Redmond (AP) In a stunning reversal of OS strategy, Microsoft Corp. announced today that it was refocusing its operating system of the future and renaming it to better match its capabilities.
The software giant announced the name change to “Shorthorn” and promised the reduced feature set would allow them to make their target ship date of 2006 or late 2007 at the latest.
Microsoft apologists industry wide praised the more modest operating system saying that Shorthorn in 2006 or 2007 will provide a better overall user experience than Apple’s OS X delivered in 2001.
Greg Sullivan, lead product manager for Windows at Microsoft tried to explain the good news:
“Microsoft is not cutting back on its vision, Sullivan said. Instead the company is clipping features and functionality, without taking away the core of the improvements it promised, so it can deliver the product in a reasonable time frame. “
Experts are speculating which features will be cut but sources close to the development team say the privacy infringing features and security flaws were sure to remain as they are overwhelmingly popular with current Windows users.
Update below…
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“Shorthorn”?
Sounds like a bunch of bull to me.
Oh look – it’s an April Fools time warp! Cool!!!
So many dirty joke possibilities, so little time…
I would advise users of Shorthorn to download and install ENZYTE.EXE and run it regularly. Over a period of 90 to 120 days it will rename the operating system Longhorn, <fine print>but will not add functionalities not already incorporated into the operating system, nor will it cause the OS to boot up faster or better, or even properly every time. For that try another program such as VI@GRA.EXE or CI@LIS.EXE.</fine print>