We've Got the "Cheap Attempt To Sell Records by Means of Noxious Political Hectoring Blues"

Longtime readers of our humble “weblog” undoubtedly recognize that we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” greatly esteem The Nation magazine, a prime soapbox for lunacy since 1865. Any weekly bold enough to grant column space to a man with as humorous a name as Alexander Cockburn is dynamite in our collective book.

And we must stress that the reader of The Nation, in addition to delighting in the witless rants of Eric Alterman at his most unhinged, is afforded all manner of pleasantries. For instance, in the “Liberal Liasons” portion of its classified section, one sees adverts such as:

EROTIC ADULT PHONE CONVERSATION with sensual, intelligent women. Any topic welcome! Call (888) 495-8255.

“Sensual, intelligent women”: So that’s the key to progressive ‘phone sex. Finally some lascivious chat without all that horrid right-wing bias! It’s like Jenna Jameson meets Jerold Nadler. Wow, that’s a yummy image.

If, as this ad suggests, we can truly discuss “any topic” with the company’s “intelligent” operators, may we humbly suggest dilating on Nation editor Katrina vanden Heuvel’s inability to name her own political representatives? We can’t vouch for Ms. vanden Heuvel’s sensuality, but clearly she’s ultra-intelligent.

Perhaps even more entertaining are the smallish advertisements found in the back of the magazine. In addition to T-shirt companies trying to make a quick buck from ardent pacifists with “Kill George Bush” V-necks, there’s some really intriguing stuff to buy.

Did you know, for instance, that for a mere $7.95 plus $1.50 postage you can be the proud owner of a “2006 Cat Lovers Against the Bomb” wall calendar? We sure didn’t, but we thank our lucky stars that The Nation opened our eyes to this brilliant product from a group called “Nebraskans for Peace.” Clearly, their intellectual EKG is as flat as their state.

But what really struck us, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” is an ad placed directly above the Nuclear Freeze Kitties. Sporting a picture of a man who looks like a superannuated roadie, the advertisement in question reads: “Patriot Act Blues: Howard Glazer rocks against the right.”

If you’re anything like us, you are undoubtedly thinking: Boy, with a name like Howard Glazer, you’re pretty much born to stick it to the man. We wonder what happened to other anti-conservative rock-‘n-roll rebels. Like Sol Mortensen: Perhaps he never recovered from his hip-replacement surgery. Man, that would be so un-hip.

But we digress. Naturally, we jumped at the chance to check out Mr. Glazer’s “Patriot Act Blues.” We were enraptured to discover, then, that his record company’s “website” offers a free “downloadable” snippet from the tune in question.

Our review? Well, let’s just say that the ditty is so bad–with its clichéd blues riffs and horrid white-boy-trying-to-sound-cool singing–that we assume it must be a joke. And the lyrics ain’t great either.

With any luck, the Feds will get a hold of his album and arrest Mr. Glazer for crimes against Leadbelly.

(Note: The crack young staff regularly “weblog” over at The Hatemonger’s Quarterly, where they’ve contracted a scorching case of the “Victor Navasky Blues.”)

Whither CNN?
New Hampshire Blogging Bash: Take II

5 Comments

  1. Charlie (Colorado) February 12, 2006
  2. Omni February 12, 2006
  3. kbiel February 13, 2006
  4. Paul Zrimsek February 13, 2006
  5. corwin February 14, 2006