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Holy Terrors

There's a report out of England that finds that Christians are more militant than Muslims when it comes to integrating into society.


And it's a relief to hear that. I've been noticing the same here, but have been too afraid to say anything -- before now.


My own quiet little corner of New Hampshire is a veritable hotbed of tensions and hatreds.

Just down the road, there's a Catholic church. The priest has threatened to behead anyone who sells condoms.


On the other side of the town green, there's a Methodist church. They're holding a bake sale this weekend to buy car bombs.


A local dance club shut down after a Baptist suicide bomber blew himself up in it.


The Seventh Day Adventists one town south recently burned down a liquor store for opening on a Saturday.


The local Mormons (yeah, we got them, too) didn't appreciate the recent broadcast of the Tonys, complete with a scene from "The Book Of Mormon." They rioted and torched the local TV station.


There's a blood feud going on between the Episcopalians and the Congregationalists, and it's already claimed at least a dozen innocent lives. I think it started over hymnals.


Finally, there are the Jews. They're about to pack up and head somewhere more safe -- like Israel. At least there, they say, they only have to worry about the Muslims. And Islam, as they say, is a religion of peace.


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Comments (26)

And don't get me started on... (Below threshold)
LeBron Steinman:

And don't get me started on those masters of terror, the Amish.

Yeah I know Jay. We've had ... (Below threshold)

Yeah I know Jay. We've had the same problem here in Spokane.

At the Lutheran church supper someone got pissed about the mushrooms in a casserole and started slashing the little gray ladies with his scimitar.

The media's been to scared to report it.

Oh man, I forgot about the ... (Below threshold)

Oh man, I forgot about the amish. Heard they were putting bombs in those handcrafted fake fireplaces. You plug 'um in and BOOM.

Well to be fair, Christiani... (Below threshold)

Well to be fair, Christianity is a major stubling block to the formation of a single worldwide Communist government (what with it's belief in a Savior that's not a government official, it's focus on personal--rather than collective--salvation, and things like that) so it's no surprise that leftists see it as a threat. It's not a threat to the life, health, livelihood, or well being of any person or group of people, it's just a threat to the Democrat's/Leftist's/Statist's/Marxist's game plan (or "final solution", one might say).

Dont forget about the buddh... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Dont forget about the buddhists, they are stoning women who get raped by men for not fighting back hard enough. They also insist the women cover everything but their eyes so as not to entice men. of course no driving for women either.

And the Druids. Don't get ... (Below threshold)

And the Druids. Don't get me started on the Druids and their mistletoe...

I remain suspicious of the ... (Below threshold)
James H:

I remain suspicious of the Unitarians.

Pshaw! None of them hold a... (Below threshold)

Pshaw! None of them hold a candle to the Church of Anthropomorphic Global Warming!

Bwwwwhahahahahaha! Jay, yo... (Below threshold)

Bwwwwhahahahahaha! Jay, you just made my day.

SF- Brucepall

I thought it I was at anoth... (Below threshold)

I thought it I was at another blog site until I realize you were being satiric. That could been a serious post at some sites.

What's really ironic is tha... (Below threshold)
Tsar Nicholas II:

What's really ironic is that if you recited this post in the format of a lecture at a U.S. university or college a material percentage of your audience would not be able even to grasp the satirical aspect of it. You'd actually have to explain to them that you're engaging in ironic satire. That in turn would get them angry and they'd start acting out like loons.

Those Christians make Satan... (Below threshold)

Those Christians make Satanists look like Sunday School.

I sense a serious sarchasm ... (Below threshold)

I sense a serious sarchasm gap, among the local trolls that is.

I can't wait for Art W and his lackey Chico to pop in and tell us "Truth to power dudes!"

Jay, we have a group down here we call 'Hard Ankle Baptists' or 'Rollers' for short.
They've been training snakes for years and have amassed enough poisonous snakes to wipe out a major city.

The fucking Boy Scouts!!! H... (Below threshold)

The fucking Boy Scouts!!! Have you forgotten Them!!! God & Country! What they are doing is raising those Goddman Marines to kill, kill, kill

It's those agnostics that s... (Below threshold)

It's those agnostics that scare me most. Even they aren't sure, there is no telling what they will do.

Don't you say anything abou... (Below threshold)
Tom Cruise:

Don't you say anything about us Scientologists or I might go Mission Impossible Postal here.

A lot of stuff the Lutheran... (Below threshold)

A lot of stuff the Lutherans do in Northern California gets blamed (unfairly) on people of color like the Mexican gangs and the Ghetto thugs. I know it's hard to believe but it's true.

Want proof. They had a shoo... (Below threshold)

Want proof. They had a shooting in Lodi 2 AM this morning (Yes, That Lodi) 2 victims, 1 critical. The media is reporting that it was gang related but since Lodi has more churches per square mile than any other city in NorCal it's obvious what is going on.

The Christians do have this... (Below threshold)

The Christians do have this guy (whom they worship) who stands at the gate to heaven and tells all the other religious people to go to Hell. That's pretty militant.

Well with 85% of Americans ... (Below threshold)
jim m:

Well with 85% of Americans considering themselves Christians it stands to reason the they are proportionately responsible for crime as well.

With approx 17000 murders in the US every year that would mean that Christians are killing ~14000 Americans every year.

It's a holy war!

Given the level of muslim o... (Below threshold)

Given the level of muslim outreach and Sharia law being adopted in the UK I'm not surprised ...

Glenn -It was the ... (Below threshold)

Glenn -

It was the Baha'i. Yeah, they look all innocent and such, but underneath that nonviolent, peaceful facade they're UZIs all the way...

JLawson, you are wrong too.... (Below threshold)

JLawson, you are wrong too. I was the Jain...they act all peaceful and 'we won't harm a thing", sweeping their path with a broom and crap. Then, when you get home with them, they bring out a still beating heart of animals and eat them!

Or was that the Aztecs...damn i forget

The ones you gotta watch ar... (Below threshold)

The ones you gotta watch are the Quakers. If you even so much as breathe a word in defense of self-defense they will swarm on you like army ants.

Christians eat the body and... (Below threshold)

Christians eat the body and drink the blood of their, "Savior."

Not even al quaeda does that.

I laughed my ass off when I... (Below threshold)
Patrick T. McGuire:

I laughed my ass off when I first saw your posting at OTB with this message. The last line was absolutely brilliant! I look forward to more genius in the future.






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