It’s Friday, that means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Here’s the photo for this week:
Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.
Weekend Caption Contest™
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Kevin
Kevin founded Wizbang in 2003. He still contributes occasionally and handles all the technical and design work for the site.
I know they say I should smile more, but how do I fit that cow Lewinsky under the podium anyway?
How come my bunghole is puckered up so much right now, when I had no trouble defecating on these folks 33 years ago?
And THIS, my friends, is the hand I used to shoot that gook in the back.
“On this hand I was for the war. On the other hand I was against the war.”
and as you can see from the diagram on the white board, when you sign up 5 distributors, you’ll get a bonus satchel of rice and free soap for 1 year
Damn, where’s my integrity! Terry! Have you seen it anywhere?
easy enough, which position do you want to hear?
Now come up here and smell my fingers and tell me if you think TUH-RAY-ZUH’s pussy needs fixing.
Drink-up, my friends. The Kool-Aid is cold and refreshing.
I wish Teresa would take the butt plug out before my speeches…..
Greetings Draft Dodgers!
and so, I found that by using this throwing motion, I was able to get the medals over the fence without aggravating the shrapnel in my buttocks
With this hand, I will literally, figuratively and gleefully shove it, in its entirety, in the collective nation’s, world’s and yes you, the voter’s, orifice of my choice, when I become commander-in-chief.
Ladies and Gentlemen, behold the wonder of the Magic Hat…
“To be or not to be, I still can’t make up my mind.”
“Like she’s never soared before, from rocky coast to golden shore, let the mighty eagle soar,”
oO(damn, I’ll do anything to be President!)
I command you service avoiders to stand and applaud!
And here’s the karate death-chop I used on that kid in Vietnam…
“Come to Butthead.”
I’m too sexy for my hand.
Kerry tosses 3 medals away for old times sake…
Kerry tossed 3 medals away for old times sake…
Kerry tossed 3 medals away for old times sake…
To delegates – These aren’t the Naval records you’re looking for.
Delegates – These aren’t the Naval records we’re looking for.
Throw down your crutches and blog!
“Will the veterans leaving early please use the exit to the right of the auditorium… I mean the left of the auditorium… no, use the exit to the right… no the left….”
Sing to House of Pain’s Jump Around…
Let me begin
I came not to win
Battle me that’s a sin
I won’t tear the chads up
Swifties better back up
Try and play the role and James Carville will act up
Get up, stand up, come on!
Come on, throw your hands up
If you’ve got the feeling jump across the ceiling
CBS is a funk fest, Rather’s talking junk
Yo, I’ll bust em in the eye
And then I’ll take the memos home
Feel it, funk it
Amps it are junking
And I got more rhymes than Michael Moore’s at a dunking Donuts shop
Sure ’nuff I got props from the Dems on the Hill
Plus my mom and my pops
[Chorus]
I came to get down [2x]
So get out your vote and jump around
Jump around [3x]
Jump up Jump up and get down.
Jump [18x]
I’ll serve your butt like John MacEnroe
If Hillary steps up, I’m smacking the ho
Word to Osama I won’t drop bombs
I got more positions than the bible’s got psalms
And just like the Prodigal Son I’ve returned
Anyone stepping to me you’ll get burned
Cause I got ribbons and you ain’t got none
So if you come to battle (don’t) bring a shotgun…
…and that is why I must denounce you all for betraying your country by serving in the National Guard. Can’t you ingrates give me just one standing ovation?
Kneel before Zod!
(waving hand side to side)
I was in the Regular Navy and I love pogey bait!
“Ladies and gentlemen, I give you “Little Me” John Edwards”
Please welcome my special guest, Jane Fonda.
The best thing that has ever happened to me while having seamen run down my leg; was to be Wizbanged!
You there! Surely you never missed your physical!
Everyone thinks I’m high and I am.
You there! Surely you never missed your physical!
It is impossible to describe to you exactly what did happen in Detroit – the emotions in the room and the feelings of the men who were reliving their experiences in Vietnam. They relived the absolute horror of what this country, in a sense, made them do. They told stories that at times they had personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in fashion reminiscent of Ghengis Khan, shot cattle and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks, and generally ravaged the countryside of South Vietnam in addition to the normal ravage of war and the normal and very particular ravaging which is done by the applied bombing power of this country.
(in mid slap to the forehead, after drinking the kool aid)
“How do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a mistake — whoops, wrong speech… My bad.”
God, I loath the military
Bueller? Bueller?
…and it was with this very hand that I stink-palmed Howard Dean.
If you will turn your attention to the back of the room, you will see my campaign staff, drunk on the Kool-Aid of stolen elections, sneaking out the backdoor in hopes of missing this most disappointing speech I am about to make
“The Democratic Party should not become a constable of public opinion, but must dominate it. It must not become a servant of the masses, but their master!”
*paraphrased quote from a. hitler
… and I would like to welcome our special guest today, General Vo Nguyen Giap…. please give him a round of applause
“Sure… A couple more bottles of that ’88 Vouray would be great.”
from my cold dead hands!!
do they know how hard it is to keep a stone face and NOT yell at them like Howard Dean??
oO(wonders if that AP guy over there got the check Cahill sent over yesterday. He’d better say these unimportant people applauded me……)