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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Former White House Chief of Staff and Chicago mayoral candidate Rahm Emanuel has makeup applied in preparation for a televised debate against Democratic rivals Gery Chico, Carol Moseley Braun and Miguel del Valle in Chicago, Illinois February 17, 2011. Emanuel needs 50 percent plus one vote to avoid a run-off and become the city's next mayor. Current Mayor Richard M. Daley announced that he will leave office in May after 22 years. REUTERS/Frank Polich (UNITED STATES - Tags: POLITICS)

Winners will be announced Monday morning.

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.


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Comments (105)

"OK... now don't forget to ... (Below threshold)

"OK... now don't forget to do the teleprompter too."

Makeup Person: "I knew John... (Below threshold)

Makeup Person: "I knew John Edwards, he was a friend of mine... and Rahm you're no, uh, er... you're actually a lot like him."

Makeup: "... so are you new... (Below threshold)

Makeup: "... so are you new in town?"

One of Obama's shovel ready... (Below threshold)

One of Obama's shovel ready projects.

As his assistant wipes the ... (Below threshold)

As his assistant wipes the blood off of his chin, Rahm asks "Are my fangs showing?"

After you cover up that zit... (Below threshold)

After you cover up that zit... Can you cover up my marxist record?

Why does a woman need two p... (Below threshold)

Why does a woman need two powder puffs?

Despite the best efforts of... (Below threshold)

Despite the best efforts of a team of make-up artists, Rahm Emanuel still looks like a disgusting little twerp.

"Why no, sir. I've never th... (Below threshold)

"Why no, sir. I've never thought about the benefits of investing in snake oil."

Rahmbo is going for a softe... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

Rahmbo is going for a softer, gentler look but the "Breck Boy" moniker just doesn't fit his personality.

"Excuse me, sir, but do you... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

"Excuse me, sir, but do you smell dead fish?"

Aides removing Barack Obama... (Below threshold)

Aides removing Barack Obama's make-up following his latest press conference were surprised to learn that he is really Rahm Emanuel.

"Have you thought about 'Ju... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

"Have you thought about 'Just For Men'? POTUS just loves it."

The wax museum exhibit of R... (Below threshold)

The wax museum exhibit of Rahm Emanuel is almost finished, and it's even more life-like than the man himself

Rahm gets his final bit of ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Rahm gets his final bit of make up put on for the Bela Lagosi look alike contest.

Makeup girl "Is that a zit ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Makeup girl "Is that a zit or are you just happy to see me"

C'mon, Rahm, eat the cookie... (Below threshold)

C'mon, Rahm, eat the cookie. All the other Jeopardy contestants ate theirs

The SyFy network Original S... (Below threshold)

The SyFy network Original Series, "Face Off", challenges make up artists to create the most realistic and horrifying on-screen monsters.

"Seriously, they're choreog... (Below threshold)
Upset Old Guy:

"Seriously, they're choreographing the ballet now. The plan is for a Broadway premier after I've taken office. It's called Tiny Dancer. I could maybe get you a coupla' tickets."

Gee, it was so nice of Opra... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

Gee, it was so nice of Oprah to send you over to help me out.

Don't forget to put the lip... (Below threshold)

Don't forget to put the lipstick on.

Putting lipstick on a pig.<... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Putting lipstick on a pig.

The makeup girl puts the fi... (Below threshold)
retired military:

The makeup girl puts the finishing touches on Rahm's 5th chakra.

I'm ready for my close-up M... (Below threshold)

I'm ready for my close-up Mr DeMille.

...and I ate his liver with... (Below threshold)

...and I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

I will listen now. After yo... (Below threshold)

I will listen now. After your father's murder, you were orphaned. You were ten years old. You went to live with cousins on a sheep and horse ranch in Montana. And...?

(Sorry, but Hannibal quotes are a gold mine for this guy.)

Chicago Politics: Two go in... (Below threshold)

Chicago Politics: Two go in, one comes out.

Com'n - you need more grime... (Below threshold)

Com'n - you need more grime to be attractive here.

Not even a professional mak... (Below threshold)

Not even a professional makeup artist could wipe the Smug look off of Rahm's face!

No matter how much makeup, ... (Below threshold)
teh Wind:

No matter how much makeup, the sixes still show through.

Trust me! This will make y... (Below threshold)

Trust me! This will make you look taller! After all, you already have a fat head!

