A Public Service Announcement

Last week, the highly respected publication Lancet (whose authority is unquestionable) announced that it has withdrawn its 1998 study linking autism with certain childhood vaccines.

This in no way should cause any Citizen to lose the slightest bit of faith in this publication, no more than its erroneous calculations about deaths caused by the Iraq war.

Nor should this announcement cause any Citizen to lose the slightest bit of faith in the scientific community, especially in the field of Anthropogenic Global Warming Climate Change.

Skepticism and doubt is an essential tool in Science, but it is a potent one that should only be practiced by thoroughly trained and sanctioned and licensed Professionals. Ordinary Citizens should not trouble themselves with such challenging concepts, and trust these Professionals’ knowledge and integrity.

Citizens observed practicing Skepticism and Doubt should be reported immediately, so they can attend Dr. W. Smith’s re-education seminars in Facility 101.

Those who fail to attend — or attend and fail — will be granted further re-education in specific facilities set up around the nation.

That is all. You may now resume your normal duties, Citizens.

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