It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for this picture:
Winners will be announced Sunday.
Update: Winners announced (follow the link to read the winning entries). The contest is now closed.
“Mine’s bigger.”
Why compare when we could share?
“Yes we have upgraded the names of our rocket fleet. Mine is now known as the ‘PeeWee Herman‘ and the one you’re holding is the ‘John Holmes‘ rocket.”
“And I know it’ll fit since it’s smaller than my head.”
Cape Canviral engineers found themselves a bit embarrassed when the effects of the new Pfizer product “Nasagra” kicked in sooner than anticipated.
NASA official Dick Hertz demonstrates some high-tech methods of getting off.
[Only so much you can do with the “penis joke” genre]
After NASA’s Director cancelled the plans to have Paris Hilton do a series of commercials, they quickly discovered that her replacements just do not have the same impact.
“Yea, the bigger one has more thrust, but mine will run rings around Uranus.”
No, no. You grip the shaft like this!
It’s not the size of your rocket! It’s how fast you can get your “crew” into orbit!
“Damn, us euros must have used centimeters instead of inches again.”
1. “Damn, yours is bigger than mine.”
2. “Sure, the Swedish Penis Enlarger has its supporters, I prefer the Danish.”
3. “Ah YES, it is Rocket Science!”
“….. and really shows that size doesn’t matter in getting that payload delivered.”
Hair styling is neat, I only get to scratch my face with it.
“…and we believe that a ‘safe space’ program would do wonders for America’s latex industry.”
Whaddya say we try NASA’s first mission to Uranus right now?
“Hey, the rockets we are holding are positioned in such a way that they look like our genitals.”
Thanks, Miles, I’ll pass it on.
But don’t you think “We have liftoff of Space Shuttle Needledick” is a little too self-deprecating…even for you?
After submitting preliminary doodles, representatives from the two competing companies, Wang Technologies and John Thomas Engineering Inc. got together to expose their models for public viewing. The winning proposal will be erected next year on NASA’s third base, and is expected to go all the way.
Well, under Clinton we were ordered to diversify away from these patriarchal phallo-centric designs, but the FlyingTit and SpacePussy prototypes didn’t pan out. Only this phallic design has the thrust! thrust! thrust! to launch that payload into orbit.
Sometimes a rocket is just a rocket. Unfortunately, this isn’t one of those times…
Thanks to male enhancement drugs, Bob has a swelling of pride and well deserved jealousy from his freind!
“Eason tried to shove a third one of these up Amanpour’s ass, but she kept clenching and shouting ‘OH, MY POOR YASSER!’ over and over.”
Yeah, but mine doesn’t need strap-on thrusters.
Man in Red: This was hillary’s dildo while in the Whitehouse…
Man in blue: Yes…and since having chuck schumer’s head removed from her ass she’s upgraded to this one….
After years of intense research to determine superior methods of maintaining propulsion and thrust, experts demonstrate that “Bang” (left) easily outperforms “wiz”.
Imminent launch, imminent launch…ooh…aah…never mind.
Well, of course, yours is bigger, but parts don’t fall off MINE when I’m launching!
“OK, we can both reach without bending over, so that only leaves one question; Spit or swallow?”
“The two women on the flight had proffered a vagina shaped rocket and we’re beginning to agree with that concept. Either that, or we could put some Viagra in the fuel tank … ha ha ha.”
“Don’t you ever get tired of all the women staring… all the time… God, I hate being treated like I’m just some piece of meat, just because I’m a rocket scientist!”
“I don’t.”
Pretty weak that you’d steal this bit directly from The Daily Show.
Get hold of yourself Edwards! Like the government, we’re here to help! A quick shot and a suppository and you’ll be as good as new.
“…and John, we think we have finally found a way to get women excited about space exploration, working scale models of our…er…rockets.”
It’s been done. Daily show had a segment with the clip, complete with Enzyte innuendo…
If your foam breaks anytime during the launch, you had better abort or you risk an unwanted pregnancy.
On STS-114 Miles, NASA has installed over 100 cameras in an effort to get the “money-shot”.
remember it is not the size of the rocket that is important it is now fast you get her in to orbet.
I’m John Kerry and I approved this message.
(Guy in red):
Uh…actually, this isn’t a model. It’s a suppository my doctor prescribed for my ‘roids.
“Let’s modernize NASA by launching Skylab from the top of a Space Shuttle stack.”
“No, let’s go back to Gemini: everything since then sucked.”
“There I was, in Cambodia on Christmas Eve, my swift boat taking heavy fire from the shoreline, all my crew wounded, with only my trusty Shuttle between me ‘n the Gooks…”
“uh . . . that would depend on the the definition of ‘is’ is”
And this one time, at Space Camp…
“Screw the 40 goats and 20 cows, the way I figure it, if we can get one of these prosthetic suckers strapped on Bill, we’ll get Chelsea in trade easy.”
Oh my…
Red shirt: “You know, I left Dick Cheney’s employ to get away from just this sort of moment.”
Brian Williams NBC news:
Judy, On the left the man in the blue shirt is holding the George W Bush model and on the right the man in the red shirt is holding the John Kerry model, we know see why Mr. Bush really won re-election.
Judy: indeed Brian.
1. Deuce Bigelow casting couch rejects.
2. And Leon is getting larrrrrrger.
3. Mmmmmm…. Astroglide!!!
4. I’ll boldly go into your black hole if you boldly go into mine.
Red shirt: “See, this is why I hate working for CBS. Here we are trying to give a visual demonstration of the space shuttle, and we get two models that aren’t even close to the damn thing! Hell, I think mine’s a painted bottle rocket!”
Blue shirt: “True, but remember: they’re fake, but accurate.”