentor, Don Imus, yousta say...."

Tell the judge Global Warmi... (Below threshold)

Tell the judge Global Warming drove me to it!

Update: <... (Below threshold)
Kevin Author Profile Page:

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.






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