Rahm recoils as the innocen... (Below threshold)

Rahm recoils as the innocent offers the means to cleanse his soul

I'm sorry, sir, but there's... (Below threshold)
Maggie Mama:

I'm sorry, sir, but there's no way I can make you the same color as Carol Moseley Braun.

Ok remember I want the afro... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Ok remember I want the afroasianlatinoindian treatment.

"I really did send that dea... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

"I really did send that dead fish you know"

Can you make me LOOK like a... (Below threshold)

Can you make me LOOK like a resident of Chicago?

"...is there a smudge?"<br ... (Below threshold)

"...is there a smudge?"
"Just on this city."

"I feel pretty, Oh, ... (Below threshold)
Tom Blogical:

"I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any (pol) who isn't me tonight."

Grover Dill grows older....... (Below threshold)

Grover Dill grows older.....lickspittle does not come in any shade but corrupted yellow...

Bill Clinton said that you'... (Below threshold)
Don L:

Bill Clinton said that you'd like this scent; he calls it the blue dress special.

No Rahm, this won't make you look like a minstrel.

Have we taxed face powder yet? Gee I don't know Mr. Emanual.

Do we have to do this makeup everytime you go to the bathroom Rahm?

Yes, Mr. Emanual, this service is completely free;it's in the Obamacare bill on page 2011, under final services.

"Wow...when you said this i... (Below threshold)

"Wow...when you said this interview was going to be a cream puff....I didn't think there would be actual cream puffs involved..."

Makeup artist fruitlessly t... (Below threshold)

Makeup artist fruitlessly trying to make brie out of limburger!

"I'm doing my best, Mr. Ema... (Below threshold)

"I'm doing my best, Mr. Emanuel, but all the make-up in the world can't cover up the filth and pollution from your years working in the Chicago Machine."

After the debate, the makeu... (Below threshold)

After the debate, the makeup artist was finally able to get his nose to shrink back to it's normal size.

Rahm with a view.... (Below threshold)

Rahm with a view.

I'm not spongeworthy! I'm n... (Below threshold)
Joe Miller:

I'm not spongeworthy! I'm not spongeworthy!

Next, we put some lipstick ... (Below threshold)
Rick Caird:

Next, we put some lipstick on this pig.

Breaking on Drudge: Rahm Em... (Below threshold)
Joe Miller:

Breaking on Drudge: Rahm Emanuel takes make-up girl with him to church. Working...

When you get up close to hi... (Below threshold)

When you get up close to him, you always get a faint whiff of sulphur.

Make-up artist: "Oops! ... (Below threshold)

Make-up artist: "Oops! There's still a little evil showing through... Lemme try and cover that up."

"That's it, two shades dark... (Below threshold)

"That's it, two shades darker.....It worked for Obama here in Chicago...and look where he is!"

" I looook RAAAAAHHHHHMMMMM... (Below threshold)


Makeup: "So how do you feel... (Below threshold)

Makeup: "So how do you feel about the US joining the UN in condemning Israel."
Rahm: "Ha kol B'seder"

I hear you've already got '... (Below threshold)

I hear you've already got 'the dead vote' all locked up.

This shade of "oompa loompa... (Below threshold)

This shade of "oompa loompa" will be best for this press conference Mr Emanuel.

"There now, Mr. Emanuel. Th... (Below threshold)
Silver Bullet:

"There now, Mr. Emanuel. That takes care of the slobbers on your chin but we must do something about the tie. I know you salivate every time you think about being Mayor of Chicago and all the money you will rake in."

Take you Viagra. Come on. O... (Below threshold)

Take you Viagra. Come on. Open up..

Polishing a Pipsqueak!... (Below threshold)

Polishing a Pipsqueak!

The Chicago mayoral contest... (Below threshold)

The Chicago mayoral contest is much like Mubarak's last election, but less open.

Cum again?... (Below threshold)
just bob:

Cum again?

"I'd like Nepotism, Desp... (Below threshold)

"I'd like Nepotism, Despotism, or Political Schism for $1000, Alex."

Turning shit to Shinola... (Below threshold)

Turning shit to Shinola

Wanna meet President Clinto... (Below threshold)
Pretzel Logic:

Wanna meet President Clinton?

I've heard rumors of polish... (Below threshold)

I've heard rumors of polishing a turd before. Now I know they are true!

Let's see if we can get tha... (Below threshold)

Let's see if we can get that smug look off your face Mr. Mayor. Ooops! Haven't had the election yet, have we.

So, how many union asses ha... (Below threshold)

So, how many union asses have you kissed today?

