HomeWeekend Caption ContestWeekend Caption Contest™ Weekend Caption Contest™ Kevin December 24, 2004 Weekend Caption Contest 45 Comments It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. This picture should inspire some great captions. Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed. We're Not Moving Until Santa Comes! No good deed goes unpunished Share this:FacebookTwitterRedditEmailMoreLinkedInPinterestPrintTumblrPocket Related Posts Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™ Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™ Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™ About The Author Kevin Kevin founded Wizbang in 2003. He still contributes occasionally and handles all the technical and design work for the site. 45 Comments Cybrludite December 24, 2004 Hey, it’s snowing! We can drive like they do in New Orleans during clear weather! Kathleen December 24, 2004 “I must find a way to stop Christmas from coming; but how?” Then, the ACLU got an idea. It got a wonderfully awful idea. “Why, we’ll build a weather machine so strong and so sweet it’ll make the whole Midwest one great big ice sheet!” Laurence Simon December 24, 2004 One gift that’s not flying off of store shelves this Christmas is “The Sims 2: Holiday Travel Expansion Pack.” Glenn Dobson December 24, 2004 Mary remembered parking her SUV at the top of the hill. “… it was 4-wheel drive with the Kerry/Edwards sticker on the back ” she told the officer, paused and thought …” why does is this seem familar ? ” Doug December 24, 2004 A.P. Exclusive With global warming , the high price of gasoline , and the terrible Bush economy , the streets were nearly deserted for this “worst holiday season in the last 50 years.” Billll December 24, 2004 The annual Miami convention of Cocaine importers and dealers was unusually well attended this year, after a passing gust of wind blew some of the party favors off the reception tables on the penthouse level of the hotel. Angie December 24, 2004 Thinks all the males out on the road, “If I wasn’t married, I could be home in my underwear watching tv, but instead I’m stuck driving to her relatives on this crappy day.” Teflon93 December 24, 2004 The Blue State Exodus ran into a snag today when would-be refugees realized you need a boat or a plane to get to France. -S- December 24, 2004 Little Stevie finally catches up to his parents at the top of the hill and blurts out: “Hey, DAAAD, you and that SUV over there are holding up something like miles and miles of cars! What’s the problem? WHYYY?” Dad in the vehicle responds: “The SUV stepped on my sandal! So I took his keys! Go call the copsss, I can’t get a signal while I’m parked here!!” -S- December 24, 2004 Democrats practice “Canada driving.” Note that there appears to be a lot more practice needed, particularly when none of the Democrats drive vehicles prepared to survive the weather conditions anywhere. Rodney Dill December 24, 2004 “Wheeeee… coast dad, coast.” Stephen Macklin December 24, 2004 Stan wanted a vehicle that was the perfect marriage of mid-size sedan and luxury SUV. Allium December 24, 2004 The Kerry/Edwards camp suddenly realized maybe Canada wasnt the best place to move to. -S- December 24, 2004 Someone stops to ask the Democrats in Washington State why they didn’t stop at the red light. MetallicaRat December 24, 2004 Soon after, Chicago banned cell phone usage, as the radiation confused drivers’ inner compass. IR December 24, 2004 Witnesses said that the Bing Crosby statue which the town has regarded with so much pride in the past was separated in three separate pieces, and removal of Crosby’s trademark pipe from one of those segements won’t occur without the services of a welder and a vice grips. KipEsquire December 24, 2004 The much-anticpated Fox special effects sequel “The Day After the Day After Tomorrow” finished a disappointing 17th at the box office over Christmas weekend… Eric December 24, 2004 Grand Theft Auto: Fargo had amazing graphics, but the gameplay leaves a lot to be desired. Mara December 24, 2004 I’m dreaming of a white winter holiday, just like the ones I used to know Where the treetops glisten and children listen to hear non-religious holiday oriented bells in the snow I’m dreaming of a white winter holiday, with every winter solstice card I write May your days be merry (but not in a religious holiday sort of way) and bright, and may all your winter holidays be white This storm and song were brought to you by global warming and the ACLU – sucking the fun out of holiday year in and year out. OneDrummer December 24, 2004 It was not the white Christmas Marion Berry had envisioned…. OneDrummer December 24, 2004 Seattlelites discover mixing last night’s Mexican food with a quad-shot Venti Mocha and driving without studded snow tires can really become a pain in the ass…. OneDrummer December 24, 2004 When Courtney Love’s luggage somehow disembarked from a recent United Airlines flight over Los Angeles, residents thought once again the forecasters at NOAA had too much to drink at their holiday party, by predicting sunshine for Christmas. docweasel December 25, 2004 As the migration to the red states continues, officials ask that the last person out of the Rust Belt please turn the lights off. Eric December 25, 2004 “Are we there yet?”