My Travel Preparations

The news has been filled of late with reports from people (mostly women, and most of them young and attractive) at airports who claim that security screeners have been getting to… shall we say… familiar with them. Apparently in the endless quest for safety, women have been complaining of security searches, frisks, and patdowns that border on “second base” – level groping.

A week from this Saturday, I’m catching a flight down to Baltimore to visit with some old friends. I’ve been thinking about this, and the rather pathetic state of my romantic level of late, and have decided to take some steps to get ready for my trip.

I have acquired DVDs of Gigli, Waterworld, Ishtar, and Heaven’s Gate, and plan on carrying them in my pockets.

With that many bombs in my pants, I oughta be assured a very serious and thorough searching…

J.

UPDATE: BR, below, has pointed out the critical flaw in my plan. Curses… now where did I put those receipts?

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Brokaw's Farewell

8 Comments

  1. Omni December 2, 2004
  2. BR December 2, 2004
  3. julie December 2, 2004
  4. Debra December 2, 2004
  5. Debra December 2, 2004
  6. -S- December 2, 2004
  7. Jim December 2, 2004
  8. Ron Wright December 2, 2004