It must have had nice legs

I’ve heard of people being lonely but this takes the cake. From WCSH 6

A man in central Ohio is accused of having sex with his picnic table.

The investigation began when a tipster gave police three DVDs showing Arthur Price having sexual intercourse with a metal round table on his deck.

The incidents occurred between January and March 2008.

Police say the DVDs show Price involved in a sex act in his bedroom. He walks out to his deck, tilts the table on its side and has sex with it.

*****

Price admitted that he had sex with the picnic table when police questioned him.

I agree with Sonagi at Marmot’s Hole, who has this story tagged as ‘sick, sick, sick,’. Price is sick all right.

In related news, a man in Australia falsely repeated to the police his being raped by a wombat. What is this world coming to?

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