… “Are we there yet?”… “Are we there yet?”… “Are we there yet?”… “Are we there yet?”… “Are we there yet?”… “Are we there yet?”… “Are we there yet?”… “Are we there yet?”… “Are we there yet?”… “Are we there yet?”… “Are we there yet?”… “Are we there yet?”… “Are we there yet?”… “Are we there yet?”… “Are we there yet?”… -S- December 25, 2004 The driver of a burgundy SUV thinks to him/herself, “I am SO smart…I mean, I am SO smart, SO SMART. Puny humans.” -S- December 25, 2004 Meanwhile, the driver of a very big, red delivery truck ponders just how many cars he can scrunch over and how far he can get before someone stops him… Perry Peterson December 25, 2004 Check that *[email protected]!* map again Agnes, it can’t be snowing where the cable cars run! Where’s Lombard Street? McCain December 25, 2004 Michael Moore farted. Justin B December 25, 2004 Grand Theft Auto 7 – Challenge 8b Strategy Guide Steal Beer truck and run over as many Californians with Kerry – Edwards stickers on them as you can in 3 minutes. Don’t worry about retaliation as they are against carrying guns. ginabina in Hawaii December 25, 2004 If Hawaii only wasn’t a blue state, it would be perfect! epador December 25, 2004 …the nearer your destination, the more you slip sliding away… PTG December 25, 2004 The traffic soon reached an equilibrium; the cars with the least traction settled to the bottom of the draw, those with chains formed an outer ring. As the gas ran out, the cars settled into a snowy tableaux that brought an eerie sense of rightness to the old physics teacher. RickZ December 25, 2004 “We come from the land of the ice and snow from the midnight sun where the hot springs blow Driving . . . our SUV-eee’s!” RR December 25, 2004 Rush Hour in Bogota, Colombia Tropean December 25, 2004 “Ah think ah kin, ah think ah kin, ah think ah kin . . . . Dangit Hillary, push harder!!!!!!” McCain December 25, 2004 As a lone Berkeley liberal carries out his post-election threat to move to Canada, the Candians begin a counter-attack against the U.S. McCain December 25, 2004 Concerned environmentalists flock to Al Gore’s annual symposium on global warming. jesse December 25, 2004 Don’t ya just love last minute Christmas Eve shopping??? js Maggie December 25, 2004 Bostonians sufferng from PEST were stranded on local streets as a snow storm moved in. Unable to get to the group therapy session, their depression reach an incredible depth. Despondent, they just placed their cars in PARK, and refused to move another inch until a nationwide recount was held. Peakah December 25, 2004 The race was on late Christmas Eve up the icy hill to the very last “I Can Potty Elmo” at the WalMart atop the hill. Aggressively the 2 wheel drive vehicles encounter problems while the 4×4 pickup at the bottom of the hill jockeys for position to overtake the under equiped leaders in order to make the mad dash to aisle 8 where the last Elmo awaits. Lets go to our sideline reporter Melissa Stark for an update on the leaders who seem to have found some trouble. What can you tell us Melissa? Allium December 26, 2004 Ahh, honey? You missed the turn off to my mothers house. Mike S December 26, 2004 All the top NASCAR drivers are lined up in the Talledega super speedway pits for the start of the first race in the new NASCAR Winter Stock Car Racing Series. There were some complaints from the crew chiefs and team owners about the ambigous rules on equipment and cars. One team owner asked, “How in the hell does a Coke delivery truck qualify? If I’d a known the rules were gonna be that loose, I’d a stopped by the amory and borrowed an M1-A1.” firstbrokenangel December 26, 2004 This is the National Weather Station reporting from just south of Indianapolis where every driver definitely has “brain freeze.” The snow is causing quite the problem here as you can see with cars slip-sliding around and many of them going in the wrong direction. It’s quite a mess. The Governor has asked that unless it’s an emergency, please stay at home until the roads have been cleared. Cindy OneDrummer December 26, 2004 Bourbon Street on Ice. -S- December 26, 2004 The *red* *SUV* experiences clear sailing on a clear road going, clearly, in the *right* direction.