It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Based on the success of last weeks contest, and in honor of the opening of Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (see The Carnival Of The Force), we’ll go to the Star Wars well one last time. Enter your best caption for the following picture:
Winners will be announced Sunday.
Update: Winners announced (follow the link to see who won). Comments are now closed.
Darth Vader finds a promising position in the classifieds:
“Autocratic government seeks overbearing dark lord with creepy supernatural powers. Duties include maintaining discipline among troops and stealing air from defenseless, peaceful planets. Please send resume, references, and salary requirements to President Skroob.”
–|PW|–
“Hmmmmm, Saddam in his undies. You are the master, now, Murdoch.”
“Dang it, how did Saddam get his own ‘Got Milk?’ ad before me.”
Even the Force can’t help me understand Dondi
“Bail Organa won’t see me here in his old neighborhood if I can just act casual. I just hope that slimy Ackbar doesn’t show up and alert him…”
Anakin’s turn to the Dark Side was complete when he read that Newsweek had reported that Obi-Wan flushed Yoda down a toilet.
Sadly, the New Republic just couldn’t take care of skyrocketing unemployment the way the Empire did.
Finally, photographic proof of people outside the United States who have way too much time on their hands… 🙂
[From Howard Dean – DNC press release] “We’ve lost countless jobs under George W. Bush. He’s even personally taken Darth Vader’s job as the most evil man in the universe. Now he’s forced poor Annakin Skywalker, who had a troubled childhood thanks to Republican social services funding cuts, to search the want-ads in vain. But with underfunded adult education programs, where will he turn?”
I am such a bitch for “Family Circus.”
“Sith Lord needed to manage new station. Salary negotiable+benefits; must supply own TIE fighter.”
Armed with his dark powers and the comic book provided by the Supreme Chancellor Palpatine Darth was only doing a so-so job of fitting in as Americas most alien illegal alien.
The Star Wars series has made it so easy for former Nazi’s to hide in South America. Everyone pays more attention to women, even those married with children.
“Britney, I want to father your baby!”
1) I’m not entirely sure I believe this story about a lobster-headed alien commanding the rebel fleet….
2) Padme had *twins*!?!
Sweet! Howard Dean said even I deserve to treated as “innocent until proven guilty.” Damn, that Delay guy is getting screwed.
Why couldn’t Donald Trump choose me as his apprentice instead of that Kendra bitch? That Palpatine guy just creeps me out.
Newspaper:
50 cents
Bitchin’ outfit from Hollywood Goodwill:
25 bucks
Wearing new outfit during weekend of MinuteMan duty to scare the hell out of illegal aliens…
priceless
Nobody will guess that I’m just another illegal alien…under this great disguise.
1) The slippery slope: Darth Vader was originally a follower of “The Far Side”.
2) The Sendero Luminoso receives a shot in the arm, as the unemployed Darth Vader goes job hunting in Peru.
Hmmmm….horoscopes…horoscopes…ah, here they are. “Beware of those closest to you today, they may betray you.” Bah! What a load of crap.
“I don’t care what they say about me in the papers, but damn it all, they could at least spell my name right!”
Vader: “Just look at that hot girl getting it on with that Stormtrooper! What’s he got that I don’t? What’s a Dark Lord of the Sith gotta do to get action like that these days?”
“Well, $450 for a two bedroom *does* seem like a great deal, but mom’s basement has a washer and dryer, and I get free dinners slid under my door.”
Hmmm Candidate will have good people skills, good communication, pleasant appearance, willing to work long hours and a desire to concur planets…..sounds perfect for me!
Newsweek has learned that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi has fled to Peru, where he was almost captured by two mechanics, an aerobics instructor, and a local pro bowler.
Daschle?
As his second child Leia was taken away, he was seemingly unaware…who would know he was paid under the table…she would never get child support…from him anyway.
“Now that Episode III is history, I’ve REALLY gotta find me a job. Hmmmmm…that exotic dancer job looks pretty interesting…”
“Prince Valiant? Now that’s a hair cut!”
“I told that Gary Sheffield not to wear panties on his head in right field!”
Hmmm . . . Ah, yes . . .
“Help Wanted, Evil Genius”
“Hmmm… lets see ‘Top Ten Most Stolen Vehicles’. Camry, Accord, TIE Fighter… DOH!”
I just wanted to point out that regular readers of this blog never see the results of these caption contests, because you don’t post them as updates.
“I find ‘The Family Circus’….disturbing.”
While reading his favorite tabloid, Darth Vader is shocked to learn who really is the father of Padme’s children.
“Damn, I can’t do anything right!” Prince Harry dejectedly mumbles after the Royal Family throws him out of the annual costume ball for dressing as another evil dictator.
Dick Cheney spends a little quiet time before his secret tete-a-tete with the other Dark Lords of Halliburton.
“My God, how did they get their hands on photos of Palpatine in his underoos?!”
hmmmm…
I wonder if those guys behind me are looking at the baby or her ass?
“Let’s see…I’m in the neighborhood now, I need to check up on my buddies at Sith County Choppers…”
(with apologies to Laurence Simon) “I find this paper’s lack of ‘Foxtrot’ … disturbing.”
“Three bedrooms, two and a half baths, not pets. Includes hyperbaric chamber. … Hmmmm, and the rent doesn’t look half bad.”
“Used space station, only blown up twice, must see to believe. Needs some work. Will entertain any serious offer. Something tells me I needn’t bother with that one.”
“Where can he be? I told him I’d be at the bus stop on the corner of Market Street and Sith Avenue … D’OH!”
USA Today….Yes, it has potential….
Must be the Group W bench.
(/obscure reference)
What Darth Vader does between Sequels, now explained.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
As the box office rang up record profits, the lonely saga of unemployed Vaders continued to unfold.
Caption (2):
“Los Angeles, May 20, 2005: the newly elected City Mayor photographed moments before he mumbled to Arnold Schwarzenegger, ‘Talk to the hand, beeaatch!’ and Governor Schwarzenegger grabbed his leather outfit. The Mayor is reportedly now resting comfortably in Long Beach after clinging to his helmet, while, elsewhere, the Governor enjoys a new-found support among California voters.”
Map to stars homes – $25
Bus fair to Alec Guiness’ home – $5
Getting your A$$ kicked by an OLD MAN – priceless
entry 2
After his 50th birthday, not even Darth Vader was able to muster enough force to satisfy Padme. Sadder still, his attempts at “it WAS good for you” did not work either, and he was forced to leave.
Man, Darth Saddam has really let himself go…