Things not to do at home II

Chase your cat along the roof before jumping off.

A man trying to catch his pet fell off a roof and impaled himself on the fence late Wednesday.

The man, whose name was not released, was chasing his pet cat on the roof of his trailer at Northwest 11th Court and 79th Street about 9 p.m., Miami-Dade Fire-Rescue officials said.

The feline got away and the man jumped off the roof, expecting to land on the ground. Instead, the 42-year-old found himself impaled on the metal fence.

The man’s wife immediately came to his aid, and neighbors hearing the commotion called 911.

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The man, although in severe pain, was expected to recover.

If either of my cats get out and somehow manage to get on the roof, I won’t be chasing them.

This story, just as I am about to leave for chemo, reminds me of this little story told by Sam Waterston in Capricorn One

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A guy returns from a long trip to Europe, having left his beloved cat in his brother’s care. The minute he clears customs, he calls his brother and inquires after his pet.

“The cat’s dead,” his brother replies bluntly.

The guy is devastated. “You don’t know how much the cat meant to me,” he sobs into the phone. “Couldn’t you at least have given a little thought to a nicer way of breaking the news? For instance, couldn’t you have said, ‘Well, you know, the cat got out of the house one day and climbed up on the roof, and the fire department couldn’t get her down, and finally she died of exposure… of starvation… or something? Why are you always so thoughtless?”

“Look, I’m really, really sorr,” says his brother. “I’ll try to do better next time, I swear.”

“Okay, let’s just put it behind us. How are you, any way? How’s Mom?”

There was a long pause. “Uh,” the brother finally stammers, “uh… Mom’s on the roof.”

So leave her or rather the cat there.

Hard Choices
Year of the Rat