Haiku To You

Kim pointed me to Fritz‘s entry in my own Weekend Caption Contest™. I usually try not to read the contest entries until Sunday so that I can look at all of them at once and pick a winner. But this was just too funny not to make mention of this weird little site…

If you are at all sqeemish about sex toys, language, or religion move on to the next post now…

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Divine Interventions (Flash site – loads slow on dial-up connections) is funny on so many levels that it’s just too interesting not to note. The dildo’s and sex toys definitely stand out with their religious themes. Obviously these folks don’t take themselves too seriously and the whole thing comes across as all in good fun. One funny part of the site that’s tucked away a bit is the sex toy haiku (non-Flash page). I’ve gathered some of the best, feel free to try to top these. Obviously you will need to study up on the product catalog first…

The power of christ
Compells you to ram Satans
Dildo up your ass

Fucking your god is
Truly the best way to see
Pleasure is holy

fundamentalists
shove lord jesus down my throat
up my butt is new

Depeche Mode haiku
Your own personal Jesus…
Reach out and touch faith!

and god so loved us
promised a second comming
“giving” us his son

No room at the inn,
but lots of room in the end.
A silent night, not.

delicately poised
plunging into my pink sea
Moses commands me

We atheists, yes,
Once mocked the Second Coming.
But now, oh, Rapture!