Law Of The Jungle

The Wizbang guide to successful furniture shopping at Costco

To the uninitiated; you may be wondering, “what’s the big deal?” To you I say Costco furniture shopping is war and only the strong shall acquire the goods they desire. Try this experiment – go to the warehouse, find a piece of furniture that looks like an really good deal, then come back the next day and see if is still there. Chances are extremely high that the item will be out of stock, or worse yet “out of stock and discontinued”.

Know the merchandise in other sections – Use your knowledge of deals in other parts of the warehouse to misdirect the curious and distract your enemies.

As in all wars, ground intelligence is key – It is absolutely vital that you have a detailed understanding of the stock levels at nearby warehouses and whether or not the item(s) are being reorders.

Leave the weak and whiney behind – Your nerves must be steely and you can not afford to be distracted by those who can’t keep up.

Sit on goods – Never enter with a wussy shopping cart; always take the flatbed cart even if you’re not planning on buying anything. What happens if you find a bookshelf or couch that you like? On a busy day the item could be gone by the time you go outside and do a cart switch.

Know your enemy – In this case the other shoppers. More and more of them come prepared. Look at the number of pickup trucks and SUV’s in the parking lot; those people are your enemy.

Show no mercy – If you’re fool enough to believe another shoppers sob story about why they really must get that last item you don’t deserve to get it. They’re lying…

Just today I had to explain these rules to a nice lady who was looking longingly at a bed set she wanted. There was only one in stock and she was on the phone to her husband about coming with SUV. She asked me how she could buy one of the beds. I explained to her that at Costco possession is 10/10th’s of the law. If it’s your cart you pretty much own it right then and there. The warehouse doesn’t have a lot of employees milling about and there is no one to put a “hold” on an item. If you don’t put in in your cart the next clown will.

She must have double checked with a Costco employee because last I saw her she had found a flatbed cart and was running back to the furniture section children in tow. She smiled and put out “thumbs up” as she raced past.

Another convert is born..

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