Why Your Community Site Must Die

Note: This entry is not going to make sense until you read (or at least skim) this post at Kuro5hin.

In the past, being part of a BBS system was an interesting pastime. Now, with the advent of ridiculously popular packages like phpNuke and Mojo, the Web is in risk of drowning under a tidal wave of moronic ‘community sites’ who have no purpose other than stroking the ego of their creators gathering geeks for a giant circle jerk.

You are all pretentious twats
Every last one of you. You’re all Jolt guzzling, Linux-using, city dwelling, unemployed slackers who offer absolutely no new insights on anything whatsoever apart from maybe one specialist field if we’re lucky. Most of you think that you’re participating in unique communities that will change history (See Deanspace) just because it’s the hip thing to do. You think you know all there is to say about forums because you understand the concept of group moderation and user levels. The horrible truth is all portal communities look basically the same. When I see the familiar forum structure of phpBB I run for the hills.

You make up irritating jargon for the sake of it
The word ‘community’ is acceptable. ‘forum’ is just about tolerable. Any term that you invent that ends in the following should be stricken from the web:

-space
-mania
-ite

All of your communities talk about the same crap
Some people use Linux, but having 20,000 Slashdots about a the joys of a do it yourself OS is absolutely useless. See, the vast majority of all ‘communities’ are about technology (although most exclude Microsoft). Some sites evolve into other topics, but even those are not very interesting. Other topics include:

Open source software
How the community should operate
Microsoft sucks
Linux rules
Etc.

You visit one Kuro5hin you’ve seen ’em all.

You are fucking stupid
The idiocy of Kuro5hin and Slashdot is most evident when you realize that anyone can participate. When sites allow for anonymity the members tend to make all kinds of gratuitous assertions and vile invective. Since everyone is anonymous, everyone feels free to be complete assholes.

You are all sheep
If you had an original thought you would have a blog.

Your site dreams of being on Google
Half of the conversations on phpNuke boards are on how to get Google to recognize the forum threads. Face it – Google is not interested.

In conclusion
Close your shit up.

/end satire
/end sarcasm

Kuro5hin screed originally seen at Solonor and Go Fish.

Update: The Commissar says, “Pretentious twats of the world unite!” In case you weren’t keeping track, that would be bloggers.

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