Things have been a little tight for me, personally, of late, and I’ve been thinking of ways to supplement my income a little. My first thought was another job, but between my full-time job and Wizbang, I really don’t have the time to spare. Then I thought of asking for donations, perhaps pulling an Andrew Sullivan and threatening to quit posting if I didn’t get donations, but then I realized I’d make more money if I offered to STOP writing for money.
Then, last night, it hit me. A perfect way to raise a LOT more money than either of the above options offered.
Anyone know of any Italian communists in or around Cow Hampshire I could kidnap and threaten to kill? I hear there’s good money in that, for very little risk…
J.
Dear Mr. Tea,
Please keep us up to date with this.
Sincerely,
Your FBI
Play it safe. Put Elmo on a diet.
You could always kidnap Massachusetts Communists, er Democrats, and threaten to give them back…
There are tons of commies available for kidnapping, but…..why would anyone pay a dime for the worthless SOB’s??
YOu could kidnap Teddy Kennedy, but I am kind of afraid they might make you keep him.
Well, at least the FBI has stopped telling you that you’re visiting illegal websites.
oooo! oooo! I volunteer my mother-in-law, Satan. Wait, I promised my wife I’d quit referring to my MIL as Satan. OK, I volunteer my “mother-in-law formerly known as Satan”. Well, then again, no one would pay to have her freed…
Then again, I know several ex-husbands that might pay for her to be kidnapped in the first place…
🙂
Just Me “YOu could kidnap Teddy Kennedy, but I am kind of afraid they might make you keep him.”
If you think you have problems now.. wait till you have to try and feed that sow and god, the bar tab…
Mark
You have laid out the ingredients for the perfect crime right there in your post. Kidnap Sullivan, empty his bank accounts, then ransom him back to his loyal readers. I see an easy $400k in it for you, and as long as you get one conservative on the jury you’ll never spend a day in prison. I know that I could never convict you of a crime for something like that….
I could, Bullwinkle: the crime of giving him back.
<rimshot>
Hey, we’ve got plenty of Commies (of all sorts of ethnicities) over here in Vermont! C’mon over and take your pick! Of course, nobody will give you a dime for them, so that kind of wrecks your scheme.
Jay, kep this sort of thing up and I’ll start thinking you’re some kind of actual LIBERAL.
WORK HARD son, that’ll get you more money. No one owes you a living. that’s the strength of this great land.
JOIN THE SERVICE perhaps, it gets you fit, the pay is pretty good, and you get to see the world at a time when your country needs you!
I wouldn’t be making disgusting jokes about kidnapping people though. Remember, a great number of our boys and girls have been kidnapped and even BEHEADED…don’t be so flippant about such things, even if they did the unspeakable and negotiated with the scum.
A perfect way to raise a LOT more money
Ever thought about grabbing Osama bin Laden?