"I told you you needed to s... (Below threshold)

"I told you you needed to swallow when you are meeting with Obama. It's less messy."

Rahm puts on the face he sh... (Below threshold)

Rahm puts on the face he show the public.

is this what you call a "bu... (Below threshold)

is this what you call a "buttwipe"?

10 seconds to roll... we ha... (Below threshold)

10 seconds to roll... we have an ass in nine

You can put shine on a turd... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

You can put shine on a turd, but....

"Hold still a sec. You've ... (Below threshold)

"Hold still a sec. You've still got a dribble on your chin from your time at the White House."

Make-up Artist: "OK, Sir. I... (Below threshold)
Dodo David:

Make-up Artist: "OK, Sir. I'm finished making your face look orange. Now you are certain to be endorsed by the the Oompa-Loompa union."

You mean that one box you h... (Below threshold)
Don L:

You mean that one box you had in your Chicago rental didn't have any makeup?

I know you're used to a different kiind of white powder Mr. Emanual, but please try...

Oh come on, Rahm, I promise you won't look like Hillary.

I hate seagulls. Be sure to... (Below threshold)

I hate seagulls. Be sure to get it all off!

Sorry Rahm, asshole doesn't... (Below threshold)

Sorry Rahm, asshole doesn't wipe off.

Isn't it cute? Rahm has alr... (Below threshold)

Isn't it cute? Rahm has already bought the office. But, he's still pretending there's going to be a real election.

Just like Tammy Faye Baker,... (Below threshold)

Just like Tammy Faye Baker, Rham knew he had to have plenty of makeup to hide behind.

make me look like i've live... (Below threshold)

make me look like i've lived here for the last year sweetie!!!!

"Thanks. Now send in the w... (Below threshold)

"Thanks. Now send in the wardrobe girl. I want the other tutu and slippers."


"How many swipes does it ta... (Below threshold)

"How many swipes does it take to get to the center of a criminal mind?"

"Would you like another pho... (Below threshold)

"Would you like another phone book to stand on Mr. Emanuel?"

Lipstick didn't help.... (Below threshold)

Lipstick didn't help.

Nor did makeup.

Or the whole body makeover.

Face it, a Chicago politician is still a Chicago politician

Just this finishing touch... (Below threshold)
gaius piconius:

Just this finishing touch, then your flowered frock and off then into the bottom of that dark closet, to help compose yourself.

You can't make a silk purse... (Below threshold)

You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ass!

There are some things you j... (Below threshold)

There are some things you just can't polish.

I dreamed I won the Chicago... (Below threshold)

I dreamed I won the Chicago mayoralty in my Maidenform bra...

"This, sir, simulates the k... (Below threshold)

"This, sir, simulates the kind of questions you can expect from the press."

"I'm Jewish! I don't eat th... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

"I'm Jewish! I don't eat the wafer...but a glass of wine would be great."

"Wax on...wax off. You're g... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

"Wax on...wax off. You're getting it shiksa."

"Sir, we DO provide lunch! ... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

"Sir, we DO provide lunch! Here's your gratis
pita, and there's some schmaltz herring on the
second shelf of your dais.

"Momma called...and told us... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

"Momma called...and told us to wipe your chin
for you like she always did....before Obama had to."

"Never let a dirty cosmetic... (Below threshold)
Sir Toby Belch:

"Never let a dirty cosmetic pad go to waste!"

Now I'm just as tan as John... (Below threshold)

Now I'm just as tan as John Boehner! Yay!

Code name: Warchild... (Below threshold)

Code name: Warchild

Shall we put on face number... (Below threshold)

Shall we put on face number one or number two?

Paint me mayor!... (Below threshold)

Paint me mayor!

Quick! Take a powder, Rahm!... (Below threshold)

Quick! Take a powder, Rahm!

After a couple years with t... (Below threshold)

After a couple years with the thin-skinned glass jaw in the White House, Rahm gives new meaning to 'taking it on the chin.'

Those ballet accidents sure... (Below threshold)

Those ballet accidents sure leave their marks, don't they?

when monica did her preside... (Below threshold)

when monica did her president, she got it on her dress.

All the face makeup in the ... (Below threshold)

All the face makeup in the world can't hide the liberalism that lurks in the eyes...

"Aide puts lipstick on a pi... (Below threshold)

"Aide puts lipstick on a pig."

Puff, the Mayor Dragon....<... (Below threshold)

Puff, the Mayor Dragon....

Update: <... (Below threshold)
Kevin Author Profile Page:

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.






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